Preview
Stage 1
Stage 2
Stage 3
Stage 4
Stage 5
Stage 6
Stage 7
Stage 8
Last day of wiki TdSchmalz, and I’m hanging on by my fingernails. How does the gnome do it?
Check out this photo of Contador with an evil grin. Michael Boogerd has found his heir in the pro ranks.
I’m running on empty with Schmalz snark, so I will comment in the grand writing style of Sally Jenkins. Read this if you’d like to play along.
Today’s stage hits two of the most soul cleansing climbs of the Tour, the Col d’Aspin and the Col du Tourmalet. Armstrong’s dry cleaner once told me something that I’ll never forget: you can’t really launder someone’s soul, but Lance would drop his off every once in a while nevertheless. This whole comeback is all about confronting his demons head on, so expect Lance to ride behind five teammates the entire day and roll in with a great big pack.
Jens is in a break with Porn hair Pellizotti (and some dude named Fedrigo)! Jens likes to talk religion during races because it purifies him. It also helps to remind him that pro athletes are mostly not deep thinkers. Franco, on the other hand, worships at the altar of Paul Mitchell.
Bawm Chicka Bawm attack! Jens is popped, is forced to discuss Catholicism with himself.
Even Cadel’s DS thinks his move yesterday was stupid?
“I think we won’t see any other big moves until the Alps in the final week, but you never know,†the Silence-Lotto race director, Hendrik Redant, said. “We can’t just make moves without planning, like a chicken without its head. Cadel knows he must make up three minutes, and that won’t be easy.â€
A lotta people said this would be a tough first week, but after some initial fireworks it’s really sucked. What a waste of the Tourmalet.
VeloNews reports that there’s someone dressed as Jesus on the Tourmalet. Jens thinks he’s hallucinating.
Fedrigo struggles with his zipper while descending. Yikes!
New CFA post: http://cyclingfansanonymous.blogspot.com/2009/07/sunday-update_11.html
Where I come from a Nocentini is three parts vodka, one part vermouth and whatever blood you have left in the fridge. Raspberry eau-de-vie for the squeamish.
CFA is predicting increasing grouchiness from Cadel, which should make for interesting post race interviews. Someone please shove a microphone in his face!
And there’s two of us here now! The rest of NY in a media cave so they can watch later tonight at the BXL party. Ugh.
It’ll be a shame if Pellizotti wins today, as all of Schmalz’s hair jokes will go unused.
There’s a 276 mile transfer to the next stage. The riders will fly, all other schmoes have to drive.
Armstrong catches Jens, Jens thinks he’s still hallucinating and seen the devil.
There really is a documentary crew following Armstrong’s every move, directed by Alex Gibney (Taxi to the Dark Side, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room). It’ll be interesting to see if Gibney starts doing some real fact finding. If he makes a puff piece it’ll be a real pockmark on an impressive resumé. In other news, Toto is completely based on reality.
Here’s an article on the documentary.
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-armstrong7-2009jul07,0,5063722.story
No cave here, just limited iPhone battery time. That’s funny about Cadel’s DS, here’s a thought – how about finding 8 guys who won’t lose the Tour for Cadel? But I suppose he isn’t used to Cadel attacking. I sense some hard riding today before the rest day
Wow, Tendam looks like he isn’t spooked by his crash at all.
Nocentini is so lively today even Phil is able to locate him. Never a good sign.
From Bonnie Ford’s twitter: Garmin d.s. Matt White on what car-to-rider radio does or doesn’t add: “Well, it depends on who’s on the radio, doesn’t it?” Great point.
White is remarkably calm on the radio, even when Garmin was down to 5 in the TTT. If you saw Blood Sweat and Gears you’d know that JV is much more of a spaz on the radio.
Caisse and Columbia chasing, Amber Alert issued for Cavendish.
I’ve always wondered why the Hog was so attached to race radios. He always seems adamant about needing them. What’s he saying that’s so important? Is he afraid that Levi will find out that other riders don’t need to forage for their own meals by the roadside?
Or is the Hog afraid that Berto won’t hear his constant chant of “Wait for Lance, wait for Lance”?
Ugh, we’re in a chalkbot zone here. So sick of that thing.
Maybe we can write the next toto on the chaklbot? Is there a character for ham?
Dropped riders are going to have a hard day. The pack that got over the Tourmalet is huge and chasing hard.
The chorus of LA haters is as dopey as the cult of the LA faithful
Paul reading from the guidebook about the world’s most boring tower. It has rectangular windows!
Chris Henry sent more start photos, including one of Linus. Schmalz’s hamster heart just went a pitter patter. Will post soon.
Some awesome trash talk from VDV at the VeloNews live update: http://tour-de-france.velonews.com/live
Levi said he doesn’t expect to see Wiggins climbing so well in the Alps, and VDV said the same could be said about Levi.
I call BS. What the hell is with the LA jersey on the graphic and when did that become one of the “official” jerseys on the TdF.
Pelli forcing Fedrigo to do all the work.
He might’ve gone too early.
Yep. Sad day for pizza deliverers everywhere.
Fedrigo has now beaten Toto and Pelli for Tour stages!
the LA jersey is only an official TdF jersey on Versus. It lets them keep their hard ons about him no matter where he is.
hearing bob roll say “kaith day parnya” is classic roll…