We caught up with Tim Johnson of team Cannondale presented by Cyclocrossworld.com via Skype chat before his Ride on Washington, here’s what transpired.

schmalz You’re going to be riding from Massachusetts to DC in MARCH, what is wrong with you?

Tim Johnson I’ve heard of the states just outside of New England before and I wanted to see if they were, in fact, real. Something about "connetikut", Road Eyeland.

schmalz I’ve lived in CT, it’s full of rocks, and is bad for farming.

schmalz Road Island is a myth, like a snipe, I’m surprised you fell for that.

Tim Johnson Shit. I stood out in the field all night long for that damn snipe.

schmalz Well, you’re a pro biker, and therefore easy to fool.

Tim Johnson Ouch. That kind of simple association trick doesn’t make me feel that good sometimes.

schmalz Why are you going from MA to Rhode Island, isn’t that out of the way?

Tim Johnson No, we’re just going to buzz through the corner of RI on the way to Hartford. I just spent some time this morning working with Strava to get the routes going.

Photo courtesy Wil Matthews.

schmalz Smart, now when exactly does this trip occur?

Tim Johnson Should be cool, there are lots of roads that are ‘good’ and way more that ‘suck’. We’re trying to avoid the latter.

schmalz Can I recommend a road in New York City? It’s called the FDR…

Tim Johnson We start at Boston City Hall on Friday morning the 4th. We’re doing some TV stuff in the lead in to it. Should have Mayor Menino out there to help launch the paper airplane that is the ride. Hope it’s not raining…

schmalz And you are doing this ride for a cause, correct?

Tim Johnson The fundraising side of things came as a response to how many people were getting into it. Originally it was just that I wanted to ride down, then I invited Fries to join me and boom, it blew up from there.

schmalz Who are you raising funds for?

Tim Johnson Bikes Belong

schmalz Ah, I’d tell you to ride through Central Park, but you may get a ticket, the fuzz is cracking down on the bikes there.

Tim Johnson I heard that… doesn’t seem that good for those dudes on the torn up bikes with aerobars, and the voodoo dolls, and the medallions

schmalz It’s really cutting down on the training time for triathletes for sure.

Tim Johnson and the dried up pirahna

schmalz And disco roller skaters. When do you plan on being in NYC? In case I decide to rob you and make off with your bike.

Tim Johnson If you asked me to borrow it, I’d say sure, take it for a spin. Then I’d jump on your back.

schmalz It sounds like this isn’t your first trip to New York…

Tim Johnson I saw Crocodile Dundee a few weeks ago. That prepped me for it.

schmalz "That’s a knife.", indeed…

Tim Johnson Exactly

schmalz You’re a cyclocross racer, so this is your off season, do you just roll in the dirt to stay in the zone?

Tim Johnson I’ve been waiting to get out on the mtb a little. The 3ft of snow has been a little tough on things. My ribs are finally starting to come around now and that makes it easier for me to think about riding on the trails. I’ll be riding my SuperX on the ride to DC tho, just to stay ‘in the zone’ as you say.

schmalz: When do you start racing again?

Tim Johnson Not until June probably. I’m still working out the whole schedule.

schmalz And then you’ll be racing real bikes?

Tim Johnson Road and mountain bike, I wouldn’t say real. Real is any bike…even my old Klein Attitude that is in my mom’s basement. Watermelon colorway, remember those?

schmalz They were majestic and also helped induce hallucinations.  So I have no memory of them actually.

Tim Johnson That was during my off years… Cycling has been good to me, it helped me get off the streets.

schmalz Just a metallic taste in my mouth when I try to remember them.

Tim Johnson Or more like, out from underneath the Moon Tower.

schmalz Yeah, you’ve actually managed to make a career out of this cross thing (mostly)—that can’t be easy.

Tim Johnson Cross has been changing ever since my first race back in the fall of 95.

schmalz 95, wasn’t that the last year they did cross on penny farthings?

Tim Johnson So to now be at this point where cross is the discipline that I can focus on is amazing.

schmalz Yeah, cross is really catching on. I’m ashamed to say I don’t know much about it.  I fear dirt.

Tim Johnson it’s ok…cross is going to blow up in NYC.

schmalz Are you threatening the city?

Tim Johnson Once the gearless and brakeless decide that it’s OK to have both. On the same bike.

schmalz Whoa, are you trying to make me shave my irony stash?

Tim Johnson I flew thru Newark yesterday and customs processed me ‘downstairs’…I was getting worried that I’d be like Hanks in Terminal. Turns out that they just wanted to let me know that my name is really ‘generic’. I said ‘thanks’

schmalz In their defense, it kind of is…

Tim Johnson Yeah, but my middle name saves me

schmalz Is it "vacuum"?

Tim Johnson Mackenzie. That’s not nice. 

schmalz Mackenzie? As in Phillips? Well, vacuum in the scientific sense like an absense of air, not the dirty way.

Tim Johnson Don’t ask me for the last 4 digits of my SSN…3464

schmalz Did you turn on the famous Tim Johnson niceness and get out of customs?

