Stage 9, and Schmalz has already achieved his primary goal at the tour.

Schmalz finally succeeds in getting Brochard to write down his hairdresser’s number.

Stage 8

July 10, 2005 Still no baby, inducement tomorrow. Baby is coming one way or another.

Big day today, from what we saw yesterday, I would expect the attacks to come furiously. Actually, I think I saw Vino attack at the sign-in.

Now, T-Mobile seems like they’re going to be rotating their attacks between Vino, Kloden and I’m assuming Ullrich (who didn’t attack yesterday…interesting). CSC will also be in the mix, they might cover some moves also. With Lance’s team sorta mailing it in, would it make sense for Lance to attack pre-emptively? He has a rest day coming tomorrow, and wouldn’t have to cover things himself. Granted, he does have his best mountain lieutenant riding right next to him, but he’s wearing a Phonak jersey.

OLN’s coverage is about 16 hours today, thank God for Tivo. I give the pre-race stuff three arrows. I listen to a little of the Lance interview. He said he wasn’t mad, but I’m guessing he was a little mad.

We’re 25 k into the race and guys are up the road, no one dangerous, but Disco is still at the front. Was Lance at the race yesterday?

Briske is out of the race. Farewell mellow yellow.

There’s a quasi-streaker at the KOM banner. I think he has a shirt and thing on, if you’re going to do it why not just go all the way and drop the thong? Obviously MTV Italy or Ukraine or whatever is carrying “Jackass.”

Jens Voigt I sin the chasing group and seems to have a saddlebag or something attached to his seat. I would have to believe that it’s some sort of something, right? What the hell would he carry in there?

Rasmussen and Cioni are out on a Jaja-style KOM attack.

Kirsipuu has abandoned, he will now return to Florida and begin complaining about the government over bingo.

Voigt is the virtual yellow jersey; Lance may be giving it away to have another team chase it around. This is a long old day of coverage on OLN, it’s nice to see how the stages develop, but 5 hours of coverage is a lot, I’m now spooning with my Tivo.

OLNs still hanging onto the hope that we will watch competitive BBQ. Doesn’t seem like leg shaving and competitive meat searing will go hand in hand.

Disco is still at the front of the race, maybe they had some bad fish yesterday? The same poor bastard has been at the front the whole time, I wish I could see his number to see who he is. Padrnos, maybe? Welcome to team Discovery, um, no you don’t ever leave the front, why?

What is in Voigt’s bag? I’m dying to know.

Moreau is in the chasing group. You know no one is worrying about your GC chances when the teams let you go in a break like this. They certainly wouldn’t let Vino go.

Here comes the descent of the hill with about 100k to go. Time to move forward with the Tivo.

I bite on the Kirsten Gum spot on the rider’s food, that wasn’t worth it.

Feed zone crash, a Saunier and a Lampre, it might even be Commesso. It is! First rule of the feed zone, don’t get between Sal and his lunch! Cracked collarbone for the Saunier and tears at the side of the road. Commesso has the same thing on his seat as Voigt, what is that?

I don’t know if I’d cry if I crashed out of the Tour, I would definitely swear.

Cioni gets dropped because Rasmussen simply can’t carry him.

Commesso gets some medical attention from the doctor’s car, he gets turned down when he asks the doc for a happy ending.

So Disco has done everything

Thor is getting dropped with 68k to go, Boonen and McEwen are still in the pack. THOR WILL SMASH!

Thor’s teammates are trying to drag Thor back. C’MON THOR, SMASH! SMASH!

Rasmussen is a former mountain biker who decided to follow the money. They still have those races don’t they?

59k to go Padrnos is finally off the front and he can now grovel his way back to the hotel in the autobus.

Here’s a close up of the dreamy Tom Boonen and three other Quick Step riders. Michael Rogers asks, “Where is everybody?”

Hey, wait, Vino hasn’t attacked yet. Oh, wait here comes the final hill.

Haven’t seen the obligatory wiener painted on the road yet. Not enough drunk Dutchman along the road, I guess.

Vasseur’s HR comes across the screen and he’s clinically dead, not wait he’s resting comfortably.

Rasmussen seems to be kind of a stud. He’s put about 1:30 into the chase on the climb. He’s on the final climb and people are going nuts leaping out of the way lat the last moment. Bike racers must thank their lucky stars for the invention of camera phones.

Rubiera is setting the pace at the front and dropping dead weight, this seems oddly familiar. They’ve put the attacks on shut down. It’s almost like yesterday never happened. Were they all drunk yesterday?

Weening has the red number of “Most Combative”, and more importantly, I get to type Weening at least once more.

No attacks on the last climb, not even from Vino. Has he been sedated?

The cameraman following Rasmussen on the descent just vomited on to the moto-drivers back.

Frankie A. just did a spot on Levi’s Specialized, the Trek rep tackled him as the camera cut out.

So, now it’s just down to how much time they’ll let Voigt get.

Rous crashes on the way into town, and Voigt has a flat, but doesn’t use his little saddlebag thing. Once again, what the hell is that?

Rasmussen seems like he’s going to win an inspirational, hard fought, yet dead boring stage.

The race is so slow Voeckler catches back on.

Rasmussen wins and that makes two Rabo wins in a row. Dutch disco party tonight!

Jens will take yellow, Stuey is the only sprinter left and he takes back some green points.

OLN now has an hour of coverage to fill, ugh!

Moreau is ahead of Armstrong on the GC, enjoy that sentence while you can.

I can’t imagine anyone not liking Jen Voigt.

Ooh, here’s a Briske farewell interview. Um, he’s bummed about dropping out, I guess. I’m going to miss that guy.