Yesterday’s TTT stage turned out to be a really compelling stage, and bear in mind, I am a person who doesn’t really care for TT stages – and that’s putting it mildly. I enjoy TT-ing about as much as I enjoy paying taxes, which is to say, annually.
Preview
Stage 1
Stage 2
Stage 3
Stage 4
And while there were winners on yesterday’s stage, what is most important to note it that there were LOSERS – a fact so important that it made my keyboard spontaneously revert to all caps. Let’s have a look at the poor fellows who didn’t do so well yesterday, shall we?
Denis Menchov
His team lost 2:21(a lot of that time consisted of Denis peeling himself off the tarmac -– does Menchov hit the dirt in every TT? Is Bobby Julich coaching him?) to Astana yesterday, which puts him at 3:52 on the GC. Menchov likes to make time in the TTs and then hang on like slavic death in the hills. This may vault him past Aleksandr Kuschynski, but might not launch him onto the podium.
Carlos Sastre
Cervelo had to drag Sastre to the finish yesterday, and he sits at 2:44 on the GC. But Carlos can come back as he will actually attack in the mountains. Granted it may only be once, but he will attack.
Linus Gerdemann
I mention Linus because for some reason, no one else takes him very seriously – maybe it’s because he’s so hot. Don’t hate him because he’s beautiful! Linus sits at 3:11, 2:49 of which can be attributed to his team’s manure-based TTT performance. Linus was savvy enough to make The Split™, but his team wasn’t up to the task of towing his pretty, pretty face to the top five in the TTT. Without the TTT time loss, Linus would be sitting at 22 seconds down, right behind Contador on GC. The Milram team mechanics had to work through the night to wipe the tears off Linus’ top tube.
Cadel Evans
Normally, I enjoy taking swipes at the pricky Evans, but this would just be piling on right now. His team finished 2:36 down, in a ride that would takes all sorts of synonyms for excrement to fully describe the awfulness. Cadel sits at 35th place, 2:59 down. The TTT cost him all but 20 seconds of that deficit. Cadel now has to make up that time with mountain attacks, wait, pause bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Cadel attacks in the mountains in the Tour! Oh, that’s a good one. He may be able to attack enough to snatch 34th place, but that’s only if Luis Pasamontes Rodriguez gets the runs.
Well, that’s enough rubbing salt in the wounds, let’s check the winners (or non-losers more accurately) from yesterday.
Astana
Astana rode the ride of a lifetime, ferrying the King of Cycling (® Phil Liggett) to his rightful place near the top of the standings. All is right in the world and awareness abounds.
Garmin
In the TTT, Garmin riders were dropping like standards at closing time. They finished the stage with five riders, the minimum required. They lost to Astana by only 18 seconds. This, to me is a phenomenal ride, which seems to be getting overlooked by the LiveHorde™.
To me, the ride of the day was by Ryder Hesjedal, who had to hang onto the Garmin lady-gloved locomotive in order to finish as the 5th man over the line. And the stage may be evidence of some emerging form from VDV, and I will not say any more about that.
I tune into the live coverage, and we are at the recap, and in a shocking development, we have Tommy Voeckler away in a quasi-hopeless break! Also in the news tide comes in, sun rises, and Paris Hilton still kinda slutty.
It’s a windy day out there today, will Lance be able to gain more time on Alberto today?
106k to go, the break has 3:10.
A couple of Silence guys hit the ditch, obviously pushed over there by Cadel as he remembers yesterday’s TTT performance.
There’s a headwind at the finish, which mean it will be very nice to have a leadout, hmmm, which team has a leadout…
Gesink hits the ditch, is there anyone that look more frail than Gesink? Andy Schleck can kick that guy’s ass.
So will Columbia throw another cross wind hissy fit today? Are they getting enough help?
Looks like Saxo is at the front, Fabian is grunting it out at the front in the cross wind. This is a critical point in the stage, so naturally VS cuts to a bit of tape of guys talking about what is actually happening right now!
