schmalz – bowling over

The heat of summer is still with us, a heat that I used to describe as “stabbing weather” when I lived in New York City. Now that I’ve moved to the gentler climate of New Jersey, this weather has morphed into “get the manager weather”. Irrespective of description, it is still hot out there, and it seems that this heat is making us all a bit heated. 

I feel that I need to mention here that we are all involved in the endurance sport equivalent of a bowling league. I’ve said this many times before, but right now it feels like it bears repeating. We dress up in matching outfits, buy professional level equipment and pin on numbers just like many top-level racers across the world. But these activities DO NOT make us pros. You can win every CRCA club race, and two months later friends and family will strain to recall your triumphs. The glory is temporal, the trophies eventually get shoved into the back of a closet, the jerseys are rarely worn.

But there is one way in which we can emulate the pros, and that’s in the injuries that we can potentially incur. We can break collarbones, crack ribs, collapse lungs, and get concussed. When it comes to injuries, we can do anything the pros can do. Gravity doesn’t care whether you’re paid to cycle. It only cares about enforcing its laws. And it will bring down any racer that runs afoul of its edicts. This is why we need to race like amateurs. Our livelihood doesn’t depend on our racing success, a successful race for an amateur is a race that an amateur rides away from unscathed. This should be the first goal for every amateur, because our livelihoods depend on our ability to NOT get injured in a bike race. And it’s not just our livelihoods that need preserving, it’s also nice to not be injured, so you can, you know—live normally. We place the responsibility for our collective safety in each other’s hands.

So this is my plea to my fellow racers—CHILL THE INTERCOURSE OUT. There’s no reason to race every lap in Central Park like it’s the last corner on the Champs-Élyseés in the Tour. You don’t have to fight for position three miles from the finish of a park race. If an incident happens in a race, meet up and make nice. Sh*t happens in a bike race, it’s almost never personal, but it can be taken personally and can fester into a bigger wound if the incident isn’t worked out after a race. Say you’re sorry, and if someone says that they are sorry to you, accept the apology graciously. We see each other every week, and things will be a lot more pleasant without an entire catalog of standing vendettas simmering just below the surface.

It’s a bike bowling league, act accordingly.

3 Comments

Broken helmet

Love this. I love to race, but I am pretty fucked up from that crash. I’ve taken two days off work, I can’t remember breakfast, and I can’t remember my phone call with my mother last night. We are not pros, so let’s take a chill pill, have a beer, and have fun. No need for this chaos.

Karlwithak

CRCA now has regular 100 rider fields, and USA cycling allows upgrades to cat 3 with what they call pack finishes, so a 1,2 , 3 race is effectively the same as having a 1,2,3,4,5 race a few years ago, which was according to the rule book a violation to combine cat 4 and 5 with 1 and 2. add to that Zwift and so many people rolling 400 watts. all that is a formula for crashes, Why not have the A race cat 1,2 only. introduce a better attended masters category too

CRCA rider

A master field will be great. Many of masters riders are 1-2-3 . Separating the old guys from the young guns could be a solution . There are masters on A field that are 55+ even 60 years old. No the same a foundation young guy 22 years old than a master rider 55+

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