One last swipe
I’m just getting back from an extended three week "staycation" into my own mind, where Norwegians SMASH and naughty poetry gets broadcast over the French radio waves, but it’s time to get back to basics here. We need to have an old fashioned argument. This week’s topic will be a last swing at the Tour – do you miss it? Was it exciting, uneventful? Who will win next year? Can Lance be better next year, or will age catch up to him? Can anyone hope to beat Contador? Can anyone hope to top the follicle-palooza that was the escape of Pellizotti and Karpets?
compare this years giro with this years tour. Giro was most exciting hands down. Tour was a bore.
those nutstrong damian hurst bikes are so cool it makes me want to go out and buy a pickled shark.
AC reminds me of Chico Escuela from SNL “Bicycle has been bery, bery good to me!”
Will Lance be riding the Vuelta? JK
Bitchslapstrong would be so well received in Ethspanya!
I could thee him climbing a mountain paseo and a thpectator thlapping him with a giant jamon serrano!
doping sucks. DiLuca sucks. The Giro sucked because DiLuca dopped.
I hope Lance enjoyed his last podium. He’s not good enough for the Giro, he needs to avoid Spain and next year Contador will happily drag the Schlecks onto the Tour podium just to hear Lance talk about how everyone is racing against him.
Now, on to the hair.
We need a cyclist with dreads in the Tour. If it works in football and basketball and golf, and whatever Manny Ramirez does with his mop, why not cycling.
DiLuca is an obvious cheat finally exposed. All the hair product he’s using won’t keep some of the traces out of his mop.
I don’t think doping sucks. I think not being smart and getting caught sucks.
Karpets and Pelozotti! Europerm and Karpets-mullet working together to stay away. FANTASTIC!
No vuelta for Lance. He has “charity” events to attend during that time.
there are dreads in mountain biking.
no more expalining to friends, co-workers and family why you’re not for la
You should just stay in your own mind. It is pathetic and horrible that you have this platform for your negative,lame and useless banter. Sign of the times. I won’t be back!
Bring back Rasmussen & sign him to ‘Shack for OH’10…He still has his Yellow Giro & Colnago from ’07…Give Awareness a new focus for 2010…Reuse & Recycle…
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/28/web-comic-skewers-world-of-pro-cycling/?hp
Contador wants to hang around this fall, be a media darling like Lance, and skip Spain’s biggest race. Whatever happened to racers like Merckx, racers with balls who rode all 3 grand Tours the same year? The current crop of prima donnas cherry-pick which races they race and whine about. There is no one to idolize any more. Bike racing is just one more sport “gone corporate”. How disappointing.
Missy Giove had dreads…
And look how well that turned out for her…
And as for doing the Merckx…you really think Contador would want to go hang out with Astana for another three weeks? He seems to have demonstrated that he can win GTs pretty handily already.
http://livestrongblog.org/2009/07/28/cnns-sanjay-gupta-interviews-lance/
surprisingly probing questions, considering Sanjay is on the board of Lance’s charity…
I think I can hear Frankie giggling in the background.
Good point wheelsucker.. who would want to go back to work for the backstabber team Asstana… Maybe next year we can see Contador do the Merckx trick of winning all 3 tours in one year.
http://stages09.com/stages/
Tinker Jaurez has dreads.
With a name like Tinker, it has to be good.
Keeps facebooking about the Spanish newspapers’ treatment of him and LA. It’s clear he is anti AC from his comments. Scary how it’s so obvious all of them were plotting against Contador; trying to make him second man. And now they criticize him for watching his own back and attacking when he had the chance.
The Schmaltz TdF coverage was truly outstanding, and the advent of the Phallometer genius. Please keep the Phallometer running as a year round feature. It’s a valuable tool for keeping track of Awareness. However, please recalibrate the Phallometer so it starts at zero and goes to infinity, so dick points are added not subtracted. There are no limits to Awareness’dickishness and the Phallometer should reflect that.
I guess they edited the video and took out Gupta’s probing questions.
how can anyone think those were probing?
