As the Toto Turns 177

Phil and Paul call the Cyclysm

 Phil and Paul call the Cyclysm

40 Comments

Nathan Brifter

In it’s biliousness. I don’t like His Hopeness either, nor Versus’ constant collective head up his arse, but you could have done this with a little more class. Perhaps if the shots had just been at Versus, and not also at their rotund saviour’s alleged pharmaceutical collection.

Still, look forward to the next instalment.

Mathis Threadlock

BRRRRRRAVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

This was awesome! Toto makin’ me laugh again.

Reid Rothchild

He’s 38 years old and still on the podium of the Tour. The guy couldn’t even finish what he started in his early 20’s. It would be dereliction of duty if these Velocity fellas didn’t rag Pharmstrong.

GulfCoastRider

nah skip the hollyweird, keep it cyclingweird. More Levi, I have an unhealthy fetish for bald heads and bottles.

Reid Rothchild

Dear Lukas Bottle,

Lance and I “worked in” both of the Olsen twins and caught it on film with a cameo by Dirk. Unfortunately Dirk’s “talent” frightened Lance and we had to give him a Xanax to calm him down. To counteract that and get him back up to speed with the girls we had to give him a direct injection and a couple of crushed Cialis, just the ones for daily use, however. A good time was had by all and Lance even enlisted the Porn community to fight cancer. Dirk has even taken to wearing a Livestrong band during performances as an aid to endurance. We won’t show Lance the footage because it might trigger another anxiety attack. Lance really shouldn’t feel intimidated by Dirk’s “talent” but everyone knows he has a huge ego.

Sincerely,

Reid

Wheelbilly

Funny one. Now I’m wondering if Boner is going back to Applebees and devise a sneaky plan to steal Devolder’s appetizer, until the scheme goes awry.

Procrit/Pro Crit

The only thing good about Versus is Frankie Andreu.
The coverage is so pro-Lance that it makes Tiger Woods’ journalists seem like weak fans. Craig Hummer has been the emcee for Lance et al many a times as well. There should be a disclaimer for those who work for Versus as to their disgusting bias bar Andreu.

MacRoadie

Who is this Sandy Betrue from Michigan? Probably some fat housewife from Dearborn with nothing better to do all day than blog and eat bon-bons.

West Coast Reader

Yea, Versus coverage blows! Will they ruin Paris-Roubaix again? Cut it off short to view some poker game? Cut if off short to view that 2 lb bass fish?

As I read Toto I felt I was watching Versus cycling coverage again! Luckily I don’t pay for that, anymore.

Loic Torque

Good one, but I’m thinking Cavendish needs a spot as the latest fat-head douchebag. I thought LA “passed the torch” to him anyway, now it shows.

Schbalz

if you care that much about Paris-Roubaix, why not watch the live feed? there’s multiple freebies.

Matteo Bottle

he got lucky at Milan-San Remo last year. no one thought he could keep up. this year they roasted his heavy arse and nearly melted the hardware on his potty little horse mouth even before the cipresa. he’s the new cavstrong. greipel, who’s no freire but can climb, better moves to bmc or sum’thin’

Schmirnov

Ahh, you truly capture the pain of watching bike racing in America. Better to watch with your own choice of audio. Phil misidentifies the riders anyway.

But yeah guys, couldn’t you keep it more classy? You love cancer or sumthin?!

Schiatuzzo Bushing

unfortunately, spartacus was completely routed in an attempt to make a last stand against the crassus’ legions.

just a thought

I know it’s tough to drop the Lance fetish that oozes into every frame, but you missed a big opportunity to lampoon the Flanderian Cancellara/Boonen freak ride and the thousands of poseur cyclists getting their Flanders on pre-race. Sometimes you gotta pay to feel like a fueled up rock star without actually being one.

confused chamois

Information??? blog??? Frankie Andreu??? Blowson twins???
Is this the Fat Cyclists site?

Remi Seattube

Caught the Tour of Flanders, live, on the internet but did tune into Versus later. God was that painful to listen to!
TOTO is spot on!

Dong Work For Yuda

to get yourself some rump release. The continual homo-erotic fawning over King Doper is insane. I just picture Phil and Paul all full of whiskey and goofballs, not wearing any pants, slapping each other and making out on commercial breaks. Nice to see Lance (and that team of chargers) having a shit year so far. “Wrong, bitch!” – good stuff. Keep it up.

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