After yesterday’s impressive win by Thor SMASH Hushovd, today’s stage should see another desperate breakaway (although Tom Voeckler probably won’t be involved – as there are no KOM points up for grabs) followed by a spirited chase, culminating in a sprint finish marred by crashes. Everyone is still fresh in this first week and that means guys who have no business being at the front of the race (hello? French guys?) will try their luck – and then hit the ground. It throws me off to see Frenchmen trying for a sprint win, it would be like seeing the neighborhood woodchucks doing body shots. It’s a little unnerving.

I enjoyed yesterday’s stage immensely. Fabian tried one of his last kilo attacks, Pozzato got screwed, and Thor SMASH triumphed on an uphill sprint. It gave me a warm feeling all night, much like the feeling I got when I saw the televised coverage of "Hands Across America". If you are too young to remember "Hands Across America", it was this: an attempt in 1986 to unite the country and fight hunger and homelessness by having everyone hold hands across the country simultaneously. But it basically turned out to be the east and west coast holding hands, with huge unclasped gaps in the midwest, as you cannot even bribe hobos to stand in the middle of Nebraska in the heat of summer – as the event organizers found out.

But where was I? Oh yes, Frenchmen hitting the deck. If you’re not Jimmy Casper, you may want to rethink that sprint finish, Jean-Clause.

I’m watching the live coverage today as I work in my office, so I will be subjected to all the ads on VS. Personally, I’d rather be shot with a BB gun in the buttock, but that is where we stand. I tune in and see this nice fellow named Billy Jean King talking about Nutrisystem, so maybe it won’t be so bad today.

87k to go 4 riders up at 11 minutes. Will Frischkorn is up there with a token Agritubel, and 2 others. Their hopes for success are the same as the hopes of a Gary Coleman presidency. So never say never…

Today’s stage ends in Nantes, which Paul describes as "like Kazakhstan – with less BO." Book your flights now!

Uh oh, we are live during the time of day when the ads are targeted towards losers, they just had a spot about a little old lady losing her last $40. Now why would they be showing that spot at 9:30 on a Monday morning?

Danny Pate interview – um ok…

Maaskant has crashed, he looks ok. Garmin has white crotch panels also! Have the jersey designers for these teams never heard of "camel toe?" Perhaps they use that panel as a test for racers abusing Viagra.

Soler is still in the race, so he may be able to recuperate.

It’s been leaked that Steegmans will be riding for Tinkoff next year, Booner just tossed his house arrest bracelet into the air in celebration.

Julian Dean is the champion of New Zealand. So he just has to show up to claim that jersey, no?

It’s a wet day out there today. The feed zone will probably resemble a war zone today with ham and cheese scattered everywhere, and then of course, we will see the Agritubel riders stop and collect every extra scrap of food.

So what’s up with the backwards footage VS spots? They show a bunch of disgraced racers in slow reverse motion, and say "a new stage begins." Why not "We’re pretty sure no one is going to get arrested and cavity searched this year- the Tour on VS"? Lord, does any other sport have to put up with this?

Here’s a Cav profile – he’s fast.

90K to go and we’ve got lots of dead time to fill. Paul is starting to read from the Michelin Guide. The cheeses from this region are fermented with virgin tears.

More JV interview – I can’t get past his turtleneck, I’m sorry. It’s like he works at a Colonial Williamsburg-type theme park called "Douche Acres."

So it seems that Bob Roll did actually make it over to France. I have not been seeing the coverage that includes him. I’ve always wondered why they don’t simply replay the earlier footage with Phil and Paul and save the money it costs to ship Bob and that Hummer (hee hee) guy over to France. VS could then use that money to buy themselves a nice vintage Ford Pinto.

They interview the Bob Stapleton random quote generator; "Today we’re going to be super aggressive and we’re all super motivated and I was up late last night binge-reading ‘Sweet Valley High’ books."

There’s an ad for something called the "Pat Sajak Game Lounge", along with an ad for a fighting show called "Tap Out" – these ads are actually lowering my self esteem. And I really have to fight the urge to cut the sleeves off my shirt.

Here’s a Robbie interview, Cunego crashed in front of him at the finish yesterday, and then someone else crashed, and then he finished 60th.

I am so curious about the screen that Phi land Paul are sitting in front of. Are they actually at the stage finish? Are they just lit very strangely? Are they in someone’s basement in Piscataway?

At 57K, there’s a protest on the road from what appears to be the "eating cheese and drinking wine at 9 AM" union, they pass gas, slide back and let the break pass.

Is SAAB trying to hypnotize me with their recycling ads? Why am I in my yard pretending to cluck like a chicken without pants on?

It’s a wet day out there today. Teams with white crotch panels will now come to the front to give the folks at home a show.

50 k to go- the four at the front are holding on at 6:44, the rain may help them out – if everyone at the front of the race crashes – it can happen!

They interview Magnus about crashing – that’s like interviewing a Goth about mascara.

Paul has some little magical computer that tells him whether the break has a chance, it also has a nice tip calculator.

I would just like to state here that a win by Will Frischkorn would simply be awesome.

Trek believes in bikes – they do not however believe in Greg LeMond.

34 k to go, it’s going to be tight at the line. Will Frischkorn fans will have to pray for crashes.

Caisse d’ Foosball are trying to keep Valverde focused at the front of the race.

We’re going to have a tight finish here, Dumoulin has a fast finish, but he tends to hit the dirt a lot also.

The rain has stopped at the 25k to go sign.

Oof, looks lie a bad crash. Ángel Gómez Gómez of Saunier Duval loses a contest with the road furniture. Boutros Boutros-Ghali sheds a tear.

There’s a split, and Quick Step is pushing it to screw the guys behind them.

Menchov and Ricco have been caught behind the crash. They are at 15 seconds. Can you say Passage du Gois?

15 k to go, the leaders have 3:44. There’s rain at the finish, which is good for the break.

10k to go, Liquigas and Quick Step simultaneously chasing and trying to screw Menchov.

Looks like the break has a great shot at the win.

8k to go and we have another crash, a solo effort by a Quick Stepper.

It’s going to get really interesting for the guys up front, when will they start attacking one another?

If Romain Feillu from Agritubel wins, there will be squirrel for everyone at the dinner table tonight!

There’s two races going on right now, the race for the win and another race to stick it to Menchov and Ricco.

Feillu could get yellow if they stay away.

3k to go , the boys in the break are still playing nice.

C’mon Will!

Dumoulin attacks! Will follows.

Feillu bridges, Longo is dropped like Charo’s application for Mensa.

Will is now caught in a French sandwich with rotten cheese.

Dumoulin jumps again, Will has to tow Feillu up. They all get together. Will may be gassed. Dumoulin wins, with Will second.

Robbie wins the field sprint.

Ricco and Menchov lose about 40 seconds. I cannot wait to hear who Ricco blames for that.