We accosted Liz Hatch and her teammate Leigh in Vegas for a picture of the shirt she was wearing (as we were taking pictures of everything cat at the Interbike show – really). We took the shot, posted the picture and then everyone wanted to know who was in the picture. Liz outed herself in a comment to the site, the rest as they say is history. Here’s Liz’s recap of the Vegas enocounter:

I was pretty weirded out when you guys came up to me and asked if you could take a picture of my shirt. My teammate, Leigh was disgusted too, which you can clearly see on her face. I guess my hangover allowed my judgment to lapse momentarily, and you got your picture. But really, the joke is on you guys – if you think about it, since I’m now going to be writing for your site. HAHAHAHA! Karma’s a bitch!

Yes that’s right! Liz Hatch will be contributing to Velocity Nation. She likes racing bikes, beer and making fun of me, hard to think how she’ll be able to fit in. Here’s an interview as an introduction.

schmalz First off, where are you currently?

Hatch I’m at Vanderkitten Headquarters at the moment. It’s in a top secret location in Northern California, very "Batman-like" with all the security and whatnot. We have a ’63 dune buggy with the Vanderkitten logo on the hood instead of a Batmobile though. Should make a good race support car.

schmalz What was it like to run into the prettiest person at interbike? Um, yeah, I’m talking about myself there…

Hatch It was like flying too close to the sun, exhilarating and scary. And hot. Very hot… I still begin to sweat when I think about our brief encounter.

schmalz I understand the sweating from the encounter – my man musk has that effect, in fact it made Andy Shen break into a rash last year at Interbike – no question there, just saying…

Hatch Man, if I can have anything in common with Andy Shen beyond his humor, I’ll take the rash you gave him any day.

schmalz Uh oh, you’re going to give Andy a big head and he will intolerable at the VCN office – well, we don’t really have an actual office, our offices are a little imaginary right now. But the good thing about having imaginary offices is that you can decorate any way you want. Can you name anyone else that has a unicorn stenographer? I didn’t think so.

Hatch Any man that sees the utter absurdity that Commesso ever made it as a bike gamer is genius in my book. Come on, that’s good stuff! Also, how does this unicorn stenographer work? They don’t have thumbs. Or is his horn a big pencil?

schmalz Unicorns can write with their minds! But they have to photocopy with their horns.

Hatch So, Unicorn’s horns are like laser beams?

schmalz And the Toto Commesso obsession is mine; I just shared the disease with Andy. Sad I know – but it’s all I have. And I’m so much more than just a pretty face! Speaking of, I have a big problem being objectified all the time (Andy constantly insists that I wear "something slinky" when we go to Vegas), this may not happen to you as often as it happens to me, but how do you deal with it? I usually just charge for man hugs…

Hatch I don’t look good in slinky. I have really bad tanlines. Next time Andy bullies you just stay in your dirty chamois, bikin’ clothes are pretty slinky. Just make sure you wear your tightest bibs, the ones that really accentuate your bits-n-pieces. You know what I’m talking about. And roll your sleeves Toto style, Andy will go crazy for you then!

schmalz Tightest bibs – always – I have to crush the onions, if you know what I mean…

Hatch Crush the onions? Are you mad?!? Never crush your boys, it’s all about lifting and separating, Schmalz.

schmalz Mmm-kay. How and when did you get into the sport?

Hatch I started racing last year and spent a good part of the season in Belgium racing "for fun" but did really well and was hooked. I had been a long time fan of the sport but had a sucky boyfriend who wouldn’t actually let me buy a bike. Probably for good reason because shortly after I procured my first steed I went on a reeeeeeally long training ride and never came home.

schmalz About Belgium – that’s pretty much a Mecca for bikes and moustaches – was it a lot of fun or was it like going to Disneyland (not Disney World – which is awesome!)? You know, very hyped but very sad at the same time?

Hatch Funny you should say Disneyland/world. I actually told my friends that for me, Belgium is my own personal Disneyland/world. In fact, perhaps some nice family there would like to adopt a poor American girl??? Any takers? I do dishes and laundry really well! Belgium is by far my favorite place on earth(besides Texas). There I said it; I’m in love with Belgium.

schmalz What was the racing like in Belgium? Was the style much different from US racing?

