Stage 12

Yesterday’s Moreau spanking has sparked a little bit of controversy, this is from the Astana DS:

“We didn’t work because [Christophe] Moreau was behind, although we did expect that we could drop somebody. After a while we watched who was dropped and when we found out that he was dropped we continued,” Kummer explained.

Loosely translated, “Whoo hoo! Let’s drop Moreau like a bag of French cat feces!”

I would have to think now that Vino is feeling better, more from the DS:

“Our captain is still Vino but we will give Andreas [Klöden] a free role, with all the support from the team so he has every possibility for the GC. Yet, the man who decides within the team is still Vino.”

Kloden’s free ride=free to ride for Vino!

Also, we have the Razzy not being at home controversy. I suppose he didn’t tell the drug guys where he was a couple of times – which is not good. So he’s not on the Danish National team, but will still ride the Tour. He will now get to answer drug questions every day – I fully expect him to explode from all the attention.

Zabriskie is out of the Tour also, denying us anymore of his video interviews. A sad development “What game play, my friend. What game play.”

Today’s stage has some cat 4 hills and then has a cat 2 about 40k from the end. Depending on how Vino feels today, pretty much anything can happen.

There’s a break of two up the road which includes Fedrigo, who beat our beloved Toto into second place last year on stage 14. Let’s stroll down memory lane with Toto, shall we?

“Everyday I work for the others,” said Commesso, in a memorable quote, “and for the one time that it is my day, I’m only able to lose. What can I do to win? Kill my opponents?”

Mmm, Toto. Apparently, “irony” isn’t in the Commesso unabridged dictionary, neither is “moderation” or “svelte” coincidentally.

Fedrigo’s breakaway partner is named Amets Txurruka. Insert standard, “That sounds like a painful disorder of the bowel” comment here.

95K to go, situation unchanged, break at 9:12. And don’t think I’m simmering about missing out on Toto vs Fedrigo, round two.

Levi spot, I’d take another shot at him by saying there’s step stools all over his house or something, but I fear a restraining order coming soon. A tiny, little restraining order.

Txurruka proudly sporting the Euskaltel ass bib.

Burghardt out in the middle between the break and the pack. Txurruka makes my spell check smoke.

Feed zone – time for a Vino attack? Nothing worse than chewing a Nutella and banana sandwich and trying to cover a Kazakh at the same time. Everyone’s going to be pooping like rabbits as they watch for Vino attacks.

Colnago will be pulling out all of the stops for Razzy’s TT bike in Saturday, um ,they will add different wheels – that counts for something, right?

CVV interview, obligatory Postal crash sequence. “Lance tried to get me thrown out of the country, but I was able to find sanctuary in a French cathedral.”

Almost to the final hill. Phil just read a cage fighting promo, he seems confused. Strange, as a cycling and cage fighting crossover makes perfect sense.

Leader on the hill, pack at about 5 minutes. Liquigas pushing, hoping for another Pozzato day? Let your perm fly, hammer!

Someone should tell the “Perfect push up” guys that many cyclists have the upper bodies of Cub Scouts.

Liquigas chasing and not gaining any time. That’s some good bike racing.

Caisse and Disco at the front, hoping to drop Vino? Valverde must feel very comfortable after Vino’s jump yesterday.

Wonder if we’ll see some downhill Vino attacks today?

Everyone is nervous about Vino attacks. Vino is giggling.

Leaders at the summit. Everyone just up there to make sure they see Vino attack.

Popo gets the mountain points; he is gaining on the Chicken for the polka dots.

Crash at the summit, that’s a strange place for it.

Does it seem that this race is just everyone waiting for Astana to do something?

Compelling stage here.

There’s a tractor by the side of the road with what looks like a septic tank with a bike strapped to the top. Poop container art!

Frankie does a Fizik commercial. There’s no way I ride a carbon saddle across France.

Leaders at 3:21. Razzy at the front. I have to wonder whether these stages take their toll on him, as he’s usually on the ass of the race at his point. A tired Razzy in a TT is a recipe for high comedy.

“Levi Leipheimer – not as crappy as years past – the Tour on VS.”

29K 2:42 to break. Sooo dull today.

Lampre at the front, along with FDJ. And both team should be shamed by the fact that Barloworld has two stage wins.

Cool helicopter shot of the pack moving through the trees, damn they go fast!

Mr. Mxyzptlk and Fedrigo still away, with Fedrigo taking most of the bonus money. Voeckler’s gold fronts aren’t going to buy themselves!

Gap down to 2:01, looking a little hopeless for the break. Of course, if Toto were up there he’s be working. Salvatore, must be swearing at his TV right now. Don’t drop the hock, Toto!

So the TT tomorrow will be between Kloden and Vino, right?

Will someone hit the ditch on the descent? Popo?

Hope to see Karpet’s mullet in the TT tomorrow. How funny would it be if Vladimir went to the wind tunnel and the aero guys told him to drop the mullet? “Nyet! It is source of my power!”

Gap dropping like Moreau’s q-factor.

Look at Mr. Mxyzptlk’s cute little bike! He thinks he’s people!

11K to go, 59 seconds. Toto grinning, revenge is his! He orders a round of brisket for everyone.

“When my doctor told me watching Razzy for hours on TV could lead to erectile dysfunction, he told me about Levitra.”

Speaking of ED, we may have a Boner day today.

Ah, Quick Step at the front. Feeling a Boner opportunity. Hee hee.

Wonder how Thor SMASH is doing?

Fedrigo laments the lack of draft behind Mr. Mxyzptlk, in the Toto move there was plenty of draft, although there was “full gas” to deal with….

There’s a Credit Agricole guy up there, maybe Thor SMASH is feeling well?

3k to go, 14 seconds.

Let me just type “Zabel second” right now and get it out of the way.

2K to go. Break doomed. Toto doing the “Running Man” at home right now. Neighbors calling police to complain about the vibration.

1k – here we go. Boner has to get past Steegmans.

The Boner takes it. Um, Zabel takes second. Glad I typed that earlier. Poor bastard.