Schmalz conducts a study of the tradition of road painting.

Awestruck french fans salute Schmalz’s virility.

Stage 7

July 8, 2005 Due date plus 6. Routine doctor’s visit today.

Here’s a little recap of past days in quotation form:

My new favorite story of the Tour:

Flecha regarding his harsh words with Commesso: “…he called me, I needed to eat and he didn’t like it, he said to me to f*** off, he tried to be more intelligent than me so I told him to focus on his job and I on mine”

Flecha’s mood wasn’t improved when he heard who the riders were he was being told to wait for. “When they told me I replied that I preferred to press on alone, because in this race we all know each other. I’ve already had problems with Commesso before. In the end I said that I would slow down because I hadn’t eaten anything during the break and I was starting to feel a bit empty – but it would still have been better continuing without them.”

Nice! I can just imagine the look on Flecha’s face when Salvatore came rolling up in the break.

So, if I get this straight. Commesso rolls up to Flecha, expects him to do most of the work, actually falls back with him to the team car, and complains when Flecha gets something to eat. Bravo, Salvatore! Has he ever raced in Prospect Park?

Another nice little story

Saunier put some of the blame for Zaballa’s crash onto team-mate Nicolas Fritsch, who has provoked concern among his team’s management for his apparent lack of bike-handling skills. This morning’s El Diario Vasco describes riding behind the Frenchman in the peloton as “like shaving in the dark”. The Basque paper says that Fritsch misjudged a corner on the TTT course and forced Zaballa towards the barriers, which made contact with the Spaniard’s bars, which flew round into his knee.

Sooo, you own teammate is your biggest safety threat, “shaving in the dark” – priceless.

Today’s hopeless early breakaway on OLN brought to you by Cialis.

Fabian Wegmann is trying to win the German stage here. His break may seem hopeless because there’s a German sprinter in the group who will ride his heart out for the win today – oh, wait, scratch that – Zabel’s at home staring at the wall.

Just read on procycling.com that Thor has brought his mom along to cook for him on the Tour. I think I like Thor more every day. THOR’S MOM WILL SMASH!

It’s overwhelming how much coverage there is of the Tour. Off the top of my head, I can think of diaries from Floyd, McGee, Jan Ullrich (on Velonews, no less), Stuey, Matt White, Magnus B., Levi, and plenty more I’m sure – but none from Commesso oddly. And then there’s this diary from a Cat 3 American who’s watching TV.

Rudi Altig is calling out Jan Ullrich for not trying harder. Um, Rudy, I realize that you think you’re a legend and all, but you’ve only worn the yellow jersey while, Jan has won the yellow jersey. It’s a subtle difference, I know, but maybe you should think about shutting the hell up! Jan must really get tired of riding with all of Germany up his butt!

Commesso won a stage in Germany before in 2000, here’s a write up from the US Postal site:

Commesso was at the front for much of the finishing straight and in an effort to get Vinokourov off his wheel and to the front, Commesso nearly came to a complete stop. When they wound it up side-by-side, Commesso, clearly the faster rider, powered through to the finish. While there is no denying Commesso his victory, he doesn’t seem to be the most serious rider in the bunch. During the rest day in Courchevel a few days ago, he was seen in the front seat of the huge Saeco team bus, blasting disco music and hand-picking young “groupies” to come onto the bus for a personal tour.

So, my boy Sal gets a ride to the finish from Vino who attacked the break and does a trackstand to make him come around so he can win, savvy stuff, Salvatore. Stay classy. As far as the bus thing goes, well that’s just Sal being Sal.

Here’s my favorite line from the write-up: “Commesso, one of the smallest riders in the field and who simply does not resemble a pro cyclist,”

Oh, yeah, I guess there’s a race on. Sorry, I’m just a little obsessed with Sal right now.

Boonen wins the intermediate sprint from Thor. THOR WILL SMASH!

Michael Rogers’ Quick Step team is going to be completely knackered by the time they hit the hills. Gook luck Mike with the overall, thanks for coming!

I think that riding for T-Mobile is like working for a really rotten, soul-sucking corporation. Look at the examples: Bobby J. looks to be near retirement, goes to CSC and has a renaissance, Kevin Livingston gets so bummed at T-Mobile that he just quits, Jan escapes from T-Mobile (Telekom at the time), parties it up, gets serious with Bianchi and almost wins the Tour, but returns to T-Mobile, and it’s back to the same old. I think there’s no doubt that Vino should leave.

Let me just write this now to get it out of the way. Cadel Evans crashes and breaks his collarbone. It may not be today, but I have a feeling it’s coming.

The French are now building a monument to the drama of Mengin’s crash in his hometown. There’s no doubt in my mind if everyone had stayed upright, that Mengin would’ve been swallowed up quicker than a Viagra pill in Boca Raton.

Everyone is saying how efficiently the German stage is being run (imagine that), maybe all the TDF stages should be run in Germany.

Competitive BBQ, competitive fishing, can competitive keg stands be far away?

Note to self: if I ever get credentials to ride along with the Tour, party with the “chalk man.”

“On Wednesday October 2nd, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer…” That’s all I have memorized for now, but I have two weeks to go.

Here’s the winner in the OLN commercial contest: Mitchum. No talking, just music, cycling tag line. The key to winning the contest is to be the least annoying.

Crash going over a nasty railroad crossing, doesn’t anyone point out road hazards anymore? Of course Dumoulin crashes, do the French give out a jersey for most crashes?

Thor is second again to Boonen in the intermediate sprint. Losing points on every sprint, he’s going to need some luck to take the green jersey. THOR WILL SMASH!

150k out front and Wegmann is going to be caught. Somebody’s going to get some extra bierwurst at dinner tonight.

Here’s comes the lead up to the lead out. I’ll try to stay alert while Phil and Paul tell me about the prize for today’s stage being the winner’s weight in knockwurst.

At least they’ve given out plenty of orange balloons for the crowd to throw into the road.

McEwen over mighty Magnus. A crash and some hard words shared about 500m from the line. Thor can’t come around Boonen. THOR WILL SMASH!