Stage 19

Here we go, the final decisive stage of this year’s Tour! It all comes down to this. Evans is behind Contador by 1:50, which is a good amount. Contador lost about 1:04 to Cadel in the first TT, so he might be able to hold his lead. David Millar had good point when they asked him who he thought he would win; he said he thought it would depend on the wind. A headwind would favor Cadel; a tailwind might mean Contador could hold it. I tend to agree with Millar as he knows time trialing, he also knows crop pants and other metrosexual fashions, but that’s neither here nor there. Oh, and no one seems to think Levi will pull out the GC win in the TT.

So you’d think that VS would let us know about the wind conditions, correct? Let’s see.

Here’s some more Cadel fun (via cyclingnews):

Cadel Evans (Predictor Lotto) had a close encounter of the female kind. Just after crossing the line at Angouleme, a woman ran in front of him, and Evans had to revert to an “Aussie Rules” style hip and shoulder move.

Fortunately, the GC podium contender remained upright although the same can’t be said for the spectator. “I copped one at the finish but I’m alright (rubbing his shoulder),” said Evans.

Why is it every time you hear about Cadel he’s being kinda dicky? Hmmm…

Here’s a shot of Millar going about 50 meters before his chain disintegrates, along with his rear wheel, he goes another 50 meters and it happens again. Balsa wood chain pins are very light, but they can be a little unreliable. Some sales rep just threw up into his mouth watching that footage, by the way.

Cadel also gapped Contador for an extra 3 seconds yesterday at the sprint.

Robbie Venture pants his way through an on bike report with Levi. Levi wearing an all black long sleeve jersey, someone should tell him that’s not such a wise idea.

We will be doing a lot of fast forwarding today, scanning to see if Millar’s bike sets itself aflame.

Needless to say, this stage would be a lot more entertaining if Razzy was trying to control his TT bike – but he’s such a turd, even the comedy of him hitting the ditch over and over wouldn’t make up for the awful sight of him in yellow.

Millar finishes, bangs his bars in frustration. He will need a daiquiri and a bubble bath to make it all go away.

A starting close up on Linus, what was I saying?

Lance is at the Tour, here’s an interview. Why isn’t Frankie interviewing him?

Might have to fast forward to see the top three on the road.

George is on the road, and I don’t care – does that make me a bad person?

I’ve heard nothing about the wind yet, but I’ve been skipping through.

Moreau comes through in 22^nd place, 12 places later than we’re used to.

Popo has a monster cold sore going on. Just saying.

We are having our last chances to see the Euskaltel’s butt bibs. Farewell, dodgy design!

Levi is coming to the line, on a bike borrowed from Agritubel.

It’s rumored that the racers might stage a protest on tomorrow’s stage – I’m personally hoping for an interpretive dance of protest – hopefully involving props.

George is in the provisional lead right now. But the Mulleted propulsion of Karpets is on the road.

Evans about to start. Will we have a classic Cadel collarbone crack on this stage?

Contador about to start, can we get a wind check? Suppose not.

God, time trials are boring. I still have no idea what the wind’s doing.

Look! A split screen of two guys pedaling! They cut to a shot of a gendarme adjusting his “inseam.”

Pereiro finishing. Racing into obscurity.

Demol in the Disco car, telling Levi he’s 1:20 ahead of George.

Levi’s adopted a special “bowel movement” position on his TT bike.

Paul describes Levi’s TT position as “savage”, he describes paint drying as “vicious and violent.”

Cadel :14 behind Levi at 17.5k.

Here comes Karpets at the finish, he gets the best time. Please God, let him and his “Kentucky Waterfall” make the podium!

Contador lost :23 to Cadel at the 17.5k mark. That means he should win if they finish the race in London.

Levi gaining on Cadel who’s gaining on Contador who’s finally gaining on Razzy.

Contador has a squirrel cadence going on.

I’m trying to see if I can see which way the wind is blowing by looking at road side flags.

Levi in first place at 35K, burning the Mullet.

Here comes Cadel to 35K, he’s lost 34 seconds to Levi. He needs to keep 24 seconds to hold off Levi. The podium girls are throwing yellow jerseys into the dryer to shrink them by 4 sizes, just in case.

We could actually have a situation where they might have to race for the time bonuses tomorrow on the dry hump stage to Paris. Can you imagine Levi and Cadel sprinting it out on the road? High comedy!

Sastre caught by Levi. The Carlos Sastre Disaster starts playing “Ode to an Elf.”

It doesn’t seem very windy out there.

Valverde finishes and will probably finish his first Tour tomorrow. Um, great job, Hornet?

Levi coming up to the 50k mark, suddenly, the Disco directors remember his name.

Will Levi win the Tour? Will he finally be able to afford that cease and desist order against me? I have to get my shots in while I can!

The crew at the finish are busy sawing off the legs on the podium.

Here comes Levi to the finish. Finish line camera bottoming out on the bottom of the tripod.

Levi rides a monster time trial! Will the Evans Family Crapbag Players play an encore here?

Cadel coming to the 1k kite. It’s going to be incredibly close!

He needs to beat 1:03:43 to beat Levi.

Here comes Cadel on the finishing straight. Noonen! Noonen!

1:03:35! So, he’s 8 seconds ahead of Levi? Cadel battled back! It that really him?

Contador coming to the finish. He needs 1:05:24 to keep yellow.

It’s going to be really close. He’s hanging on.

Lance in the car behind Contador, radios up to tell Contador that it’s never too late to get fired.

Contador holds it by 23 seconds! Yellow jersey podium set back to normal height.