As the Toto Turns 230

by Andy Shen

60 Minutes

 (Originally from 5/24/11)

60 Minutes, with thanks to @TheHuttinator

57 Comments

Matteo Dropout

…that 60 minutes = hours of fun for the whole family…

…with love & a ticking time bomb, bgw…

Matteo Dropout

…not to hide in the back of the bus…dude got out a town before “i federali” showed up…

…”Sì, vorremmo cercare l’autobus, ma ci piacerebbe anche parlare con signore Bruyneel”…
…(“yes, we’d like to search the bus but we’d also like to talk to mister bruyneel”) …

…with tough love, bgw…

West Coast Reader

I found the Hog! (in the pic)

He’s off to easier pastures to pay off in Madrid, he’ll be safe as long as he doesn’t rat our Contador, if he does he’ll be moving his family to Belgium.

liquiguts

Lance is the most Toto’d athlete in history. He’s been Toto’d more than 500 times, and here again, in Toto 230. However, most Toto’d movie appears to be “the Conversation.”

liquiguts

By my calculations, Lance would have had to have been drug tested almost every ten days as a professional to reach 500. It’s amazing he even had time to train between the testing, and the showering that proceeded them, and the fixing which followed on them.

Edgar Allan Poe

TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad?

po boy

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
Tyler?, This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word,
“Tyler!” Merely this, and nothing more.

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the Flandis, whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lunchbag gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Dong Work For Yuda

This is a good one.

Wherever Hog is, he’s high as a fucking kite with all the drugs he absconded with from the Giro.

Que Rush: Fly by night away from here…..

Armando Headset

Best one in a while!!!

Question: Does the Livingston put “The Dropper” in it’s masters mouth?

Monorchid Conconi

We can’t be sure of who the villains are, because everyone’s so pretty. But the afterparty is sure to be a wingding as it moves into your city.

Edgar Allen Busted

I love the argument that Tyler has no credibility because he lied in the past, but now he is saying exactly the opposite thing and he’s still a liar. Btw, nice one po boy!

excitable

ea moron. He hurt his credibility by lying in the past. He does it further damage by telling his story to 60 minutes before his book comes out, rather than just to a grand jury.

Matteo Dropout

…think i’ll use those in a rotating sequence as ringtones for my phone…

…every call offers “the word of lance” to remind me that there is a god…at least in cycling…

…with ringing in my ears, love, bgw…

.harlem youth

good one Shen! “whats that ticking?”
That there is the makings of a toto classic.

Tyler certainly looked like a freak up there on 60. The darting eyes and the awkward silences, just made things more uncomfortable watching him spill it out. I tell ya, it was sad to see him almost break down and catch himself when describing his feelings at that one point. Then I think about the money he took and things come into perspective. I noticed that question didnt get raised on 60.

Most compelling sound bite – Frankie Andreu and that guy commenting about the lab meeting.

Jonas Seattube

That’s the worst part. Right now only two known have come right out and accused Lance of doping. So it is hard to believe them. Same thing for those allegations that a sample from 1999 that test positive for EPO many years later was one belonging to Lance. Hard to believe since the sample only has a number and we have seen some of those labs are pretty lousy at keeping records. I’m pretty sure LA was/is a doper, but the proof against him right now is not very good.

Romain Hammer

“Right now only two known have come right out and accused Lance of doping.”

Say what?

I assume you mean Tyler and Floyd…

Frankie Andreu rode w/Lance and gave him up long ago. Not in the context of selling a book or being accused, but during a civil deposition in which they (he and his wife, Betsy) were required to appear as witnesses. That doesn’t begin to include some of Lance’s non-riding support.

We are getting the juicy bits that make good media. The boring tracking of drug shipments, test data matching and FedEx receipts is being pounded out by office drones right now.

Romain Hammer

Let’s say all these old samples of Lance’s piss are laying around, awash in EPO, from before effective testing was available. They should have plenty of identifiable DNA in there with Lance’s pee-pee. It seems to me that it is not going to be all that hard to show the samples were Lance’s.

West Coast Reader

So Joe-Han is MIA. Snuck out of his Giro hotel room and hasn’t been seen since. Not even a tweet.

Oh where, oh where can Joe-Han be?

Noah Sealant

Wow, Chapeau to you my friend. Loved the reference to the movie. You must be as old as I am, I was a young teen when I first saw it. Hope you young wiper-snappers get a chance to watch it.

mikeweb

Those are both hilarious. For the second one I would’ve gone with the ‘and a white lunch bag for you!!’ line instead though.

Robin Brakepad

Lance: “Oprah, I have made mistakes in my life. I am not going to go into all of the details but I will tell you I have made mistakes and I want to apologize to all of those who were hurt by my mistakes.”

Oprah: “This is stunning Lance. I want our listener to know how hard this must be for you to admit you are no perfect and ask that listener to forgive you.”

Lance: “Thank you” (eyes welling due to smelling salts in front shirt pocket).

Remi Fork

Who is a greater fraud, Lance or Oprah? Or Smallie and Andie? For feigning outrage and interest for the sake of perpetuating the clicks? Real cyclists dont follow this any more and definately dont support advertisers, do they?

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