The fact that Bruyneel is “facebooking” (whatever the hell that is) makes me wonder about his acumen. Focus on the important stuff, Yo Han, not some stupid thing that my 13 year old niece does all day long, dig?
Astana team/Bruyneel were all plotting against Contador? Snort. Bruyneel was doing a damn fine balancing act between AC and LA for 3 weeks!
Dreads in the Tour? Naw, they weigh too much! For guys who weigh their food, and take every ounce off of their equipment that can be removed—going bald, maybe, dreads, no.
If you’re gonna get all doped up at least attach like Di Luca did for Ashley Olsen’s sake(I’m looking in your direction LA) Contador/Schleck battles were exciting until LA had to poopoo the damn thing. All Lance’s return did was make Fred the fatass dentist go and buy a trek and all kinds of LiveStrong paraphanelia and yellow shit and take away from the truely good racing. For me, can’t wait for the Vuelta and classics.
P.S. I can’t wait to see how fuckin’ cheezy those Radio Shack kits are gonna be honestly.
was out in spain the day contador attacked on the andorra climb, he had a huge smile on his face when he came round are corner 2km from finish, LA and cadel bringing up the rear.
Before we could even get on are bikes to go down the descent, LA comes flying past us on his own, literally 10 mins after race ended. Shortly after levi and kloden came down , my friend was descending behind them and the entire time going down they would not shut up about how LA was pissing them off telling them to PULL all the time why he did F All, and I thought levi was on his side.
Did not know about Di Luca getting busted till now but it was pretty obvious to me, fun to watch him though, I am sure contador is going to get busted within the next 6 months as well, just made it look to easy, rarely saw him out of breath.
respect the mullet
It is truly painful to be limited to Versus coverage and the blatant sugar-coated coverage. Well, I guess it is blatant to someone who follows European cycling with more than a mild interest.
I’m not sure who would have been more eager to volunteer to have Lance’s baby (if they could), Phil or Bobke. I found it too distasteful to put up with.
that all the Lanceloonies (apologies to Dlisted) would ride into eternity in the shadow of their messiah’s halo.
*enough of this twitter fuckery*. it’s better to remain silent and be thought an asshole than open your tweet and prove yourself a douche. also, too.
Learn to use your TV. Don’t like the commentary, turn off the volume. Just watch the racing. If you watch the live version that was broadcast in the morning, you got minimal Bobke. Also don’t blame VS for the video feed. They don’t control the video. I wish VS would braodcast more bicycle racing live. Between VS and Universal, we are getting more bicycle reacing on TV than ever before.
wish the tour de schmaltz were a live audio feed
First off, congrats on the NY Times toto props! Very cool. Didn’t know Lance twitter toto-ed blocked you guys, guess he’s more paranoid than we already knew.
This tour will always be known for Lance’s comeback and how Contador’s bad tactics won him his second tour at the expense of Lance and of course cancer. Did you read that “bad tactics” wins tour! Yea, they’re definitely riding without a saddle on that one!
Anyway, its really time for someone to push out an alternate voice over to the Versus Lance-mania over bloat! I got to listen to a webfeed of a Spanish TV station and it was like a real race! They talked about all the riders not just one and ran after the winner for an interview not just Lance… there is a Lance-free media out there!
Liar, Liar pants on fire.
LA clearly has 100s (1000s?) of detractors on this site. Not going to take either side of that debate, as it i slike beating a dead horse. It also seems that most pros who say anything to the media are on the receiving end of snarky comments from someone here. Is there anyone out there that everyone likes? Just once, I’d love to hear someone say something in support of someone that isn’t met immediately with a dead-fish-in-the-face smack of snark. Good performances are always–and should be–lauded. But man, the level disdain on this site for the guys at the top of this sport is unbelievable at times. I guess that’s part of the fun of anonymous Monday-morning QBing. Plus, you are always most critical of the thing you love the most. Despite that, I continue to be amazed at some of the stuff people post.
everyone likes the cervelo test team
I’ll but that
Meant “buy”, not but
SMAAAAASH
does anybody dislike Dave Z?
