first first first, dem not first
love it A TOTO addition on Monday night.
But what will I read on Tuesday morning Andy?????????
oh yeah brilliant
Cheers
MQ
Anonymous
Awesome. Fucking awesome.
Anonymous
tuggie!!
Anonymous
Johan probably now logs on every 10 min
btw- fucking brilliant addition this week
Anonymous
why does lance’s collarbone like cancer so much? He’ll never cure it now.
Anonymous
In one edition, Andy manages to get in a triple threat. Collarbones, a pathological aversions to certain unpleasant names and a Tugboat reference (where exactly is Tyler?), all before Monday night!. Anyone who bets he can’t keep getting better is barking up the wrong tree. Here Tuggie!
Andy
Don’t forget, Dan writes this crap with me. Praise Dan or he’ll be gassy all day.
Anonymous
lite again
Anonymous
Armstrong is gonna have to get his domestiques to do the self-aggrandizing for now.
Anonymous
I guess there won’t be a Lance interview anytime soon. Most of the time Toto goes right over my head but this is great stuff.
schmalz
But it would be fun to get one, wouldn’t it?
Anonymous
Tugboat can set a collarbone
Anonymous
I had a great ride this morning, a bit chilly…
Anonymous
thanks for letting us know
Anonymous
We need a “deconstructing Toto” message board here so that people who understand this (I was unfortunately educated by the NY City public school system). Mayeb a 900 number like for the New York Times crossword puzzle where you call in and for $1.40 you get a hint.
Anonymous
all time, awesome job guys.
Anonymous
Did Contador pull a Cinzano on El Tejano? Or did French doping officials cut Samson’s hair? What say you, Dan*?
*(Contractural mention of Dan)
Anonymous
who is this dan
schmalz
Berto couldn’t have done a Cinzano, as he is incapable of growing that sort of Vande Veldian facial hair.
Anonymous
Leonard Lowe had encephalitis lethargica, not Tourette’s. He wanted to hear Rilke’s Panther poem, not cuss. You are like Obama making fun of Special Olympics bowlers.
Trying to figure out the Tourette’s trigger here. Is it he bet? Not up on the subtle references, though I did get the one to the “goofy” feelings!
Anonymous
i love when greg shows up at the most inopportune times
Anonymous
U.S. Grant shows up in the headline banners 😉
schmalz
To watch the banners carefully
Anonymous
you people are so goofy and so is your comic
Anonymous
are part of the velocitynation hierarchy…
Top of the food chain – Interview
second – Being called a sandbagger repeatedly
third – Having your own banner
fourth – being referenced openly as being dangerous
fifth – oblique anonymous references to your riding skills
sixth – being named Dan
Anonymous
Schmalz: I am here with Lance Armstrong. 7X winner of the Tour DAY France. As you know Lance is on a comeback but has tragically broken his collarbone keeping him from training for a few days.
Schmalz: Lance, welcome to NY Velocity. We are a website dedicated tot he bike racing scene here in the New York metro area. How does it feel to be back racing in Europe?
Lance: Thanks Dan. It feels good. Lets talk about Toto….
Ok Schamlz… I got you started. Time to fill in the blanks… does it go from good to bad? or does he blast you for the most recent Toto..
Anonymous
where do ham/pork products sit on the hierarchy?
schmalz
I would have to think that Lance might say I’m not worth the pixels I’m sitting on?
Anonymous
You think any of those “Puerto Blood bags” Have any “footballers” and tennis players?
i am guessing that much bigger bucks in those sports than cycling in general; more people have more $ to lose, so the dust quietly gets swept under the rug.
for example, look in our own backyard: no comment from steinbrenner on his $250mm investment in a-rod’s shenanigans…
–cynical guy
Anonymous
Awesome Toto…they are getting better.
Who is college?
Anonymous
It’s time to discard the Toto name and change to
As the Lance Turns.
Anonymous
John Korioth
Anonymous
who’s crashstrong’s gal pal pictured in the background?
Anonymous
Isn’t that his ex wife? At least he is out of the tabloids! Big mistake dumping Sheryl Crow. She was my fave.
Anonymous
That is (I think) Lance’s new “Baby mama” Lance has a 4th kid coming in May. Most likely during the Giro.
What were Lance’s logistics coordinators thinking?
Clearly Lance has fallen off the deep end. A broken collar bone? A baby born out of wedlock AND during the Giro D’Italia?
He doesn’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl!
How can he plan prenatal guitar lessons for “Junior” with Pete Yorn or acting lessons for “Daddy’s little girl” with ashley & Mary Kate?
