It’s day two of wiki TdSchmalz. We got a great livestock reference yesterday (Poor Nocentini will be toyed with like one of those cappuchin monkeys strapped to a border collie at the Calgary Stampede), but no awkward declarations of man crushes. Step up, people!
Preview
Stage 1
Stage 2
Stage 3
Stage 4
Stage 5
Stage 6
Stage 7
Today’s a dry hump of a mountain day, with two Category 1 climbs and one Category 2, but no summit finish. There is, however a chance for a little drama. Bruyneel would want Nocentini to hang on to the jersey so AG2R will have to do all the work in the transitional stages coming up, but ‘Berto might want to drop him and take the jersey so Armstrong will be forced to hold back in the Alps. ‘Berto may not care if the team gets burned out by getting the jersey too soon, since he figures half of them aren’t on his side anyways.
Yesterday we saw ‘Berto attack and Armstrong forced to follow the chase. Is this going to be the pattern from now on? First guy to attack and stick it gets the time gains? Having ‘Berto on the team may turn out to be a hindrance to Armstrong, as he’ll be forced to hold back or be criticized for being a bad teammate. This is the exact opposite situation compared to the Postal days, when great climbers like Heras were bought and made to ride support. Look for Armstrong and Contador to elbow each other in order to attack first come stage 15.
Reading material. As always, the great CFA:
http://cyclingfansanonymous.blogspot.com/2009/07/friday-update.html
and the Sports Scientists:
http://www.sportsscientists.com/2009/07/tour-2009-first-mountain-stage-report.html
Berto ain’t worried about Armstrong having to hold back in the Alps, his concern is not letting Armstrong get in yellow so he has to hold back.
He has the ability and confidence to put the little Texan in his place.
Interesting to see if either one of them will respect yellow jersey. So far they’re trying to talk a good team game but it’s hardly contained.
While Lance can’t beat Contador in a fair fight, he has made a pretty incredible comeback. But he won’t be satisfied without a win, no matter what kind of act he puts on.
A crowd pleasing attack for ninth in an Agriboot stage win that leaves AG2r in yellow…
One for the scrapbook Bruyneel, you cagey bastard.
Dear Schmalz,
I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. I’ve witnessed the usual signals; the phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, “just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I always try and to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my bikes so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with ‘the girls’. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open. It was at that very moment, crouching behind my bikes, I noticed a slight crack in the frame of my beloved full-carbon Pinarello Prince, two inches behind the headset. Is this something I can fix myself, or should I take it back to the shop?
Concerned Roadie
Does the Hors Catagorie climb fall under the auspices of an open marriage? Ladies?
Thor SMASH in the early break and took over the green from Cav
Somewhere in Iowa, Schmalz just had a wet dream.
“Does the Hors Catagorie climb fall under the auspices of an open marriage? Ladies?”
Huh?
Schmalz’s interview with THOR.
Effing hilarious!
Hey everyone, just back from racing and eating asphalt this morning. Will post a picture of David Anthony’s hand in a sec.
Andy, can you also post a picture of the shiner i gave you while slap fighting in one of the sprints?
I sprint only to get around you. I think I managed that twice today?
So back to the race. Does everyone think Contador can beat Armstrong in the TT? If not, how much time will he need?
Andy Schleck attacks! Someone told him there’s a My Little Pony prime for first to the top.
Mikhail Ignatiev’s stock is falling faster than his Canadian counterpart, Michael Ignatieff.
Cycle Sport twitter is saying that Schleck is forcing Contador into yellow so that Astana will have to work all the way to the Alps.
Astana goes to the front to slow things down to keep Contador out of yellow. Talk about backwards day.
So glad Astana’s back in the Tour, so they can mass at the front and ride slowly. Yay.
Q: what does it say when more people are on the site during a workday than not?
A: never hire a cyclist?
Damn this stage is a snoozer. They probably get more money putting the finish in a town instead of mountaintop, but come on!
Phil doing the Lance is infallible shtick again. “Lance could’ve ridden across the gap to Contador if he wanted to.”
Other things Lance can do but just chooses not to:
invent flying car
invent jetpack
turn water into wine
not be a dick
G/F’s knowledge of cycling is that a bike has two wheels, but still thinks LA is a douche for wearing a diff. helmet than the rest of the Borats. I believe that brings the phallometer to 93.
and andy, are you ok?
I’m fine, but send good thoughts David Anthony’s way.
LL Sanchez takes it with a clever sprint. I guess I have to say France just kicked the cat?
what happened to the no-spoilers-on-homepage rule?
7:22am might be the best comment ever.
I suggest you check with Calfee, they can anything carbon.
Peloton John, does your G/F realize that Lance is still trying to promote Livestrong while riding this year? Maybe you should let her know that his helmet is in the Livestrong colors. And if a different colored helmet makes someone a douche, then an entirely different kit makes someone else (cough*Contador*cough) King Douche.
I’d suggest that your G/F’s opinions shouldn’t count towards the phallometer.
