As the Toto Turns 130 April Fool’s

by Andy Shen

Don’t drunk dial the boss

i will buy this crappy site for a nickel just to shut it down

38 Comments

Anonymous

I love the rocket on Lance’s head. Levi five feet tall, if that.

Lance: Now that have broken my collarbone, in 4 places, I am no longer in the media spotlight. Schmalz can I do that interview now? I promise to take my medication for the tourettes, F*ck! Whore! Bitch!

Anonymous

i keep forwarding the link to Bruyneel on my facebook, but he won’t defriend me. you guys will have to try harder, if that is even possible.

Anonymous

you guys are mean………..and we love you for it
hey where my HAM I kinda miss my HAM SALVATORE
cheers
MQ

Anonymous

a list of pro riders who got busted doping? Big names from the 80’s and on ward…
I am looking for about 20-30 names…How easy we forget the names

– Richard Virenque
– Tyler Hamilton
– Rasmussen
– Ivan Basso
– Ricco
– Jan Ullrich
…..

Anonymous

Yeah, anybody know the deal with Tyler’s rumored positive?
Someone must know something?
If this was France, the info would have been leaked months ago!

Anonymous

i think it was just a wise-acre comment on the guy’s blog, putting together Hamilton’s withdrawal from Castilla Leon and the generally accepted theory of doping-relativity, which says that “flu-like symptoms” = failure to flush properly. Nothing to back it up, nothing but snark. But an unwise thing for a corporate site, as opposed to a fan site or a forum, because it makes it look like the corporation/company is behind things.

Whereas fan sites or forums generally firewall the vitriol from the owners.

Anonymous

The Tyler rumor was baseless. For all I know, he could be dirty still, but that rumor floating around last week was pure speculation.

Anonymous

Contador’s comment “No I imagine that YOU’RE somewhere else” is very funny but
while he might think it, he would never ever say this to Lance.
The comment fails to account for Lance’s totally intimidating power over the team and
the peloton.

Anonymous

would be the shorter list…
Hampsten

as for the rest, lets wait for their deathbed memoirs, “Ma veritee”…
Fignon
Delgado, Reynolds
Indurain, Banesto
Chiapucci showed how a donkey can be a thoroughbred with meds…from there on out, a few Dutch guinea pigs sleep and no wake up…PDM, Gewiss, TVM, Festina, Motorola, LeGroupement, Castorama, Kelme, Deustch Telekom, Coors Light, any Gaggioli race, any Superweek race, please wake the f… UP!
let. it. go.

Anonymous

Its not Lance, but Johan…from the backrooms, but with Lance down and not showing any winning form, it will be a free for all, wolf-pack, Conti and Levi are not strong enough to dominate…

Caisse d’Epargne (Reynolds/Banseto/etc) will win the TOUR (AGAIN)!!!!!

Anonymous

This week’s cartoon is very unrealistic. Contador would never say that, and i don’t they would really drunk dial him like that, and i’m sure Lance has cleaned the grass out of his ear by now. Who does your fact checking for you?

Anonymous

Gert Jan Theunisse. He got caught at the Tour de France and I think his punishment was 30-seconds added to his GC time.

Anonymous

is toto supposed to be realistic? for serious. its comedy. but for your satisfaction here is how the serious toto would go.
Lance: Dude, I suck this year. I guess this comeback was a bad idea.
Weevi & Conta: Yeah…
Lance: I better stop before they find my stash.
Levi: You’re actually not that big of a threat to us.
Conta: Seriously, we’ve had results this year you can only dream of.
Levi: Sucks for you, you should just leave and go back to dating women half your age.
Conta: Yeah, you should talk to Tomekke, he could set you up.
Lance: But what about battling cancer?
Levi: Alright thats enough.
Conta: No, don’t tell him.
Levi: Lance, you were cured of cancer back in 1998.
Lance: shit… what have I been twittering about then?

Anonymous

Geronimo got 10 min after + for Testo, Rooks, cross eyed, said he give Delgado the jersey if won by default…Pereiro???
(pause to slam the rest of my Heineken, reloading)
go ask Kimmage for the list…see watts longer? doped/clean riders…
(these Bicycling/Festina beer glasses are so right on, bra…)
and finally there was a street sweeper pooper scooper in CP today so good luck in the points race!

Prensky?
Lisban?
Who is in town from Imperialists Darkside Team?
Adler?
Pacifico???

Anonymous

i suspect messrs shen and schmalz are bound up in one of lance’s shoulder slings, while he thumbs away at the keyboard

Anonymous

down at the bottom of page: Fignon admits openly he doped and would do anything to win no matter what the consequence where. “he said its my body and I’ll deal with whatever happens” Read the article in Cycle sport mag from a while back.

PERSONAL TRAINER/
USA CYCLING COACH
http://www.vo2maxout.com

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