Hatch The racing there, for me, was A+. People actually come and watch the women, regardless of the weather or the time of day or whether or not the men are racing after you. I somehow ended up with a fan club. It seems to happen to all the girls. Locals come out, watch you race, decide that you’re their favorite and you’ll end up seeing them on the sidelines every week yelling for you. One nice couple would figure out what races I was going to be at next week and they would bring me water bottles in case my "help" missed giving me one on the other side of the course. It’s so deeply ingrained in their culture, cycling, that it’s really hard to explain the normalcy of it to anyone who hasn’t been there. Eventually I’d like to spend a full season racing for a Flemish team. Plus there are almost always showers for you to use after the race which was nice. Driving home dirty sucks.

schmalz Having a fan club must be great! Did you abuse your powers at all? I think I would have them give me cupcakes in the slow sections of the course.

Hatch Cupcakes. Good idea, I’ll take note. But actually I prefer a good beer, maybe I’ll require a cold Westmalle Tripel to be handed to me after my races. And I really think we need to work on having Podium Boys at our races. It’s only fair, right?

schmalz Podium boys? I’m all for it, but I’m pretty booked already. Not to sure if the crowds are ready for the full onion treatment anyway.

Hatch How about Andy? How does he feel about crowds???

schmalz Andy is much more of a shrinking violet than I am.

Hatch So I guess I have to keep working on the podium boy thing.

schmalz Mmmm, Belgian beer, in heaven the beer is made in Belgium, in hell it’s made in Utah.

Hatch And now you see why I love Belgium. Bikes, Beer and Boonen.

schmalz Ahh, Mr. Boonen, Captain faux-hawk. I tease him because I envy him so.

Hatch I envy him. Don’t worry; it’s just a natural reaction.

schmalz Is racing and training in California nice? And before you answer – you must imagine that I picture in California that you go on training rides and then native birds clutch your jersey with their talons and gently lift you home, where you grab handfuls of grains and nuts from the side of the road as you enter your home and then you get backrubs from very friendly declawed wolverines. Is it like that? I might be a little off on that one.

Hatch California is great, but I like gritty. Give me rain,cold and cobbles any day. I’m not much of a mountain goat, so I never make it far enough up the hills to have these so called "native birds" carry me home. Besides most of the fun of going up a hill is bombing down it! Screw the birds; I’ll get down on my own.

schmalz Are west coast cyclists soft? We here in the north east think so because you guys never have to race with frozen water bottles, and we also think that because we’re myopic nut jobs…

Hatch I’m from the Republic of Texas so personally I think all you outsiders are soft. Have ever heard of the Alamo, dude?!? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

schmalz What were the highlights of last year’s season for you? Any big wins? Will you be doing cross?

Hatch You mean ’06 or ’07? 2006 was a steep learning curve, I did pretty well though. Lot’s of top 5 placings. This year I won 6 races which I’m pretty friggin happy with since I didn’t have any teammates. Next year Vanderkitten will be an NRC team though so I’ll look to move that win number up a bit.

I guess one "highlight" stands out though and that was a girl puking on my leg in a race. She kept right on racing though so I had serious respect for her. Yeah, that was pretty rad.

schmalz Tell us about your relationship with Vanderkitten, do they own your soul or are they just renting? I ask because I thought VCN was just going to rent mine, but Alex and Andy had me sign something in the pale moonlight, so I couldn’t read it very well…

Hatch Vanderkitten owns my soul. But truthfully I couldn’t have better owners. The guys take better care of me than they take care of themselves most of the time. Plus they dress me up in cute outfits. Since they are a clothing company and stuff.

schmalz What was your first race like?

Hatch I crashed into a row of bushes and then ended up third.

schmalz What was the dumbest "advice" you’ve ever gotten from some knucklehead while out riding?

Hatch “Keep the rubber side down.” I hate that. No shit. However the best advice I’ve ever gotten was "never sacrifice your style for a result" from a very stylish Italian friend of mine… Ok, looking back on it perhaps that’s not going to win me a lot of races but I’ll look damn good while losing. That counts right?

schmalz You’re pretty new to cycling, how did you develop your training program? Do you have a coach? Do you use the old power meter?

Hatch Training. Well, until about a week ago I didn’t have a coach. I just went out and rode my bike. They call it training by feeling, very old school. Now I have a coach who I think is going to be my secret weapon and I’m dead excited to see how the legs will feel next year.

schmalz Oh, I think I forgot to mention that you’re talking to the New York City Ladies’ sprint champion…

Hatch Well congrats on that! If you can’t join ‘em beat ‘em, eh?

schmalz If you have any roller skillz and you’re in NYC, you will have to come to our roller races – which are just a party with indoor racing happening at the same time. It is winter, after all.

Hatch Roller skillz, yeah… I’ll have to brush up on those. But I’m not opposed to sacrificing myself for a good laugh. Whatever gets the people going, right?