It’s getting kind of sticky, all this satirical synergy.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/lance_armstrong_inspires_thousands?utm_source=a-section
DZ’s Nutz!
Every ime he gets interviewed on camera he’s got this devilish smirk that says he’s having fun…at your expense…only, you don’t know it!
The dude rocks.
We all love Gina for her amazing pix and for always being there, and Evie for being so badass.
Loved as he is, I fear Dave Z made some enemies around here that day he reeled in George H., who is a local, after all.
You do what you’re told to do by the DS who is your boss and pays the bills. Don’t blame DZ. Blame the sideburned douchebag who fancies himself a lovely Sauterne after a day of strenuous scarf shopping.
The sideburned douchebag wasn’t in the car that day.
To 9:59am
Thumbs up:
Horner
Smash
VDV
Di Luca – style points for attacking the shit out of anyone
Levi – *IF* he’d stay the fuck away from LA
Thumbs down:
LA
Cavendish
Cadel
Hamilton
Meh:
at the moment
Sorry,
Meh:
Everyone else at the moment.
that’s because he was hung over and dry humping the velvet wingback chair in his hotel suite. good thing lance had spy cameras installed, we should see the videos hit the web when conquistador signs on with garmin.
thumbs up for Di Luca? really now?
i think you should refresh your Di Luca browser
Cervelo will find a big $ sponsor, and Contador will race for them. Sastre has got to focus on Vuelta, as much as I like his racing, and then clear the way for Alberto’s arrival…
I don’t care if Di Luca took drugs, so did Menchov and I’d rather watch paint dry than that boring fucker race. I like Di Luca’s attacking style and that fact that he doesn’t particularly like the use of radios during a race. They guy was killin himself at the Giro while Menchov sat on his wheel breathing through his nose the whole damn way
*Style Points*
He made the Giro interesting in a racing way – not a in propaganda/media/twitter/Pissy ol’ Fart/”Awareness”/Leave-the- Hotel-without-your-Team-mates way like LA at TdF. Doesn’t mean I gotta LPR Brakes kit on order….Means I tip the hat at a good show.
De Luca looked like he was going to burp his spleen at some point during the end. The man gets big kudos and style points for all those relentless, though futile in the end, attacks.
would be pretty damn sweet. I’d have to start liking contador…
Thor, Haussler, Contador, Rollin… nice!
Without Armstrong, it’s unlikely the Tour de France would even be on TV in the U.S., so you can’t blame Versus for selling out to him. Let’s face it, there are two types of people: Those who are disgusted by L.A., and those who are simply ignorant of the facts. The reason he and the sport of cycling are so popular is that many people don’t know what a fraud he is.
If anything this year hints at the drama 2010 will be.
My impressions of LA in the Giro were that he was riding for pure sport, no salary from Astana, and actually enjoying cycling.
As the TdF proceeded he morphed into the LA of old leading up to the unveiling of RadioShack, all corporate.
He and Levi are still slotted for the Leadville 100 so I have hope that he will regain some humanity and the joy of cycling.
My $.02 about AC, he is stuck with Vino and Astana through 2010. Much fun will be had with the attacking fool leading team Borat.
And if you had any doubts it really is all about the money.
BTW the Phallo-meter is a throw back to Spy magazine. I dig it.
TTFN
Loehner in the 90s
http://movies.msn.com/movie-guide-summer/buff-movie-bods/?gt1=28101&photoidx=19
I don’t care how jacked LA gets for the Tour, the only way he’ll beat AC or A Schleck is if AC or AS doesn’t race (gets suspended for something) which is typically what happened immediately after anyone left the Disco/Postal/JB/LA show on bad terms. That douche’s completely washed up unless another ‘miracle’ happens.
My 2 cents: AC will have to go to that F1 guy’s team or maybe Garmin to stay off the couch for next year’s tour. Caisse is kindof ify and prone to controles.
