Breaking Brian entry 4

Toiled up

This is the week after Brian’s first of three consecutive months with a marathon in it. This week should be an opportunity for him to relax, reassemble his knees and most importantly, stop running. This didn’t happen, of course, as this is Brian we are talking about. Mr. Gatens trains as if he’s the protagonist from the movie "Memento". He wakes up, checks his chest for tattoo messages and then seeks out the most toilsome activity available.

Tuesday October 11

Gatens The day after the day after is always the worst. If time allows I may ride easy tonight just to stretch my legs a bit.

schmalz Yeah, I would suggest to rest as much as possible, did you use any cold water?

Gatens Yes to the cold water thing. That was just a barrel of laughs. I’ll be sure to order the bed of nails that you’ll want me sleeping on soon enough.

schmalz Did you do a cold water bath or just a shower?

Gatens Shower. It was post marathon so sitting in a tub may have necessitated an EMS response. 

schmalz Dear God you’re soft.

Gatens If we lived in Belgium, I’d be chased through the streets with pitchforks and torches. 

schmalz Why does everything with you involve running?

Gatens Wow, you really peek into my soul. I should really send you a co-pay. 

schmalz Why don’t you "run" to the bank and pick it up?

Gatens Anyhoo, I’m thinking an hour on so on the bike tonight after the wee beasties go to bed. Nothing crazy. Just ride to work out the stiff legged soreness that always make me regret having a stand up desk. 

schmalz I shall allow it. Good talk.

Gatens On bike now, Directv is not working so it’s me, my iPhone and the four walls that are slowly closing in around me. 

May. Not. Survive. 

Ended up doing 45 minutes and then I was dragged away by the need to complete homework. We had pictures of the lungs to color.

schmalz That’s good, the lungs are the chimney to mightiness. Try to outcolor everyone else.

Gatens I may be a Cat 4 racer, but I’m easily a Cat 1 colorer…if only I could STAY INSIDE THE LINES!!!

schmalz Also known as holdja lines?

Gatens Speaking of Holding One’s Line…do you have any idea how hard it is to use and iPad and pedal a bicycle on the rollers? Meg was on the treadmill next to me and several times I almost rocketed myself into her. Now that would be an interesting conversation in the ER.

schlego™ duration :45

Thursday, October 13

Gatens Ran 6.5 miles this AM in 1:02. I made it a point to think about bicycle riding.

schmalz No you didn’t.

Gatens Ok, you got me.

What I was actually thought about was how my worst stand alone marathon performance happened exactly two weeks after we began this ‘coaching’. At this rate I’ll be knocking out Rehoboth (Just west of Winterfell and north of King’s Landing) in about 9 hours.

Gatens Thanks for nothing.

schmalz Becoming bad at marathons is the first step to becoming a cat three.You’re welcome.

Gatens I just noted that you cc’d me on a long group ride this Sunday. Is that your passive aggressive way to get me to ride long on Sunday?

schmalz No, or do I mean yes?

Gatens Mind games…You’re like Herb Brooks without talent.

schmalz Am I?

Gatens Can someone get Scot Willingham on the phone for me? Oh, and by the way, I got some hate mail from a local team that I disparaged in an earlier email. So if anyone out there from Foundation is still upset with my comments I just want to say that Andy Shen hates you.

schmalz This is just too easy. I’m four moves ahead by now. (I win the game when you end up wearing kit to funerals.)

Gatens With your coaching skills it’ll probably be mine.

schmalz You can’t outrun fate.

Gatens But I can outrun you and right now that’s good enough.

Not to get away from your questioning my life expectancy, any suggestions on what I should do tomorrow. I was thinking a nice hour on the rollers. I heard that Anthony Bourdain is broadcasting live from Kabul.

schmalz Are you recovered from your marathon thing?

Gatens Kinda

schmalz Roll lightly, you can punish yourself next week.

Gatens Ok, I might do what you say. 

schlego™ duration 1:42

Friday, October 14

Gatens 1 hour this AM, nothing else to share. Nada, Zilch. Bupkus.

schmalz Duly noted.

Gatens Glad we had this little talk.

schlego™ duration 1:00

Saturday, October 15

Gatens Taking a functional fitness class today. It’ll be about an hour of high intensity stuff. Core/cardio/etc. I’m looking forward to it as steady cardio is boring.

I’m a no go for the ride tomorrow, but I’ll be on the rollers for about an hour and a half though.

schmalz Ok, don’t forget your terry cloth head band.

Gatens Class done. They say that cycling is a humbling sport (yet it attracts some of the most non-humble people ever. Go figure) but nothing is quite as ego-slaying as being absolutely crushed during a suburban fitness class by folks who look more comfortable picking up the remote than picking up a kettlebell.

I wrapped up the class by running about 40 minutes to pick up my car from the tire shop. And no I didn’t get tubulars….hah!….get it….tubulars.

schmalz You got owned by a jazzercise class?

Gatens Completely shelled, owned, beaten…Shockingly enough I was asked to actually use the muscle found above my waistline. They had the nerve to ask me to take these weighted objects, hold them in my hands and hold them over my head for an extended period of time. Then we were told to lay on our backs, hold our legs up in the air and scissor kick them…again and again and again. Now I know what it feels like to be a Navy Seal…without the sand, guns and short haircut.

That just goes to show how un-beneficial those classes are to racers, you guys probably "had fun" and "socialized".

I couldn’t speak as I was worried about vomiting on someone.

schlego™ duration 1:42

Sunday, October 16

Gatens 1.5 hours on the rollers. Watched the New York Football Giants win and then switched over to The Walking Dead marathon.

I’ll let you insert the obligatory marathon joke here.

schlego™ duration 1:30

Monday, October 17

Gatens Watched more ‘The Walking Dead’. One of those tv shows that makes roller riding extra tolerable.

Today’s the start of a long one at work. Being that I’ll be home pretty late tonight, combined with an early start, the chances of a ride tomorrow AM are kinda shaky.

Yet, hit me with what you think, Yoda.

schmalz Hmm, I guess I should keep track of these hours…

Gatens I wouldn’t worry about it. I think our real goal is to see how little we can actually do that is coachy and still accomplish cat 3-ness.

schlego™ week duration 6:39 

6 Comments

Lenny Bushing

What a fucking crock?!

Why don’t they test for alcohol? Total bullshit, how could it help you? It HINDERS performance!

Comments are closed.