This week, I am reviewing the Rock and Republic team kit; but before I do, I feel I have to disclose some things about myself that may have an effect on my ability to review the aforementioned kit.

 

I do not rock, nor do I any longer aspire to rock. 

 

After years of struggles, ill-advised haircuts, and hours wasted trying to pretend that I enjoyed Sonic Youth, I have come to a realization – that I do not have the mindset nor the ability to rock. It’s been a liberating revelation really. I no longer have to worry whether my ensembles stand up to the scrutiny of the crowd that rocks. I can now shop at Sears to save money rather than feeling compelled to concoct some ironic story about buying a shirt there because it happened to unintentionally fall within the latest arbitrary trend. In fact, I may buy some bib overalls there soon, not to try and hook onto some nuevo-rave, agriculture-sheik thing (it’s coming, trust me), but because I like the fact that I can potentially put a pen and pad in the chest pocket, a good-sized sandwich in the back pocket and sling a hammer in the hammer loop – in case I need to smack away at any vermin that invade my home. 

 

I am no longer afraid of skulls. 

 

In years past, skulls were used by certain groups to instill fear into whoever they were trying to terrify, lay siege to or unnerve. Pirates, biker gangs, Oakland Raiders fans, Hamlet and secret societies at Yale University have all used skulls to great effect, but sadly these days are over. In the good old days, the sight of biker approaching in a skull festooned leather vest meant that you were either in for a world-class beating or were about to purchase some meth cooked in the bathtub of a dirty mobile home, but nowadays, those bikers are more likely to be a rogue actuary out for a weekend ride, or a local Rotarian soliciting donations for their Christmas toy drive. The skull has indeed, fell upon sad days. In fact, it has joined the following in the category of  “no longer scary”: tattoos, piercings, rap music, chopper motorcycles, punk rockers and the Oakland Raiders. There are a few people still intimidated by these things, but they are located in a remote corner of Utah, but you better get there quick – as they will be getting cable soon.

 

Now that we have my disclosure out of the way, we can get to the review of the Rock and Rep

ublic kit. The design of the kit is stunning, not necessarily stunning in a “stunningly beautiful” way; but stunning in a “dear God, there’s a fluorescent green target on my gender bits!” way. If you don’t mind drawing extra attention to your baby production toolkit, then you won’t feel the least bit intimidated by leaving the house dressed in the Rock and Republic kit. But if you are like me and occasionally (well, at least when sober) feel a little awkward displaying your “green monster” in public, this kit’s look may be a bit too aggressive for you.

 

First try.

 

As I slid on the bib shorts, I was transported to a world of sensual lycra delights. Well, nothing that creepy sounding, but the lycra on the bibs has a nice silky feel and it is just the right amount of tight. Not restricting, but at the same time tight enough to give the feel of some compression going on. The chamois is well shaped and comfortable upon first contact between saddle and the “between-weasels wonderland”. I like to save final judgement on any chamois until it’s been used for a long time, and for that I would have to put some serious miles on this one to be able to judge accurately. That may not be possible – see “green monster” reference from above. The stitching on the clothing is fantastic, and there seems to be no stitches out of place anywhere. The shorts also have an extra length of fabric past the leg gripper to make the shorts longer. I’m guessing this anticipates that cycling short length, like hem length on dresses and skirts, will be an area of constant flux in the future, and will be dictated by fashionistas from season to season. This year short is the new mid-length, so don’t be caught dead in anything within 1/2″ of the kneecap. 

 

There’s one thing I will say about Mr. Ball – the man knows how to cut a pattern. The jersey and shorts fit well without bunching or being too tight in areas where tightness is a drawback (“bunched schmalz bits” just let your mind meander on that one – thank me later). The sleeves use the tightness and quality of the lycra to hold the cuff onto your arms instead of adding a lot of extra elastic to make the cuffs tight. This means that you won’t have to cut the elastic off your jerseys to make them comfortable with this jersey. Of course this will look less pro, but you won’t be mangling your kit and the sponsor’s name that got placed along the cuff won’t end up in your trash can. This is good sponsor relations. The kit (much like the Rock and Republic jeans I suspect) is cut for leaner racer types. Which is good for me as I’ve always has lots of extra fabric on the midsection of jerseys in the past. The jersey zipper is very nice and smooth has enough spare teeth to pick up the dental slack for an English village. The zipper also has a pull with the R&R logo on it – presumably to remind the zipper teeth to rock as they are mashed together by the pull.

 

Time for hate

 

These are very well built cycling clothes, and they would have to be as the kit sells for about $440 for a jersey and shorts.

 

Where does this leave us?

 

If you want a very well built set of cycling clothes, have $440 you can part with and have the moxie to wear a set of clothes that says both “I rock” and perhaps “at the end of the day – it’s all about rocking” – then this is the kit for you.