I’d also like to see a VDV, Wiggo, AC squad up there with Saxo and the inevitable Dope Shack squad blazing the Alps and Pyrenees. Come sideburns – make it happen!
Now wouldn’t that just be dandy.
Surely nobody can have a bad word to say against the Swiss TT machine Cancellara. Got to love his style and the way he operates.
Riiiiicoooooola!
9:59 — First time on the Internet? Enjoy.
12:46, i would not be so sure about that.
jens, horner, vdv are the only guys are around here who’ll be universally liked
jp and conta will make a good tdf
Yea, VDV,Jens,Horner, but I have to agree with Dave Z. Z-man is legit. About Thor tho, you have to admire his determination in the mountains, I don’t remember what stage it was, but the peloton was sprinting for sixth place or so, and Thor got beat to the line by some spanish guy (Rojas maybe?) and completely bitched him out. I mean, did he really expect he is that important that nobody would challenge him to the line? Or am I missing something?
This site is great. You guys need to make a forum so we can all post cheeky and fun shit our cycling opinions.
It was Peter Velits and yes you are missing something
DiLuca has no style.
Simple really.
who are all this monkeys posting on the site? dude, this thing really went global.
I love that most of the new traffic will miss the Who rode a smart race Captcha
you mean “Adler rode a smart race” is not global?
Who’s Adler? Is that the housewares guy? Does he ride in Center Park?
2:35. yes, it was Velits. But a high showing in a TdF stage still looks good on the resume.
Di Luca has no style compared to who? Menchov? Basso? Sastre? LA? LA’s faggy bikes?
I’m not talking about who’s got the prettiest kits and euro-porn-mullets either chief.
I’m saying Giro would have been better if Menchov went down not Di Luca.
See, more snarky BS. No, not my first time. I love the sport, ride a lot and visit the site frequently. I am just surprised by the level of vitriol some people have for people in a sport where the personalities generally fall into one of two categories–either completely bland or overly colorful, to say the least. People seem taken aback by the latter and act with shock and surprise when LA says something totally in line with everything else that’s ever come out of his mouth, or Cav pounds his chest and reminds everyone that he’s the fastest man in the world.
Adler is global.
my mistake.
Cancellara is a doper.
Voight is too.
There. Done.
Adler rode a smart rhinocerous.
http://www.jonathanadler.com/shop/product.php?productid=17446&cat=427&page=1&initial=
Teany rode a smart race.
What about the Ralpha? Where’ve they been?
To 5:38:
Everyone is a doper, including Kenny Van H who got dropped, er, like every stage.
There said that.
Only, some dopers are cooler than others and that’s what we like.
Example:
LA =boooo
KVH=yeeeehaaaww!
Stage 18 TdSchmalz made me laugh right out loud.
I wish the Wide World of Sports covered the tour. Jim McKay, hell, disinter Cosell, doing a human interest story on the Karpets and Zotticurls….
Curious to see what happens with any testing this year. Not much hope for any clean(er) racing (if for no other reason than for rider’s health) as long as folks think Di Luca’s the bomb. If I wanted to watch horse-racing I’d go to the track.
Tired of pro-cycling = pro-Lance. Saying that Armstrong is good for cycling is like saying that McDonalds is good for hamburgers.
To 5:32:
LA, get off your crackberry for 2 seconds already dude. Seriously. I know you were probably on the shitter waiting for Nike to call, ect, ect, and had nothing better to do, wanted to check in the coolest norm site on the scene and decided to fire back. But that’s literally the 4th time i’ve seen the use of the word ‘aback’ in context in my life and the other 3 times were in your crappy books. Sorry man, you were so much cooler in your Moto days.
5:38 was first.
Correction: Adler rode a leather rhino.
boom here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2b1D5w82yU
Hahhaa, love your comment, amen brother. Although the Lance franchise does seem to raise the profile of cycling it’s still refreshing to hear a different perspective. I totally agree with your take on this-
“Tired of pro-cycling = pro-Lance. Saying that Armstrong is good for cycling is like saying that McDonalds is good for hamburgers.”
