Stage 9

Tour day schmalz index here

The biggest news coming out of the Tour would have to be the state of Floyd’s hip. It’s just a bad deal no matter how you look at it. Floyd will need replacement surgery for an injury stemming from a training accident in 2003. It sounds like he’s in constant pain, but I guess once you’ve shoveled out frozen septic tanks, talk of pain is silly. He’s also going to have to be careful after the hip gets replaced because if it’s titanium or some other exotic material, when he gets back to the Tour, the UCI will have him to lower the hip right before the prologue so he doesn’t have an unfair advantage. Here’s a quote from cyclingnews about his riding:

“The worst of it is in the time trial,” said Landis, “which is why I have the position the way I have it now. I can’t lift my leg any closer to my chest, so I have to sit further forward on the seat than the other guys. It seems to be pretty effective,” he grins, “it doesn’t seem to hurt my time trialling.”

There are currently guys all over Spain banging themselves in the hip, trying to emulate Floyd’s position.

I’ve heard a lot of talk of Evans now being a Tour pick, so it’ll come down to Floyd’s hip against Evans’ collarbone – may the best appendage win!

Flat old stage today, Davitamon-Lotto has already stated that they will not be riding to close gaps today. So that will leave… nobody. Depends on who gets in the early break today I suppose.

Seems the Boner is going through a mild depression as he’s not won a stage yet. Don’t worry Boner, you’ll get up again! Wait, did I just write a Flowmax ad?

Everyone should feel better after the rest day: the riders (exhausted), the directors (anxious) and even the journalists (drunk) all needed the respite.

Early break of three with 7 minutes: Walter Beneteau, Stéphane Auge and Christian Knees. Two French and one German – the French riders keep trying to surrender to the German, but Knees is having none of it. Yes, I just went “surrender monkey” on the French – that’s how I roll.

T-Mobile is chasing, but not incredibly hard.

Here’s my now annual diatribe to Tour advertisers (and media buyers):

You’ve decided to advertise during the Tour – I applaud your support of our quirky, mostly European sport. But let me give some advice – please mix up your spots. Throw in a variety, as you see the nature of the Tour is that fans watch it everyday. If you only rotate one spot, we see it again and again, day after day, and this makes us, well, annoyed, perhaps even resentful of your company and product. Better yet would be to do a little live thing everyday so as not to wear us poor viewers out, are you listening Flowmax? “Decrease in semen.” I mean, c’mon, you’re killing me!

Cipo riding in the Liquigas team car – holding the Italian flag. Leblanc fines him 500 Euros, just for old time’s sake.

Lampre chasing, but no sign of the Toto guns, there must be a cheese wagon in the caravan.

Race is progressing slowly today. Paul is dropping some medieval knowledge on us. That’s how you know it’s a slow day.

The helicopter camera crew is screwing around with their cameras. Bob Roll is drooling as he naps on Al Trautwig’s shoulder.

Another OLN spot with the Styx song, I guess they are selling their right pretty cheap. Look for “Mr. Roboto” to become the NYVC theme song.

Julian Dean is blogging the Tour http://juliandean.co.nz/diary.php, his comments on “SMASH-gate” here:

It just doesn’t make sense after the other day when Robbie moved completely out of his line nearly taking out Thor and nothing was done to him. This has been a big blow for us in our effort to defend the green jersey and all because some Commissaire decides to carry out a random act of ‘judging’. Then smearing great big chunks of sea salt into the wound, they fined me for moving out of my sprinting line. Shit man, what are you supposed to do when you are finished a lead out? It just so happened I couldn’t move to the left ‘cause we were coming into the left hander before the final straight. If I’d moved off to the left, I would’ve had guys up my arse into the corner and if I hadn’t of moved over to the left or right, I still would’ve had guys up my arse… Anyway, as I pulled off, I got bumped by one of Boonen’s boys coming round the outside of me. He saw that we were gonna collide so he leant in with his shoulder ready to take the weight. I was relaxed and trying to get my breath after the lead-out and wasn’t expecting the collision so I dropped like a rag doll. If I was in full flight, fully gripped and tense, then I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have gone done.

So that’s good, I got fined 200 Euros for crashing myself. I’ll have to remember not to crash myself again and lose all that skin ‘cause another 200 Euro fine is more salt to a wound than I need. I ask you???

Here’s another nugget:

Even more amazing about yesterday’s stage was that Thor had to cross the line pedaling with one leg. He fell victim to one of McEwen’s accidental, “Opps. Go-off-my-sprint-line-for-no-apparent-reason-in-the-last-50m” tricks. Thor later declared that he really felt like he was going to win if he hadn’t pulled his foot after Robbie veered across his sprint line. It’s pretty disappointing from Robbie. To me, there didn’t look to be any reason why he needed to, or should have, moved across like that. Even more disappointing is that the commissaires didn’t act on it.

Nice, I’d add him to my man-crush list, but there’s only so many I can support.

Oh, wait we have a Rabo with the guns out and hair coming out for the back of his helmet. Will have to investigate further…

Paul’s drops another “Charge of the Light Brigade” reference, it’s fast becoming his fall back phrase, how predictable – SMASH!

OK, the Rabo with the guns and mullet is Bram de Groot, he’s going to give Toto a good run for his money this year. Yes, I’m working today and that search just took me 20 minutes.

18K to go. Looks like the catch will happen.

Crash at the back – they’ll walk it off…

The Boners’ boys are up front, hoping to keep him out of therapy.

Knees attacking the break, trying to get away. Beneteau attacks back. Looks pretty hopeless.

Commesso at the front – guns covered!

Paul says it’s France against Germany – who do you think will win that one?

3k all together, no one really taking control. Liquigas at the front, but barely.

Paul calls McEwen “the scarlet pimpernel” again. As if riding in lycra wasn’t un-manly enough

O’Grady jumps, but Boner’s team is on it.

Thor SMASH gets left in the wind WAY too early. He has to look for a wheel now. There will be a mad Viking at dinner tonight.

The Boner starts really early also, McEwen looks boxed. Zabel neck and neck with the Boner.

Freire comes around on the right for the win, McEwen pimpernels his way to second from about 116th place. He shoulders Freire just past the line out of habit. The Pimpernel’s jump is just amazing right now. I feel less masculine for having typed that.