schmalz So now that you’re on the East Coast and a pro again, we can talk about racing. What’s your impression of the East Coast races you’ve done so far?

creed Good, the road race on Saturday was cool. Sunday was small but OK, and Monday (Somerville) was as scary as it gets. It was really easy to sit in and move up to 10th or so in line. A lot of guys would rush up to the front and stall there. So, I spent most the race trying to not watch the craziness. 

schmalz Was Monday your first time at Somerville? And you hit the top ten Sunday at Somerset Hills, didn’t you?

creed Yeah, first time at Somerville. It was cool, just scary. I got in the winning move in the road race, but I flatted with 4k to go, so I was done after that. But it was a cool race anyway. 

schmalz Look at you, coming into some form. How are things at the team house? Are you guys sleeping in bunk beds? Do you have to sleep head to toe with a teammate, or do you just spoon together?

creed No bunk beds. Everyone has their own bed and room. The training is really good here. Up and down all day, little traffic, almost no traffic lights. Not much to do though. Some guys bought some bottle rockets, so that killed 30 min. 

schmalz Are illegal fireworks the only entertainment? What does Mike Creed do with his spare time in PA?

creed Creed feed. And I watch the Giro from my phone. 

schmalz Oh, dear God, you must be nearly suicidal! Why don’t you steal the team van and drive to the FBF race tonight?

creed It’s going to rain, eh?

schmalz It’s on — rain or shine, this ain’t NECKCAR.

creed Ha, don’t think they’ll let me steal a car. Feel free to send your private plane though. Anyway, you backed out on letting me crash at your pad. 

schmalz I will send my private plane as soon as I’m done folding it out of construction paper. And backing out implies there was an offer, I think you may have reality issues. What’s your take on the Giro?

creed Reality issues? For sure. The Giro seems pretty good so far. Wish I could have seen the TT. Sounded epic.  What about the Lance vs media battle? Seems strange, eh?

schmalz It seems that Lance just wants to do his own interviews and press releases, maybe he’s trying out for Ellen Degeneres’ gig as a talk show host? It also doesn’t seem like he’s very good as a domestique…

creed No? I missed it, what happened? 

schmalz It seems that Lance doesn’t have the domestique mindset. In stage 16 Levi flatted, and Lance didn’t fall back immediately like you would expect. He must be out of practice…

creed Ah, yeah. Who knows. I didn’t see it. Maybe he didn’t know?

schmalz Maybe, but it would seem odd to not get the news that your team leader has flatted. In years past, Lance always had an armada of guys around him, so it wasn’t even necessary to hear about anything through the radios. I guess times have changed.

You are riding another new bike this season, this time an Orbea; I’m going to give you an opportunity to be a good racer and tell us how much you like it. And I noticed that before when you were on Rock, there was a typo on your Kestrel frame, they spelled Kestrel C-E-R-V-E-L-O…

creed Yeah, it was the newer model of Kestrel, the Cervelo model. Seems the Rock forgot to give me one. Silly geese. I wasn’t crying about it either, Cervelo was more than fine. 

The Orbea is working out real good. It took a bit of getting used to, but it’s starting to feel like my bike now. The geometry was pretty different, so I was really sketchy for the first crits, but I’m ok now. Man, I’m just happy to race again. 

I didn’t see it, but I would bet that there was 6 or 7 Astana guys in the group. Unlike the Disco days when they would have 7 out of 25 guys. Also, on decents, or windy sections or can’t always hear the radio, so he might have been unaware. 

Anyway, we should make up a conspiracy theory about it. Maybe Levi ate Lance’s cereal? Lance was mad? Who’s going to win the in media war? It would stop after the Giro wouldn’t it?

schmalz It happened on a climb, and I think that there were 3 or 4 Astanas up there in the group. One guy gave Levi his wheel, while Lance was up the road a bit, Lance eventually came back from the pink jersey group to help pace Levi back, so he did end up doing the domestique thing – it just seemed like it took a long time. It’s a tempest in a teakettle perhaps, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start a conspiracy theory. I like the cereal idea. Maybe we could push it further, and say Levi keeps leaving the toilet lid up on the team bus.

creed Yeah, I like it. It’s hard to pee strait on a bus too. Gotta put the seat up. 

schmalz So what has been the reason for you recent resurgence in form? Pilates? Jazzercise? What’s the Creed midseason comeback training plan?

creed Just racing. I just need to race. I’m really not all that fit, just not unfit. On Rock, I just did Redlands and Joe Martin. It’s kind of hard to race well against guys who are constantly racing. It’s good to do these crits; it’s something I’m not very good at, so it’s good to train your weaknesses. Which for me is explosive power. 