And there’s the split, wonder what it looked like? We might know who’s in the split if WE WEREN’T WATCHING SOME STUPID INTERVIEWS!
Echelons develop across the road, so we go to a diagram instead of just looking at the echelons themselves.
Critical time in the race, let’s see what Progressive Insurance has to say about this.
There’s four groups on the road now, they are named: the break, the chasers, the pack, and the damned.
Contador made the move today and is shadowing Lance. Will Saxo keep working? Is it worth their while? All the favorites have seemed to made the move, including VDV, shhhh.
I imagine Saxo will keep this up for a while to see who they can drop, or until the Schlecks shriek and fall over.
45k to go. Astana is working at the front, has a contender been dropped? Nope, Contador is there.
40k to go. Astana is still working, are they trying to screw over Gesink and Boonen? Are they working for Contador in the sprint? Don’t they know Theo Bos isn’t at the Tour this year?
33k to go. The Voeckler break is at :55. Astana and Saxo riding hard to see if anyone drops out. Kloden to start gapping Contador shortly.
26k to go. Gamin working now to get Tyler to the line, something finally making sense. What’s next, Lance talking to Frankie? Oh, wait…
The break still has 39 seconds.
The course may be changing direction again, is it time to try another crosswind move? Lance does his Hog voice and sends Berto back to the team car for "special instructions".
The Boner is back in! How dirty does that sound?
17k to go, and the break has 1:17. Columbia at the front working, desperately wagging their elbows around. The other teams pretend to not notice.
No one helping yet, maybe that’s what happens when you win AND call out the other teams.
Garmin comes up to help now.
12k to go, the break holding at around 1:15, could this be Voeckler’s day? And I’m just noticing the Leif Garret look on that FDJ guy – how did I miss this? I’m kicking myself now.
It’s going to be close at the finish. Agritubel starting to help with the chase, their team director has promised they can have horse with dinner if they win money in the sprint.
7k to go, 1:06, it’ll be tight. Voeckler’s dreams almost coming true. The ones about winning a Tour stage, not the ones about getting caught in school with no clothes on.
Here come the attacks from the break. They might be screwing themselves here. Ignatiev attacks, Voeckler covers.
Pack at 1:03 – not bringing much time back.
5 k to go. Break down to 4.
Tommy Voeckler goes! France was just shaken awake by her nephew. He’s got a gap.
4k to go, the pack is at 47 seconds. France accidentally burps in anticipation.
I think Phil is announcing a stage from 4 years ago.
3 k to go Voeckler holding! Timmer chasing.
2 k to go Voeckler holding out at about 6 seconds
1 k to go!!! France twisting her handkerchief, chokes nephew in anticipation!
Voeckler looking over shoulder to gauge how much he can celebrate. Good for him, it’s not like he doesn’t try. Voeckler to begin weeping in 3…2..1…
Voeckler wins!! France jumps, screams and even pees just a little.
The field comes in just behind him, everyone bunched together. Cav loses on a flat stage. Farrar sadly finishes in trademarked position behind Cav.
Can’t believe it. Surely there are more Iowan Schmalz lovers than just me.
Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi! Titi!
Oh Schmalz, you’re simply slaying me here. I hope you’re not peaking too soon.
I remember when Voeckler was considered the Great Gallic Hope for a Tour winner with his 10 days in yellow in 2004. It was an impressive 10 days. He mounted some impressive attacks in the last kilometers in today’s stage win. It is nice to see that breakaways can survive seemingly unbeatable sprinters and their overpowered trains.
