Hilly stage today, here’s the stage recaps and the reminders of the lack of a finishing helo, I’m not fixated – really.

There are about eight guys off the front, nobody whose names I feel like typing out just yet. Horner tries to get across. Horner likes bike racing.

I still refuse to type out the leader’s names – oh, wait there’s Mark McCormack at the front!

Mark is telling the riders how when he started riding bikes, the wheels were square.

Horner has made it to the group. Chadwick from the Navigators is trying to bridge.

A T-mobile guy is bridging also, those stripes that run up the shorts and jersey are a bit disorientating. Mesmerizing, in fact.

Mark McCormack will bear the burden of my hack-ish age comments.

Mark asks if the group can stop because “Matlock” starts soon.

Is Mark McCormack an angry person, just wondering – no reason.

Lars Ytting Bak – racer or herbal supplement?

Dear God, I feel a Clif Bar skit coming on. Mark McCormack has the grass jersey on today – so I guess he can take a joke. Even bad one – that bodes well for me.

Mark McCormack asks Horner to rub his bunion.

Lars Ytting Bak is off the front briefly but comes back – robbing me of pun opportunities.

Riders give their frames a hump as they descend. Colavita has two guys in the break – they are sitting pretty well.

There’s Ed Beamon talking to Chadwick from the car, he offers to switch places.

Mark McCormack won’t stop talking about the weather.

They are scanning the peloton and I still don’t see the Mexican team.

Interview with Bobby Julich, he discusses interest rates in Uganda.

Ok, I’m not the sharpest tool in the bag, but when did that group of ten get caught? Did they show it? Does this mean I can’t pop off about Mark McCormack’s age anymore?

Chadwick is turning his cranks over like a broken windmill.

So, it looks like we will have a sprint finish, and we will be treated to the most exciting event in cycling reduced to watching blurry little fellows dribble across the line. Cycling fever – catch it!

Johan is on the phone live – ask about Eki’s mullet! Ask about Creed leaving an “upper decker” in Disco’s hotel room toilet.

Two leaders have 30 seconds; we have about 5 more minute before any racing starts. I will use that time to compose a haiku:

No Thor in this race

Commesso eating buffets

I await the Tour

4k to go CSC at the front for Stuey, I would assume. So, let’s get a shot of the back of the peloton.

There’s a crash – we were informed via telegraph.

Insert finish coverage complaint here.

I guess Haedo wins. They have the stones to review that pathetic finishing shot footage. I’ve seen better footage from cruise missiles. If they shot it in night vision it would be clearer. I guess we will have to take up a collection to get a helo next year. Maybe we can auction Horner’s plasma?