Stage 13
After a four-year-old’s birthday party at American Gymnastics we’re on the TIVO for stage 14.
Trautwig and Bob Roll in short sleeved pastel shirts for the recap, let’s fast forward.
More from the Hamiltons, once again I would suggest shutting up, but that’s just me. The best place to present a nuanced, complex argument is in a 1:30 spot on OLN, of course.
OK, I’ve seen enough preview. With a rolling stage ahead I’m hoping for a classic Commesso/Flecha duel.
So much for George’s “gold watch†shot at the Tour, maybe now he can concentrate on the spring classics – where the Boner will hand him all sorts of trouble for the next 5 years.
Break of 5 away, Voigt is in there along with Pereiro and Chavanel. Remember Pereiro bitching his way through last year’s Tour? Good times…
90K to go, they have 20 minutes on the pack, if they get anymore time they will ride themselves into yesterday.
FEED ZONE – TOTO HAS THE GUNS OUT!! Life has returned to normal. Yes, I’m 37 years old, why do you ask?
Toto throws the bone from his pork chop to some lucky spectator.
Here comes an awkward spot from Frankie interviewing Floyd. “Lance hates both of us, so can I crash at your place after the Tour?â€
Phonak at the front, looking like a team.
We interrupt this broadcast for a trip to the A&P.
Dinner was very nice, but it’s getting late time to roll to the 50K mark.
Even in TIVO fast forward I can see the extended Voeckler camera shots.
Let’s stop for the Lance on… thing. This time it’s “loving the bike.†Must…resist…easy…swipe…at…Lance…
OK, so what we have here is a parade lap. We would only need a glass of champagne to make it official. Everyone loves Voigt, so I’m thinking the whole peloton is pulling for him, except for Commesso. Toto loves Toto.
Hummer shot. Do you see how easy that is? I can’t believe I’ve missed this guy so far.
Phonak still looking like a team at the front, let’s see how they look on Tuesday.
The Milram guy in the break snapped his chain – I’ve done that. Now he’s getting a little team car love. I have no team car.
OK, let’s get to the 20K mark when these guys start taking shots at one another.
26K to go the Milram guy jumps on the climb. He could actually turn around and ride back at the pack for a few minutes and still stay away. Voigt grinds up the climb and drops the Milram guy. Voigt generously decides not to charge for that lesson.
Now there are four as one fell off and bumped his head. Childish, I know, but I could go “Wiggles†on you…
The Milram guy is calling out, “Hey, I didn’t mean it. Really, let me back guys, c’mon.â€
The camera following poor Mr Milram decides to pan down to the asphalt as he gets a “speed bottle†from the team car.
Prudhomme prairie doggin’ out of his Skoda. Can anyone tell me why the Tour Directors feel the need to stand up in the sunroof of their cars, catching tongue bugs all day? Couldn’t they just sit in the shotgun seat and do the same thing? Oh, wait they’re French, I forgot.
17K to go – who will Voigt punish next?
Chavanel is in the break – there – I said it. I just hate typing and spellchecking his name when I know he’s going to blow it.
Chavanel attacks, the Liquigas guy is chasing – Voigt grinding behind with a case of Quinziato ass.
Chavanel back in the group. Pereiro complaining, everything’s normal.
I should mention that I think Voigt will win. I have been playing my cards close to my chest.
10K to go. How far down is Chavanel on GC? Like 4 hours or so?
Now it’s going to get interesting. Seems like everyone on the break is afraid of Voigt.
Pereiro’s GC number just came up, they had to scroll down so far on the Tour web page, they just realized he could get yellow. I would pt his chances at yellow at “none.â€
Voigt jumps – his smaller break companions soil themselves. Pereiro attacks with Voigt following. They have a gap as Chavanel is slow to react. Voigt pushes for a bit but Pereiro keeps the pace – they have a small gap.
Does anyone right now think Chavanel will pull these guys back? Hands up? No one? OK. It’s agreed.
I’m hoping that Pereiro loses just so we can hear him complain again.
1K to go. Voigt jumps, ooh, too early?
They come to a standstill, and jaw at one another, looks like Pereiro is complaining. Jens leading out, it looks bad.
Jens leads out and wins! Justice served, and we get bonus Pereiro complaining quotes tomorrow!
Chavanel third, one spot ahead of where I thought he would.
Oh, wait, there’s still a race going on.
Rabos working, full Toto guns right behind.
They show Jens talking in German from the departure village of stage 14.
Watching the clock for the GC. Zzzzzzz…
Jens English interview from the finish in Paris. Pereiro didn’t want to pull through? Shocker!
Would there be anything more pathetic than Phonak losing the jersey on a day like today?
Toto’s guns – just for kicks. I have to say it.
Pereiro will get Yellow. Hilarious. Will he still complain?
Field sprint. Pimpernel time. The Boner loses to the Pimpernel again. That sentence is just so un-manly.
sheesh
thank god for shmalz, the tour would merely be a moderately interesting sideshow without this commentary. All this and a new baby too!
Anybody want to buy a “Thor will smash!” T-shirt?
Hey Schmaltz, too bad you missed this, from NY Times:
“Horner did have one complaint. He accused a member of the breakaway, Carlos da Cruz, a Frenchman with fdj.com, of not having done his share of work after the group’s lead reached a maximum of 9:20.
While that should have assured that the pursuing pack, led by McEwen’s team to set up the sprint, would not usually have caught the five fugitives, their lead dropped steadily.
Da Cruz, Horner charged, deliberately slowed the pace, although why he would do that was another mystery.
In anger, when the Frenchman tried to speed off alone with 20 kilometers to go, Horner threw a water bottle at him.
A judge noticed that infraction and Horner was fined 200 Swiss francs, or $154 and change.”
You gotta like Horner’s moxie mixing it up with Da Cruz, I have to wonder why he wouldn’t work?
I usually get my pissy quotes from procycling.com, they have great tabloidy-type stuff, love those Brits!
The guy I really feel for is Flecha, he’s been pulling around all sorts of clowns. Most notably, Salvatore (where’s the chicks?) Commesso.
Horner played a good hand. Loved the post intvw. with Frankie. Horner doesnt mince words on the days move either, notably Chavanel rookie attempt to try and snap the line with 6k to go, after a massive effort to bridge. He’s basically out-thinking his competitors up the leader board with each stage. He’ll sit back for day 1 pyrenees. Day 2 will see’em inside the top 20!
It looked like Horner and Chavenel were playing games, half-pedalling in the final minute of racing. If they had just raced in all-out side by side, ONE of them would’ve won. That was almost not caught. Sheesh, nothing wrong with a second place in a TdF stage!
schmalz, i hope you’re watching right now–your favorite fatboy is off the front…
Economicaler as one word.
The fighting cock.
The first line on the cyclingnews results initially began “Michael “The Chicken” Rasmussen showed his fighting cock ways today…” Since changed, sadly, since it does seem to capture his personality.
new drug free era?
we wish…
Top five are all still in serious doping programs (stage or gc, your pick)
God bless your crooked little heart.
I get the sense that with the new drug free era, anyone can and generally has collapsed on any day, except Razzy. I smell a string of Razzy positives to follow in the week after the tour finishes. No way the Chicken rides at the front of the bunch on flat stages and dominates rivals in the TT (not to mention toying with them on Sunday’s stage, which I saw before reading this).
So Razzy catches Valverde, stays upright, and stays in yellow; who’d a thunk that would happen. Think Vino will attack today? And isn’t this so much better than the Lance era?