I do almost pity the French since they have a less than zero chance in the next couple of decades of producing a Tour de France GC winner.
awesome stage! i’ve been a voeckler fan ever since watching his heroic battle a few years back. really showed courage & gave it all before imploding–remeber his grimaces of pain? he’s probably the only french person i’m a fan, besides sarkozy’s wife.
usually find him annoyingly over-dramatic when he’s mugging for the camera, but you have to give it up for a stage winner. good for him.
wow. i hope this makes Voeckler go even more breaks in races . Now that his success ratio is 1 for 123.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8m2JyiggwAU
…but what do i know? i’m sitting in a cubicle
what’s the deal? Was VDV calling out Ryder whatever his name is after the ttt yesterday. I kept hearing VDV say 4 of us were working. He better watch it or he might get bit by another spider.
He was pretty borderline nasty to call out Ryder as the guy who was the weakest link to the press. Never mentions the other 4 dudes by name who didnt even make it to the finish! He should have been just showering Ryder with praise for making it, instead of calling him out as weakest.
I think Ryder would’ve admitted he was sitting on to fill out the 5th spot.
the tour’s just a pit stop for him towards the more important nyc roller races.
he knows where his bread is buttered.
Ryder rocks
ryder needs to unpack his suitcase of courage.
i recall one of the ttt when a spanish discovery rider, i think it was nozal but I’m probably wrong, was the only guy to get dropped. once he got to the finish he was balling and crying hysterically- seemed as though lance was going to bludgeon him for getting dropped.
he can climb
Can’t remember the last time someone looked so ugly and unnatural on a bike.
ever won a stage in the tdf while exhibiting your proper form & style? ever won anything for that matter, besides 5th place in your 8th grade home economics brownie bakeoff?
I got pipped at the line in the bake-off. Johnny McDushe baked snickerdoodles and the judges went wild. Thanks, I had that memory properly compartmentalized and now I’m going to have to go back to therapy.
Martha Stewart bakes a smart brownie.
“At the end of the day, you’re only as strong as your fifth rider, so it was critical that we all stayed together and didn’t panic. The person in the most precarious position had to be Ryder Hesjedal, who was in trouble on the climb and had been close to being dropped. He fought tooth and nail, not wanting to let himself, his teammates or Canada down (he’s the lone Canadian at the Tour, and the expectation of his nation’s fans is a heavy load). He pulled through for all of us.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/09/sports/cycling/09diary.html?hp
A lot of stuff gets taken out of context. I doubt there is a legit beef between the two.
Millar’s TTT take:
http://www.slipstreamsports.com/2009/07/08/the-millar-diaries-dispatches-from-the-edge-of-hell
velonews discusses the whole frankie/lance interviews, and in the process, gives a shot out to toto.
http://www.velonews.com/article/94723/
I can’t read what he’s saying, it’s to small and I miss the cheesehead’s quips.
Sorry to go off subject.. but this was the funniest shit I read all season.
” For the other teams, there were 12 that went from A to B with no benefit [for their sponsors], just a couple of flat tyres and extra work for the mechanics.”
Rolf Aldag’s take on the other sprint teams in the tour.
-lee
Getting back to the stage 3 Astana pole,ics. In a nutshell, Lance is as cunning a businessman as he is a cyclist. He wants Alberto for HIS team “Trek/Livestrong” next year. Your not going to kill the Golden Goose, but he (Lance) will want to make a splash to further is Cancer Awareness campaign, which has dobne by nearly gaining yellow. But in the end he will make the French weep with joy as they watch Lance sacrifice himself for the Spanish Prince on the high slopes of Ventoux.
The internecine struggle within the team is a stroke of PR genius/ mind games.
Pure Lance.
The French mini-Jens makes it stick!
at the moment in a Pro-1-2-3 race. He is suffering. He is hanging in there and will suffer more Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I am sure during those stages Contador will take the reins and make Lance one of his reindeers. It is amazing tactics and extremely sharp business acumen but that is the mind of the current Lance Armstrong. So true.