Tim Johnson Shit, now I’ve been compromised.

schmalz Mother’s maiden name? Street you grew up on?

Tim Johnson Yeah, the dude was interested in whether or not I had soil. I said ‘not on this trip’. If he’d only asked me after the last 3 times I’d been to Europe.

schmalz Soil? Who smuggles soil?

Tim Johnson One thing I can’t chance now is getting on a no-fly list or watch list. Riding to DC has it’s challenges and I don’t want to add in any other barriers. Barriers. Get it?

schmalz You’ll have to keep your gravel collection at home. Barriers, that’s cross humor right? I’m so new to this.

Tim Johnson It’s ok. Don’t worry about it. It is kind of highbrow.

schmalz What’s the latest cool lingo you crossers are using? I want to drop some lingo and seem cool.

Tim Johnson We like to use "wattage", "compression socks", "banana hammocks"—really keeps things fresh.

schmalz Cool, wait until the guys with one gear hear about this! "I compressed my wattage into my banana hammock."

Tim Johnson Nice. They’ll be stoked I’m sure…or maybe nonplussed.

schmalz: I will be king of Brooklyn! Too bad I shaved today.

Tim Johnson Me too. Isn’t that weird?

schmalz: What do you have planned for your time in New York?

Tim Johnson We’re going to be staying at the Hudson, so probably just hanging around and looking cool.

schmalz I think there’s some bike races that weekend (March 5th and 6th) you should go and tell everyone what they’re doing wrong.

Tim Johnson But more likely we’ll be meeting up with people that have been so supportive of the ride already…we’re having receptions each night and NYC should be a good one. My party planner Richard Fries has something up his sleeve.

schmalz You shouldn’t have shaved today. Well, everyone knows that a Richard Fries party is a party that don’t stop. As a crosser, do you have to sleep in dirt? (I’m still learning about cross).

Tim Johnson It’s not quite like stage racing. We do get to sleep in hotels at night. The dirt thing seems to be a sticking point. Do you know that there are cross races that are on pavement almost the entire time? They’re pretty fun, but cornering on tires with 25psi is a little sketchy.

schmalz Pavement? Isn’t that called a sand crit? Dammit! Cross is so hard to understand! I’m afraid someone from Portland is going to read this and make fun of me.

Tim Johnson The there’s Crossvegas where it’s almost all grass…don’t worry about those guys from PDX. They like most things, but just don’t say it outloud.

schmalz My stupid brain is filled with road race info and episodes of Hardcastle and McCormick. Plus, I’m really tired (and drunk) by the time autumn rolls around.

Tim Johnson I thought that was the time that you started to get into the drunken groove. You know, in control.

schmalz Well, it takes some interval work beforehand, but yeah it comes around then.

Tim Johnson Practice makes perfect!

schmalz How has the cross scene changed? You know, besides the groupies and private jets…

Tim Johnson We had 50 people total at the those first cross races and had 300 or 400 at Nationals. Now we’ll have 1200 or 1500 at the biggest regional races and I think we had almost 2500 racers at Nationals.

schmalz 2500?! Do they race piggy back?

Tim Johnson US cross is so different from Euro cross in that respect…there are 50 elites and 50k fans. I think we’ll be hitting critical mass soon and might need to change a few things to make it easier for people to race at nats.

schmalz Ah, who has the best cross skillz out there?

Tim Johnson The best skillz? Like, with a z?

schmalz Yes, I am king of Brooklyn…

Tim Johnson That might be Zach Macdonald. He seems to be pretty good at riding that bike of his. Too bad Powers wasn’t spelled Powerz.

schmalz Yeah, everything should be spelled Motly Crùe style. I can’t find a proper umlaut on my keyboard, but you get the idea

Tim Johnson Vince Neil does sound oddly French. The accent really makes it. No, don’t go changing. Judas Priest is kind of French, too.

schmalz Yeah, much Frencher than Night Ranger. But Sister Christian sounds like a French song.

Tim Johnson I have a visitor that is insisting on speaking to you for a moment.

schmalz This isn’t that customs agent is it?

Tim Johnson He’s unable to make himself a coffee with my machine. I’ll pull it for him and he can speak to you in the meantime. He’s kind of an enigma and I told him that I would only allow it if he agreed to ride to NYC with us. That’s about 1000% farther than he’s actually able to ride, so I though he’d say no. But he didn’t.

Tim Johnson stand in @cdelinks is here. I’m sorry.

schmalz Hmmm, is it Matt Damon? That’s the only person from MA I can think of.

Tim Johnson stand in Matt Damon is a pussy.

schmalz Tim! Don’t say that!

Tim Johnson stand in I’m here. No more Tim. Would you like to ask me anything important?

schmalz Tim, if you can hear me, someone is disparaging Matt Damon.  It’s you duty as a Massachusian to slap him!

Tim Johnson stand in Dan, Mike Creed said he would donate to Das Pro.  What’s your problem?  Seriously, Tim’s out of the room, ask me anything.  I have no censor. And I love Matt Damon. What have you guys been talking about?

schmalz Firstly, you cannot believe a word that comes out fo the mouth of Mike Creed, he said we’d be together forevere, and look how that turned out.

