Brian’s weekly duration is down this week due to work obligations, snowy doom from the New Jersey skies and forays into the neighborhood for autumnal holiday hand outs. We are still basically in a holding pattern bikes-wise until he finishes his marathon aspirations.

Tuesday, October 25

Gatens Watch the first episode of ‘Breaking Bad’ while on the treadmill but between the pumping electronica, Apple earbuds that refused to stay in my petite ears and the iPhone sliding off the treadmill it was futile.

Nothing today as I was on the road. Tomorrow looks to be more of the 20/10’s that you prescribe.

schmalz I think that might be AMC’s way of telling you that running is bad. Did you actually run at all? I (ugh) need to record that time…

Gatens Yep, ran for a full hour. It was a pretty strenuous effort. Frustration breeds speed.

schmalz Did you do that this morning?

Gatens Monday

schmalz Well, that’s no help.

Wednesday, October 26

Gatens 1.5 hours on the rollers tonight. I didn’t do this 20/10’s but instead put in a serious long cardio effort. From 1-5 it was a 3.5-4. A solid hard effort. I needed something like that since I’ve been feeling sluggish since the marathon.

I’m all caught up with ‘The Walking Dead’. Whoa.

schmalz 1.5 is long, how do you fall asleep after a workout at night? I find it difficult, especially if I’m going to have zombie nightmares.

Gatens If I get in too late to train in the AM I set myself up a good night workout. Work all day, home at 5:00 – 5:30, 25 minute powernap, care for the kids (cook dinner/do homework, etc.) and after they settle down I either ride or run for 1 – 1.5 hours, shower up and chill out to about 10:30 or so.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be up at 4:30 to hit the 5 AM Functional Fit Class. Head to work after and then (hopefully) go to bed early tomorrow night.

Friday morning I’ll run 7 miles and hopefully get a 3 hr. bike ride in on Saturday AM.

You know, easy stuff.

schlego™ duration 1:30

Thursday October 27

Gatens One hour rise this AM. Lots of core and upper body with some lunges and plyometrics. It would have pleased your desire for explosiveness.

schmalz Oops, wrong email (or is it?). Ha! Mind games!

Gatens Our contract clearly states no mind games before 10 AM. It’s in there right next to my supplying of you with groceries twice a week.

schmalz I don’t recall clicking "agree" to that portion of the contract. Why in God’s name would anyone meet up for a class at 5 am? I’m coming over there with a big net and putting you all back in bed.

Gatens I’ll use my amazing functional fitness skills to evade capture. You could bounce a Sherman Tank off my core. Thinking of a longish ride on Saturday. Leave at 8:30 and go for 2 hours or so. Work for you?

schmalz Saturday is supposed to be rainy and also happens to be my daughter’s birthday. Sunday fits my lifecoach’s schedule better.

Gatens I can do Sunday but have to be home by 9 AM. Will you have shaken off your princess cake hangover by then?

schmalz Yup, perhaps a 6:30 start?

Gatens Definitely….6:30 AM on Sunday morning in front of Bagelicious. My plan is to half-wheel you into the ground. Have you noticed too how silent Kornbluh is this week? Typical…early attack and then a long fade.

Kornbluh I’m driving. In Nebraska. It’s boring. 

Thinking about riding, though, so I’m currently training my mental toughness. Might get in a full hour of visualization after lunch today. 

Oh, I am going for a run tonight, followed by a post-workout 72oz ribeye.

Looking around it’s no wonder Schmalz moved away. (Following portion of exchange removed to ensure Brian’s further employment)

schmalz Nebraska is to Iowa as Scranton is to Paris. Sheep are very empathetic animals.

Kornbluh Please. Anything west of Philly is awful. It’s all the same brand of cornfed awful. However, the riding out here looks nice if you like slow, gentle rises.

schmalz reply deleted

Gatens And I like Scranton – it’s the Electric City

Kornbluh Just passed a town named Wahoo. False advertising at it’s finest. 

Gatens I stayed in Grand Isle once. It was neither. So we’re going to edit out all references to (deleted), right?

schmalz How do you expect me to carry on a conversation?

Gatens Breaking (unemployed) Brian

schmalz Jed started it

Kornbluh Replace "*****" with "******". Also, replace "******" with "******"

Gatens Where’s that resume.

schmalz How do I unsubscribe from Jed?

Gatens Lotta penicillin. 

Kornbluh You can’t. I’m in your head, like "Byyyy Mennen"

Gatens I had Rock Lobster in my head all day. Ugh.

schlego™ duration Fitness Class 1:00?

Saturday, October 29

Gatens All’s quiet in the house. Roller riding time dependent upon the wake up schedules of the family. Could be 15 minutes, could be 2 hours. Tomorrow morning should be delightful riding conditions.

schmalz Forecast calls for 28 degrees, that should satisfy your need for self-flagellation.

Gatens Might wear tights, but probably not. Hopefully it’ll be raining.

schmalz This ride shall be an interesting contrast in the manner in which we regard one another on bikes. I will write one version, you might write another entirely.

Gatens I don’t write. I spew.

So I’ve run through entire Directv channel listing and my choices are limited at best. I don’t want a ‘Brazilian Butt’ or ‘Smooth Skin in 90 Days’ so I’m watching ‘Phineas and Ferb’ on the Disney Channel.

What I need is to get one of the wee beasties on the treadmill next to me to justify my tv viewing choice.

Gatens Wrapping up 2 hrs on the rollers, threw in some 5:00 minute hard intervals in there for fun. Only three of them though.

Switched from P&F to my recording of the Giro di Lombardia and then to ‘Wanted’ with Angelina Jolie. Those super assassins know how to dress.

Looks like the rollers tomorrow. wow…

schmalz Yes, Prudence would dictate rollers. Prudence is such a wimp.

Gatens And there goes our power. 

schmalz Hook up generator to the trainer? We still have power if you need somewhere to go.

Gatens Thanks. We can always eat one of the kids if necessary, right?

schmalz That’s PSE&G’s recommendation, yes.

Gatens If that’s the case, can you begin to refer to me as ‘The Cannibal’ or will that cause Merckx to come to my house and kill me?

schmalz Nice try Donkey Sloth.

Gatens Shoot! I thought that snowmaggedon would distract you. 

schmalz No more emailing, Floyd of Rosedale time.

schlego™ duration 2:00

Monday, October 31

Gatens Sunday – nothing. I had more important things to worry about than bicycle racing. Food, warm house, getting to the Giants game, etc. 

Monday – 1 hour rollers. Nothing more to report. Tonight I’ll do ‘Halloween Intervals’ as my kids and I will sprint from house to house in search of as much candy as possible. 

Sweet tarts! Why can’t I quit you!?

schmalz Ugh, Sweet Tarts, do you have to make even Halloween candy torturous? Sweet Tarts are the Andreas Kloden of candy.

Gatens Dear Lord please don’t tell me that you like Jujubees or, even worse, Mike and Ike’s. 

schmalz Do you get all your candy from the sadness aisle? 

Gatens Sweet tarts are an American institution. I expected more from a son of Iowa. What are you dressing up as today? A big Godiva chocolate bar? 

schmalz I’m from Iowa, not Latvia; Sweet Tarts are the candy equivalent of probation.

Gatens Don’t anger the Latvian demographic. They follow cycling like no one else. Viva la Sweet Tarts!

schlego™ duration 1:00

schlego™ week duration 5:30