Preview
Prologue Through Stage 2
Stage 3

Stage 4
Stage 5
Stage 6
Stage 7
Stage 8
Stage 9

<big>Stage 10</big>

Valverde made Vino cry yesterday! When The Green Hornet saw that Vino was having a tough time on the last climb, he attacked and attacked until Vino could take no more. Obviously Valverde remembers last year’s Vuelta. I expect him to continue attacking Vino, as Vino making a come back probably haunts his dreams – like a Kazakh version of “The Terminator”. And now we have Kloden leading his team, isn’t that exciting?

Classy quote from Razzy from Velonews:

<i>”I am very happy with today,” said the skinny Dane. “Now there is no doubt about who is the captain of this team is. I stayed close to Valverde because he had another teammate up there. I felt like it was a victory for me to be able to fight back the 25 times Valverde tried to attack. I felt very clear in the head today seeing the tactics of the race. It was disappointing that Menchov couldn’t get his ass over the Galibier. I think it’s a climber’s Tour.”</i>

That’s sure to inspire the troops! Way to motivate, Razzy! I don’t expect that Razzy will mysteriously experience a mechanical or fall unexpectedly or anything.

It’s a classic transition stage today, I am still furious at the Tour organizers for denying us the glory of a Toto stage today.

109K to go, 10:45 to the pack. Of course Flecha is here, there’s no way Toto would have missed this move. Gun show denied!

11 guys at the front, Rabobank at the front of the race, trying to drop Razzy.

Jens is up there – no way they get caught.

Boner interview. “Now that Robbie’s out and Thor SMASH has a cold, you can get pushed all day and still be in green, no?”

Feels like a Jens and Flecha show today, maybe Casar. They should all be pouring their Extran on the road in honor of their fallen comrade, Toto.

The Tour has about 100k of TT-ing to come – anyone feel confident in Razzy still? So if Menchov beats Razzy in the TT, does he get to wonder why Razzy couldn’t get his skinny ass in gear?

Boner sitting behind Razzy, wondering where the draft is.

Rabo just setting pace, letting Flecha get his chance.

Even Agritubel is in this break. They will get to have the flavor packets with the Ramen tonight!

The Euskaltel butt lozenge is just strange. I can’t think of a less flattering thing to have across your rear end. Well, except Toto of course. See what we’re missing? Curse you Prudhomme!

Paul just mentioned the local mountain’s name translates to “The Big Poodle.”

Is that Burghardt in the break? Yes it is and he’s wired! 322 watts at 150bpm. Lord! I hit that wattage and my aorta dislodges.

Frankie is looking at wheels. They are so shiney and spinney!

Razzy is extra nutty about his bike. So he’s a pain in the ass to the mechanics and he calls out his teammates – Razzy fever, catch it!

Vasseur is up there too – I don’t expect him to ever hit the front alone. The Merckx family is still not sending him any Christmas cards, after he followed Axel mercilessly at the Tour and refused to pull through, losing the win for both of them.

If Toto were here he’d be sunning himself like a gecko with a gut full of toad.

OK, we’re going to do a little fast forwarding here.

There’s Vino. Oy, who can forget Vino crying yesterday? No one makes Vino cry!

Vino has about 60 stitches. Lord. So the TT will shake out who really leads Astana. Never count Vino out. It’s like he’s undead.

Freddy interview, with Robbie gone he’s now the sprinter on Predictor. He’s about a week too late for that, though.

77K to go. Shazbot! I just know that Toto would be bitching at Flecha to work in this break.

Flecha sitting in the “Toto chair” on the break. Except Toto doesn’t need a teammate in the lead on GC to not work.

Flecha is actually pulling through. Toto weeps into his meat smoothie.

So Sinkewitz gets popped for testosterone and Germany is now denied any Linus shots for the duration of the Tour.

For him to get popped one of the following has to be true:

1. T-mobile’s testing (assuming they tested for testosterone) program didn’t pick up his abnormal levels, meaning they covered up a positive result, or their test didn’t pick up the positive. Conspiracy fans will go for the former.
2. Sinkewitz is an idiot and decided to try and fool the T-mob program and the UCI at the same time.
3. The testosterone test is dodgy and despite T-Mob’ test being negative, the other test came up positive. Paging Mr. Landis!

Frankie on the Specialized helmets. “They have had an incredible time making a helmet to fit Vino’s head – and they’ve made all of Astana look like fools.”

The shots of the team directors in cars are very compelling, “Look he’s handing something to someone!”

Absolutely nothing going on here, and they have been using the same old lead-ins all Tour long. All the American riders do their best Zoolander impressions.

Chris Horner interview – not as good as the Velonews spots. Horner would make a good commentator, he’s twice as insightful as the guy interviewing him.

Time to scan for crashes or attacks.

Phil reporting about German TV not showing the Tour, they pan past the Germans and it seems that German TV shares the same road crew as the Scorpions.

This stage is a little boring. Guys are hanging on the cars shamelessly.

Can’t believe Toto is not in this Tour.

35k to go, still nothing has happened. They show Jens’ win from last year, the one that put Pereiro in yellow. Pereiro in yellow may never happen again. Unless 62 guys get the runs this year. So there’s always hope, Oscar. Try whizzing on the hotel salmon.

31K to go, Jens attacks! Everyone not blind and they follow. Jens is back, I’m going to guess he’ll attack again.

They are on the hill now. Everyone together. Jens setting the pace. Halgand attacks.

Casar and another jump to him him. Paul remarking how the French always chase each other. Silly French! Enjoy losing!

Jens and Flecha jump. Jens in the group ahead of Flecha. Where’s Toto when you need him?

Jens attacks again. I may just cut and paste that phrase to save time. Might also cut and paste “Frenchman weeps.”

Jens is now in the front group containing 3 Frenchmen – who would you bet on?

22k to go. Flecha left out.

17k to go. Halgand jumps drops Casar. Jens chasing back on. Vasseur (Captain Tailgate) gets towed by Jens to the front. Eddy Merckx just swore out loud on Belgian TV.

Casar almost back to the front group. Jens goes to the front to hurt people.

Cat and mouse time. Vasseur last pulled through about 10 miles ago. It that Toto on the Quick Step radio?

Jens encourages the rest to try and not be so French. Halgand wets himself.

We get to the summit, all five together. Flecha lost without Toto.

10k to go. Second group at 45 seconds. A couple of complete idiots in the road. The Motos miss them, but one day Darwin will surely take care of them.

Halgand attacks again, a little hopelessly.

I imagine if Vasseur wins, Jens might punch him right in the neck.

Albasini is there for Liquigas, that fact of interest perhaps only to the Albasini family.

It’s going to get interesting now. I’m looking for Jens to punish.

There he goes. Will anyone counter. Vasseur? Bwa ha ha ha ha!

2k to go – all together.

Vasseur looks back to see if there’s anyone else to follow.

Jens wags an elbow, um, you do know these guys are French, right Jens?

1K to go – just a big old straight line of road.

Jens at the front. Not a great position, but he is Jens f-in Voigt!

The meters are ticking away. Jens on the barrier.

Halgand jumps, Jens moves over and Vasseur gets up on the barrier.

Vasseur wins! Eddy Merckx just punched his TV co-host.

A victory for France! Jens fifth. God is dead.