I’ll do CSC and the Air Force Road race and go home. Then rest up and do Nature Valley. You racing? You still posting your powerfiles?

schmalz I have been racing since March, I post my race files occasionally, if I’m not feeling too lazy. I post my training numbers through the winter to help keep the site alive and to motivate myself to ride my bike. But you’re captain SRM, aren’t you? Whip out some of those Creed numbers!

creed I am king of SRM. I just got a new lime green one to match my kit. Man, in these crits, if you hit the front and you’re not doing over 500-550 watts, you’re going to get passed quickly. In the middle of the group, you going to be doing 200 or lower. It’s pretty much all or nothing. 

schmalz Do you think that’s an East Coast style of racing or is it just a crit style of racing? Is the style of racing different on the East Coast?

creed I’m used to NRC racing, or Colorado racing, so maybe I’m the goose. But on the East Coast they’ll stop racing the race and race you for position. You could have 20 laps to go and be in 20th spot, and someone will try and squeeze you. I’m not whining or anything, I can take care of  myself; but if I were to offer up any advice, I’d said to relax a bit and not waste energy and risk skin over nothing. Doing little surges all race can tax you at the end. 

Not to mention if you crash, you crash. You should always make it a goal to not crash. FYI. 

schmalz Did you know that Boonen partied so much when you were teammates at Discovery?

creed Pate and I went out with him the night after I-23 champs in Lisbon. I think we out did him that night though. 

Ah, I don’t know about Boonen. My first reaction is that if it’s not a UCI positive and he’s being tested for sporting reasons, who cares? It shouldn’t be brought to light.  I just don’t know who tested him/for what reason and what his country’s laws are. 

You could make the "role model" argument, but to believe that people are infallible 365 days out of the year is ignorant. You better believe he was training like a mad man for the classics and was a role model during those months. I’m just not convinced that should go all away because of a reckless night out. 

schmalz It seems like out of competition positives for party drugs are more a concern as far as addiction goes, but to sanction him for an out of competition test seems a little harsh. I would probably have them recommend rehab for him instead of keeping him out of races. Speaking of Pate did you see his 3rd place in the Giro the other day?

creed Yeah, I was out training and hitting the refresh on my phone over and over again. I was worried when Scarpoini bridged across. But it was a awesome ride anyway. 

schmalz I think Pate will score one soon, it has to be tough for him going in those long breaks and not getting the wins, but I think it will happen. And who doesn’t like themselves some Pate?

creed Not anyone I know. 

This portion of the interview follows after an interlude of about a week or so – Mr. Creed is a very busy man!

schmalz So will you miss the East Coast racing when you go home after Philly? Your team did get a win at Ricola…

creed No Philly for me. I came a bit late to the team to bump someone off. So I’m home now. Next race is Nature Valley. I do miss the training already. And yeah, the racing was really good. 

schmalz You dodged a speeding schmalz bullet by not racing at FBF, I can tell you were afraid.

creed Yeah, I didn’t want to get blown away, so I stayed away. You smell fear?

schmalz I can both smell and taste fear, which is oddly a taste akin to blanched asparagus. How did the new teammates handle their "Creed Time"? Anyone left weeping after your visit?

creed Nah, I think they like me. Why did you hear something? Joe Eldridge and I hit it off. Could be a hetro life mate. 

schmalz It’s good to see you finally work something out with a nice boy, it’s been an eventful couple of months, hasn’t it?

creed Yeah, it was cool to finally focus on racing again. Knowing when I’m going to race is nice. It’s all good man. Is the media still boycotting Lance twitters? Or tweets, tweeteries, or twaters?

schmalz Well, I think he’s blocked us, but I’m not sure we count as media though. Any chance of a Creed Tweet coming soon?

creed Nah man, I’m not really so interesting that I need to update people on a consistent basis. Which is why I wonder about you guys. Anyway, the only twitter worth following is Kenny Powers. Who’s twitter do you follow?

schmalz Well, I follow the NYVC twits, as I usually don’t write them. It’s tough, because most twits usually end up making the people you admire seem like your aunt with lots of cats. Why do you wonder about us? We’re so interesting!

creed Interesting indeed.  I’m going say something and you give me a short answer ok?  

schmalz Is this like a knock-knock joke?

creed No.

schmalz Did I miss something?

creed Midfoot cleat.

schmalz Midfoot Cleat? Aren’t they an Emo band from Madison, Wisconsin?

creed Power cranks.

schmalz Power Cranks? Are you coming on to me? What would Joe say?

creed PSP or WII?

schmalz I think WWI could’ve been prevented if only the major powers of the day hadn’t been entangled in ridiculous alliances.

creed Yeah? WW2?

schmalz WW2 was basically the reaction to the upheavels brought about by the extreme terms placed upon the losers of WWI. Terms they couldn’t hope to meet. But more importantly, how do you feel about Biopace?

creed The French always fuck it up. 

schmalz But wasn’t the French version of Biopace just a heated discussion followed by a nice glass of wine? Ok, we just had a weird interlude there – it there anything you’d like to say to the people to end this travesty of language?

creed I would like to apologize to anyone who attempted to read this. By far the worst interview ever. And while I don’t advocate killing the messenger, I think this is a good time to. And that’s schmalz. Track him down and hang him by his toes.

schmalz Oh great another blood feud, just what I need.