CompUSA and Filene’s Basement to jointly sponsor new ProTour Crca Subteam!!!
Other members included: Jammet, Olsen, King, and of course, Schmalz and Shen for “technical” support…
Rick Roll is haunting, but will be my new finishline salute!
How about a Billy Idol lip thing and fist pump?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjnI54xlNp0
I truly enjoyed the footage of Lance cracking Kimmage the balls at that press conference. Rightly so I should say. His comment “…the cancer is back..” was kinda f’d up. I have to admit I feel a little dirty reading toto when the “hey tumor” bomb is launched. Whatever the context – it just seems a little over the top for the cheap laugh.
For what its worth though Lance brings on the drama and makes this sport waaayyy more interesting to follow. Think about it – every sport needs its dose of hater-ade. BARRY BONDS, KOBE BRYANT, T.OWENS, and the list goes on folks.
dirty? c’mon, that’s funny. felt dirtier laughing at the onion article
“No one wants to see Lance Armstrong do comedy.”
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/british-guy-did-not-win-tour-de-france-200907271935/
That Onion article on LA was more F-ed up than anything on here.
BTW, talking about coolest dopers ever, Gert Jan-Theunisse HAS to be on that list.
hunter s. thompson. requiescat in pace, you crazy f*cker.
http://www.sportinglife.com/story_get.cgi?STORY_NAME=cycling/09/07/31/CYCLING_Wiggins.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/31/sports/baseball/31rivalry.html?hpw
We need another Raimondas Rumšas.
Just read the ONION articles on LA. (Truly f’ck up)
I’m shooting for the bronze standard!
About time, but someone in the “main stream” media has finally called it how it is
http://eurosport.yahoo.com/04082009/58/tour-de-france-blazin-saddles-retroactive-tour-awards.html
And of course, the comments are a REAl suprise
Got no issue with Lancehaterade but honestly, the joke is on you if you think Berto occupies some moral high ground. Good luck with that position.
Seems the hate is most intense from Cat 3/4 squids. It’s a rite of passage – you get into the sport because of Lance, then everyone tells you what a dick he is, and the way to show you’re ‘in the know’ is to rail on about what a dick he is to the rest of the squids. Shows you ‘know your stuff.’ But you wind up sounding as dogmatic and cliched as some toad who goes to Europe for the summer and comes back telling everyone that America sucks.
Interestingly a lot of the old timers out there who hated Lance forever seem to give him a little credit now. Yeah they’re grossed out by his antics and are not naive about his past but the SOB is old as dirt like them and in the hunt.
Anyway, choose your idols wisely. Enjoy the sport; don’t fall in love.
He’s over racing in Belgium. Some great posts so far.
http://love-velo.blogspot.com/
thanks for the link…
to Wheelsucker Wed, 08/05/2009 – 10:26am
You managed to get all of that out of a posted link?
The point of posting the link was to show that at least one of the “Big” media outlets,was not following the one sided VN version of what went on at the race.
99.9% of the stuff you wrote (if directed my way) was wrong. Sorry you made all of those wrong asumptions. Nice little speech, though.
Signed,
One of “the old timers”
The mental battle between Lance and Contador was the most exciting part of the Tour this year.It reminded me of the 1986 tour when Greg Lemond had a great rivalry with french legend Bernard Hinault.Bernard almost broke Greg mentally, but the american came through in the end.the racing this year was good also.It was not just Lance that Contador had to fight, but most of the team also, who seemed to be on Lance’s side.every time that Contador attacked he seemed to be scolded by management and Lance.Of course if he did that then Armstrong’s chances would be gone,and what Lance and Johan Bruyneel (his manager)wanted was an 8th tour for themselves.Lance and Johan have a deep friendship and I’m sure that while Bruyneel kept saying that every thing in the team was like paradise,behind the scenenes it must have been like hell for poor Alberto.