Is it wrong that I get misty when I see Voeckler’s expression when he realizes he held on to the Yellow Jersey one more day back in ’04? …of course maybe the tears were just cuz he’s so friggin painful to watch….but I’ll tip my Giro to him…The Guy is gutsy…(but obviously a sucker for punishment)
agreed, exactly right. been trying to peddle the same story around here and getting few buyers. this is the best armstrong rope-a-dope ever, and the split(tm) was a fluke of luck (w. a little help from your friends) that played right into the script. have alberto sulk for the cameras. (armstrong never faked anything on camera, right?) have lance say, i’ve won 7 tours, give me some respect. report that berto didnt hug lance after TTT. then, have lance turn himself inside out (he’ll get destroyed in the mtns anyhow) and the world’s greatest passion play will be complete and yes – france will adore him. it is genius.
I don’t buy into the “Lance is a genius” theories. He seems to be a very reactionary guy (and in a very vindictive way), I thinks his schemes come off as very transparent. And as far as being a savvy businessman goes, if you can’t make money off a life story like his, you aren’t trying – or you aren’t willing to exploit yourself.
Clearly he’s no “genius,” but an ex-teammate of his from the National Team told me more than once that he’s pretty smart. Uneducated… but smart. This ex-teammate of his is now tenured faculty at a major university, so you can imagine he himself has got some brains.
If you think Lance will put his ego aside and ride for Berto you are crazy. Friday I am 100% positive he will be racing for the Yellow and against Berto. Now if he gets dropped and looses big time things will change and he will be hunting for stage wins. Until Friday is over I strongly believe that he is in it to win it. He does not give a shit about the French media. Also, the casual Lance crazy fan wont understand how he worked for Berto to win the Tour. They only understand that he won after coming back again.
That would be awesome.
It really wouldn’t be hugely complicated to do something like that, and it wouldn’t take a “genius” to conceive of a plan like it. Everyone was already talking about how there would be a conflict.
Oh yeah, Lance is going to get stone dropped in the mountains. You guys are too much. Can I get some stock tips, too, so I can bet against them?
everything’s transparent is retrospect. notice how many more experts on the subprime crisis/financial meltdown materialized afterwards? if only those people spoke up beforehand, eh? talk about transparent schemes!
i say lance works for berto and is not in contention for yellow. you say 100% impossible. put your money where your mouth is, mortimer. the usual wager?
8:29 is spot on.
Truths for Lance:
1. He doesnt work for anyone – esp some Spaniard with a cry-baby attitude who he doesnt really respect deeply – witness his public comments about still having a lot to learn even after repeat major tour wins. Lance may like Alberto personally, but he wont work for him outright unless it also works for him somehow.
2. Alberto wont work for Lance next year unless Lance works for him clearly and fully this Tour – so watch and conclude from what happens.
3. Lance wants to win. Anyone who questions that and thinks he’s just BSing is full of BS!
4. If he cant win, he will go for stages – the only other way to get press.
5. He CLEARLY doesnt care about Frances opinion of him, and isnt working for set up some drama to get France to love him. If they do, its merely a side effect.
6. The tension with AC is real, and for good reasons. Look at Horner as proof of that in spades. Also look at Contadors reaction to the Split day.
7. The only rope-a-dope is Lances insistance that he is a long shot, which he may in fact be. You dont really have to bluff if you really arent strong enough! If you are, then you still dont really have to bluff this year because many/most wouldnt believe you are to begin with. Its the year where he gets a free pass from bluffs in general.
you’re an LA shill. my bet stands. pony up or shut up.
Jeez, Schmalz… when do we get to gamble on this site? Maybe it’s time to move the operation to the Caymans…
Well, it would be all prop bets – like how many motos will Cadel throw his water bottle at? And how many will he actually hit?
all i know is if someone offers me a rain bet for tues evenings this summer, im taking it
Did anyone else notice that it appears as though Ben Stiller is taking hair styling tips from Pellizotti and Pozzato?!
Still was visably pissed off the day Fabian held the Jersey over lance by less than 1 second. He was like… who is this swiss guy. I flew over here to give Lance the yellow jersey.