Spoilers: sorry, just too lazy to set up that super secret page again. No spoiler policy seems outdated now with all the info on websites and twitter. Whats the consensus? If there’s an outcry we can revert.
LA is still posting his videos on Livestrong.COM, the for-profit site, so judges say phallometer stays at 93.
Moved to Off Topic
Moved to Off Topic
Moved to Off Topic
This a cycling news site, so how can anything posted here be a spoiler? If people want to stay uninformed, they can unplug their devices or move to a cave for the month of July.
Sarcastic anti-doping Twitter, down to 92.
“Knock knock. Another antidoping control. Seems excessive but I’m not complaining. This is a good thing. I like good things times 40.”
I get your point Kali. EXCEPT, Contador was in the kit because he won the national championship of his home country. Much like Fabian, Roche, Boonen, et al. Lance COULD have worn the colours of the US nat. champion (DZ), but instead he was out 1) offing his cancer stricken g/f, 2) banging a barely legal trollop and 3) impregnating a third g/f. While I’m certainly a supporter of Livestrong, this douche goes about it in the most agregious and self-serving way possible. I would kindly petition the committee to actually LOWER the phallometer to 92 just for the extra effort I had to expend on this subject.
I’m not defending LA’s actions or lifestyle, John, I just don’t see how a different colored helmet really qualifies one for doucheness, especially since that helmet symbolizes something beyond the character of the person wearing it. As for that person, yes, Lance comes across as a prick. But without him, we wouldn’t be having the fun of tracking the phallometer, now would we?
Some hilarious Jens: http://www.nytimes.com//interactive/2009/07/10/sports/cycling/20090710_TOUR_AUDIO.html?8dpc
And check out those risers on his elbow pads!
are doing well at the Tour De France?
That’s unpossible!
wholly forreals! they usually just pull out and go oui oui.
For Spartacus to be in the breakaway and then to join up w/ Andy at the top of the Cat. 1 and then “Swiss Air” ™ would “Flt” And to the Victory and force Astana to act and be in yellow to do most of the work.
A perfect plan except Spartucus had a tummy ache. Fire the chef! He went to the neutral drink bike at least twice.
NYVC rider settles FBF dispute once and for all. See photo above.
They call him Handstrong.
i guess he’s gonna have to go “lefty” for a while…
that hand will work wonders with the ladies. saddle on up next to the cutest girl in the bar, slap that beasty looking thing down on the counter so everyone sees it, order her a cosmo and then start groaning like a wookie.
it’s money, i tell ya.
In all honesty, because Astana is so stacked, if this inter-team rivalry wasn’t happening this tour would a real snoozefest.
At the moment Contador is clearly stronger than Headstrong, and deserves leadership. Heads only chance was to cajole berto into the role of levi II. Doesn’t look like that is going to happen now. My prediction, Contador wins overall, though because there doesn’t appear to be any non-astana riders who can drop Head on the climbs he can always claim to be playing the role of good-teammate and won’t really “lose”. Liggett/Sherwin/Roll love-fest continues, immortalizing headstrong as the greatest teammate in the history of cycling.
He should be happy, he can hide behind the lack of radios no matter who chases who down!
From VeloNews:
Johan Bruyneel, the team manager of Astana which includes yellow jersey favorites Alberto Contador, Lance Armstrong and Levi Leipheimer, has described the decision as “unjustified and unacceptable”.
Astana is one of 14 teams who have already signed a petition against radio silence for stages 10 and 13 and will submit it later Saturday.
“The Tour has gotten so big and busy with so many cars on the route that it is completely unjustifiable and unacceptable that in the biggest event of the year, there is an experiment to see what will happen without radios,” said Bruyneel.
“We can’t accept that. I don’t understand why there should be two days without radio.”
I believe that we will see Lance getting dropped in Alps. In my opinion, he looks tired already. He was always the rider with the best poker face. I am not sure he hide that anymore. The 33 year old Lance is much different rider than the 37 year old Lance.
I am guessing that if he was confident and self-assured, he would be creating daily videos on livestrong.com similar to what he was doing during the Giro. Yet, I think he is being slammed by reality. He may not be able to finish this Tour. At least where he would want to finish.
John Wilcockson: “Contador’s showboating attack”
http://tour-de-france.velonews.com/article/94912/inside-the-tour—watch-for-surprises-this-weekend
I’m not sure the author of “Lance: The Making of the Worlds Greatest Champion” is the most unbiased source of information.
20 seconds in 2km in a headwind against all the other contenders seems impressive to me… I could only manage 4-5, just sayin..
7:43: Cooked? If VDV was two seconds behind Contador, you’d never stop pooping your pants.
“On the climb of the Col d’Agnes Andy Schleck showed us that he is going to be a threat in this race in the mountains when he accelerated literally dynamiting the pack”
This is getting ridiculous! First, blatant Lance favoritism, now they accuse his competition of mass murder!
My head is exploding! Thankfully, only figuratively.
lance gets 5th–you heard it from me 1st