Lance – I don’t even know who you are anymore!!!
Sheryl C.
Anonymous
come on sheryl, you know every day is a winding road.
Anonymous
“Trying to figure out the Tourette’s trigger here. Is it he bet? Not up on the subtle references, though I did get the one to the “goofy” feelings!”
Typical stupid stereotyping of what Tourette’s is – very rarely involves vocal outbursts of profanity. Try on a neurological disorder for size some time before you perpetuate such ignorant and hurtful stereotyping in your satire of something unrelated
Anonymous
Lighten up Francis.
Anonymous
for leaving:
‘Having your own Captcha’
off the hierarchy….
It actually sits at 6th with ‘Being named Dan’ pushed to 7th.
At least once a year I get tested but now, with the blood tests we do, I always get the test, and my tumour test is like a pregnancy test so we just add that into the bloodwork. In the last five years I’ve been tested about 3-4 times a year.
Do you still get anxious before each test?
It becomes less intense each time. I think I’d only worry beforehand if I felt some sign. And then about a year ago I had vertigo. Have you ever had it? It’s weird. I lay in bed and the whole room was spinning and I felt really bad. Vertigo can really mess with you. So I went to the doctor for my blood work and I had to wait a day … so that was difficult. I felt weak and vulnerable. I felt something was wrong.
Anonymous
That WSJ article is silly. Basically says: ASO is not selling. Armstrong is not buying. Yet I had to write an article so here…
We get better journalism here at NYVelocity.
Don’t even get me started that the title is: Lance’s Plan for France (emphasis on Lance) then proceeds to refer Mr. Armstrong in the article.
Who are these iDots and why are they writing about cycling? iDots
Anonymous
“Who are these iDots and why are they writing about cycling?”
His name is Reed Albergotti, it’s at the top of the article. He rides for Adler.
Anonymous
jesus angle…
lol!
Comments are closed.
Recent Comments
Matty McNatty { Imagine if circa 2010 Netflix could have done one of these docudramas on the CRCA scene in those days? Greg Olsen, Colin Prensky, and that... }
{ Great Stuff Dan!!! }
pommespommes { Glad your back to blogging. I wish there was more race reporting/news in the NYC area (other than f*cebook) from both 1st and 3rd person.... }
{ You “gifted” the field the first race of the year. Eddy isn’t pleased. }
Benzina { Schmalz is back. Life is better, somehow. }
schmalz { There's no dignity in amateur bike racing }
I like that
baby during ‘Awakenings’
Is Johan reading this?
first first first, dem not first
love it A TOTO addition on Monday night.
But what will I read on Tuesday morning Andy?????????
oh yeah brilliant
Cheers
MQ
Awesome. Fucking awesome.
tuggie!!
Johan probably now logs on every 10 min
btw- fucking brilliant addition this week
why does lance’s collarbone like cancer so much? He’ll never cure it now.
In one edition, Andy manages to get in a triple threat. Collarbones, a pathological aversions to certain unpleasant names and a Tugboat reference (where exactly is Tyler?), all before Monday night!. Anyone who bets he can’t keep getting better is barking up the wrong tree. Here Tuggie!
Don’t forget, Dan writes this crap with me. Praise Dan or he’ll be gassy all day.
lite again
Armstrong is gonna have to get his domestiques to do the self-aggrandizing for now.
I guess there won’t be a Lance interview anytime soon. Most of the time Toto goes right over my head but this is great stuff.
But it would be fun to get one, wouldn’t it?
Tugboat can set a collarbone
I had a great ride this morning, a bit chilly…
thanks for letting us know
We need a “deconstructing Toto” message board here so that people who understand this (I was unfortunately educated by the NY City public school system). Mayeb a 900 number like for the New York Times crossword puzzle where you call in and for $1.40 you get a hint.
all time, awesome job guys.
Did Contador pull a Cinzano on El Tejano? Or did French doping officials cut Samson’s hair? What say you, Dan*?
*(Contractural mention of Dan)
who is this dan
Berto couldn’t have done a Cinzano, as he is incapable of growing that sort of Vande Veldian facial hair.