Tim Johnson stand in Are you guys divorced now?

schmalz It’s complicated.

Tim Johnson stand in I can understand that. You’ve spent a lot of time this week releasing information.

schmalz Among other things.

Tim Johnson stand in Who’s your source?

schmalz (I’m gassy) Well, source for which stuff?

Tim Johnson stand in Dude, it’s gluten. For videos, audio, etc…

schmalz Um, we probably can’t exactly say…

Tim Johnson stand in Hmmmm.  Serious question:  Do you feel, at any point, the doping allegations become moot?

schmalz But you know the world of bikes on the internet, sometimes it’s like a really big game of D&D. Full of intrigue and virgins.

Tim Johnson stand in Never played… I love virgins

schmalz Moot, in which sense?

Tim Johnson stand in Are you riding to DC? In the sense that at some point everyone knows about it but stops caring…

schmalz And leave my house!?

Tim Johnson stand in I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but just recently I feel like so many people know, so what’s the point of exposing.

schmalz There is a lot of fatigue about the doping stuff, but if we had anyone except a band of clowns running the sport, I think a lot of that stuff would go away.

Tim Johnson stand in So you look at it on a deeper level than so and so is doping. UCI/WADA problems

schmalz Goodness yes. Yeah, in my mind they have little or no credibility.

Tim Johnson stand in I can see that. But do you really think it can change?

schmalz: We shall see.

Tim Johnson stand in I guess. Might take a Libyan-scaled revolt.

schmalz There may be things coming that could shake things up radically.

Tim Johnson stand in Interesting. Did you reach out for info or has the mole contacted you?

schmalz It’s happened both ways. When Lance came back, we were the first to report his comeback (sorry VN, it’s true).

Tim Johnson Ok, I’m back… this stand in thing was pretty sweet!

schmalz That was a weird "deep throat" call to us.  Um, who was your stand in?

Tim Johnson The nyvelocity as a news source is a source of pride.

schmalz Hopefully not Pat McQuaid.

Tim Johnson I’m proud.  I just can’t wait til Toto is quoted somewhere…

schmalz Well, we can’t do a lot of news. It’s basically just two of us. People always tell us we should be following this story or investigating someone (usually a masters rider who beat them in a local crit), but we don’t make any money and this is a part time thing for us.

Tim Johnson Haha, digging deep on and off the bike. You guys kick ass…true independence has got to be an asset.

schmalz Yeah, lots of other sites with ties to cycling get "pressure". Even calls to their bosses.

Tim Johnson Our industry is only so big really? It goes that far, eh?

schmalz Yup, It’s crazy, it’s only bikes.

Tim Johnson I leared a very valuable lesson a earlier in my career…

schmalz "Never listen to that Creed guy"?

Tim Johnson that is, I race and ride bikes because I think it’s fun. I have a career based around that fact and I had to really come to a conclusion about how much I wanted to race to win. I chose to ride my bike just because I liked it.

schmalz Yeah, enjoying your racing can really set you free, do you think you’re a minority in that thinking?

Tim Johnson Creed… I will always hate the apple app store for not making an app available from 2004-2007 that allowed me to permanently record my voicemail messages. He left me some real doozies. I don’t think I’m a minority in real life, but I was most definitely a minority in the ProTour.

schmalz That sounds a bit miserable for the Pro Tour guys. And Creed wanted me to ask you why you were the whitest guy ever.

Tim Johnson I tan up pretty nice.  I also listen to Eminem. That’s cool, right?

schmalz What? I can’t hear you, I have Foghat on really loud here.

Tim Johnson Are you at work now? They let you play that in your cubicle?

schmalz I work at home for my own darn self. That’s why the site’s never been turned off.

Tim Johnson Sick. Me too. Except when I’m on the road. Gotta wonder when people twitter from morning til the next morning. Not that I’m not a victim of that victimless crime myself.

schmalz I get tired at ten. And by tired I mean tipsy.

Tim Johnson But then again. Sometimes it just makes you tired. Did you just say that? But really, I have to split.

schmalz I forget, I may have been tired. Tim, thanks for the chat, and we hope to see you in NYC.

Tim Johnson Heading to the store to buy some stuff for the renovation. And I’m not going to Home Depot. That’s for the guys that do the work themselves.

schmalz And I promise to not rob you too much.

Tim Johnson Rob me anytime and please help us ride where we won’t be robbed. Will you meet us?  Have a beer with us?

schmalz When will you be near New York?

Tim Johnson Show us how to ride a bike path the right way?

schmalz You had me at beer.

Tim Johnson We arrive in NYC on Saturday the 5th in the afternoon.

schmalz Cool, we can arrange something.

Tim Johnson We will leave Hartford, stop by Bethel and pick up some Cannondale employees and then continue into the city. That’s where the Forrest Gump part comes in. We want to meet up with anyone that wants to meet up with us

schmalz Running really fast?

Tim Johnson The next morning we head to Philly… He just runs. And keeps running.