Stage 18

It’s a whole new Tour with three stages to go. The drama will play out on Saturday’s TT. It will be uncharted territory for Contador, as he’s never been in contention in the third week of a Grand Tour. His win at Paris-Nice proved he can do a shorter stage race, but once you add that third week, things really change. And there was only a prologue at Paris-Nice, no ITT. Cadel’s at 1:53 and Levi’s at 2:49.

Here’s a little chicken talk from Michael Boogerd (via cyclingnews):

“We didn’t talk with each other. He didn’t dare to come, I guess he proved to be a chicken,” Boogerd said sarcastically just before the peloton rolled away from Pau.

That Razzy! What a guy!

92k to go, four off the front: Laurent Lefèvre (Bouygues Telecom), Axel Merckx (T-Mobile), Michael Boogerd (Rabobank) and Sandy Casar (Française Des Jeux). They have about 15 minutes.

I would love to see Boogerd win, after all the Razzy crap he’s been through, but Axel is there – he is a Merckx, after all. And Axel has never won a Tour stage. Both riders are due to retire this year.

Looks like the pack will be content to let these guys go, it will be just scanning for guys whizzing and looking for Cadel to act prissy.

It’s tough to decide who I want to win more today, Axel or Boogerd, oh, hell, let’s just go with Lefèvre.

Oh, and Casar’s ass is hanging out of this shorts. He and Frederik Willems went down when they hit yet another dog, Willems got popped out of the break after that. Are people just tossing their dogs into the road?

No one in the pack feels like chasing the break. No gun show in the pack, Toto chews on bitter bacon at home.

Phil and Paul are trading Old Church knowledge skillz. Phil just called Axel “Eddy”, um, not like he’s ever heard that one before…

We get a close up shot of Boogerd getting a nice salve rub on his tummy, Boogerd rubbing is so soothing to watch.

“When my doctor told me that gazing at Michael Boogerd’s teeth could lead to ED, he told me about Levitra.”

67k to go, about 17 minutes for the break. They do a spot on the guy who preps the jerseys for the winners, they keep copies of all the winners jerseys for all the teams, just in case. We all pretend that they actually make yellow jerseys for Agritubel.

More “farmer art” beside the side of the road. French farmers are very artistic, rumor has it they are also very fragrant.

Spain just realized that Contador is leading the Tour, she wonders whether he could wear an Indurain mask for the TT – for old times sake.

Oy – a Slendertone ad. According to the VS ad schedule for the Tour, we are a crowd of chubby midsectioned, scooter riding, SAAB buying stay at home goofballs with erectile dysfunction. Sounds about right.

Johan interview upcoming: “Levi surprised us by clawing his way to third, and he really surprised us when he was able to find where we were hiding the team bus. He’s very tenacious.”

47K to go, 17 minutes or so, zzzzzzz…….

These are the stage where you really feel for the announcers. What do you talk about? Do you show clips of bikes? Do you interview racers? Do you phone up Boogerd’s orthodontist?

The riders are goofing around in the field. Disco pretending to ride for Levi.

Phil and Paul reminiscing about past Tours with stages much more exciting than this one.

They re-show the dog incident. Ouch – that looks painful! And it’s the highlight of the stage so far.

Paul begins listing the songs on his nephew’s ipod.

The only way the break gets caught is if every family dog in this area gets tossed out into the road.

17k to go, I wouldn’t expect any jumps until about 10 to go. They could stay together to the line also, as none of these guys really have a sprint advantage.

Needless to say, all of Belgium is behind Axel.

I would have to say I’m more of an Axel fan right now, especially after he got boned by Vasseur for a stage win a few years back – who didn’t pull through in the last kilometers at all. I’m sure Eddy had to be restrained from punching him in the neck. So, it should go over well if another Frenchman plays Axel again.

Millar still has his sun allergy, also allergic to wearing manly flannel shirts.

He’s got zinc oxide all over his arms, which almost make shim look as pasty as myself – almost.

11K to go, time for things to get more interesting.

Euskaltel working to protect Zubeldia’s place on GC, the Basque region goes back to their nap.

8k to go, time for fun and games.

Obligatory shot of roadside oversize novelty syringe.

Boogerd wishing he had Lance here to follow to the line.

Lefèvre jumps, Boogerd chasing, Axel helping also. They haven’t caught Lefèvre yet.

Casar looks gassed, and his butt is hanging out.

4k to go. Axel on the front, now sitting third.

Boogerd attacks РLef̬vre holds his wheel.

Axel goes! But sits up.

Casar goes, gets a big gap. I expect to see some Belgian dogs tossed into the road.

Boogerd chasing. Oy, Casar may take it.

Paul say Boogerd has the bit between his teeth – that’ll never get old. Farewell, my big toothed friend.

Boogerd chasing, Axel sitting last wheel.

1k to go – Axel may still get it!

C’mon Axel!

All together again.

Casar gets it from the front! Nobody had any gas left.

Another French win. Eddy kicks his Mammoth in disgust.