Leonard Lowe had encephalitis lethargica, not Tourette’s. He wanted to hear Rilke’s Panther poem, not cuss. You are like Obama making fun of Special Olympics bowlers.
http://www.thebeckoning.com/poetry/rilke/rilke3.html
Trying to figure out the Tourette’s trigger here. Is it he bet? Not up on the subtle references, though I did get the one to the “goofy” feelings!
i love when greg shows up at the most inopportune times
U.S. Grant shows up in the headline banners 😉
To watch the banners carefully
you people are so goofy and so is your comic
are part of the velocitynation hierarchy…
Top of the food chain – Interview
second – Being called a sandbagger repeatedly
third – Having your own banner
fourth – being referenced openly as being dangerous
fifth – oblique anonymous references to your riding skills
sixth – being named Dan
Schmalz: I am here with Lance Armstrong. 7X winner of the Tour DAY France. As you know Lance is on a comeback but has tragically broken his collarbone keeping him from training for a few days.
Schmalz: Lance, welcome to NY Velocity. We are a website dedicated tot he bike racing scene here in the New York metro area. How does it feel to be back racing in Europe?
Lance: Thanks Dan. It feels good. Lets talk about Toto….
Ok Schamlz… I got you started. Time to fill in the blanks… does it go from good to bad? or does he blast you for the most recent Toto..
where do ham/pork products sit on the hierarchy?
I would have to think that Lance might say I’m not worth the pixels I’m sitting on?
You think any of those “Puerto Blood bags” Have any “footballers” and tennis players?
http://www.yournewz.com/similar/8832638/2009/02/18/category=0/source=0/0/FIFA,+UEFA+criticize+WADA+doping+rules+(AP)
Catherine Tate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G6Mnlx-Wxs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t5EOOQgxNo&feature=related
i am guessing that much bigger bucks in those sports than cycling in general; more people have more $ to lose, so the dust quietly gets swept under the rug.
for example, look in our own backyard: no comment from steinbrenner on his $250mm investment in a-rod’s shenanigans…
–cynical guy
Awesome Toto…they are getting better.
Who is college?
It’s time to discard the Toto name and change to
As the Lance Turns.
John Korioth
who’s crashstrong’s gal pal pictured in the background?
Isn’t that his ex wife? At least he is out of the tabloids! Big mistake dumping Sheryl Crow. She was my fave.
That is (I think) Lance’s new “Baby mama” Lance has a 4th kid coming in May. Most likely during the Giro.
What were Lance’s logistics coordinators thinking?
Clearly Lance has fallen off the deep end. A broken collar bone? A baby born out of wedlock AND during the Giro D’Italia?
He doesn’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl!
How can he plan prenatal guitar lessons for “Junior” with Pete Yorn or acting lessons for “Daddy’s little girl” with ashley & Mary Kate?
Lance – I don’t even know who you are anymore!!!
Sheryl C.
come on sheryl, you know every day is a winding road.
“Trying to figure out the Tourette’s trigger here. Is it he bet? Not up on the subtle references, though I did get the one to the “goofy” feelings!”
“College told me he bets he…”
bets he
Bets-he
Betsy
As in Andreu
There’s one more name, kids.
Emma
So who sent me this link? Good one.
http://www.playboyarchive.com/
Menchov
Typical stupid stereotyping of what Tourette’s is – very rarely involves vocal outbursts of profanity. Try on a neurological disorder for size some time before you perpetuate such ignorant and hurtful stereotyping in your satire of something unrelated
Lighten up Francis.
for leaving:
‘Having your own Captcha’
off the hierarchy….
It actually sits at 6th with ‘Being named Dan’ pushed to 7th.
And who has a captcha? I never sign out…
sacrifice my Wheelsucker anonymity?
– J. Bruyneel
PS – Captcha is SMASH!
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123811112300753043.html
can’t ride in a pack anymore
see interview nov 2008:
How often are you tested for cancer?
At least once a year I get tested but now, with the blood tests we do, I always get the test, and my tumour test is like a pregnancy test so we just add that into the bloodwork. In the last five years I’ve been tested about 3-4 times a year.
Do you still get anxious before each test?
It becomes less intense each time. I think I’d only worry beforehand if I felt some sign. And then about a year ago I had vertigo. Have you ever had it? It’s weird. I lay in bed and the whole room was spinning and I felt really bad. Vertigo can really mess with you. So I went to the doctor for my blood work and I had to wait a day … so that was difficult. I felt weak and vulnerable. I felt something was wrong.
That WSJ article is silly. Basically says: ASO is not selling. Armstrong is not buying. Yet I had to write an article so here…
We get better journalism here at NYVelocity.
Don’t even get me started that the title is: Lance’s Plan for France (emphasis on Lance) then proceeds to refer Mr. Armstrong in the article.
Who are these iDots and why are they writing about cycling? iDots
“Who are these iDots and why are they writing about cycling?”
His name is Reed Albergotti, it’s at the top of the article. He rides for Adler.
jesus angle…
lol!