The Tour ends today, as it has since 1973 (mostly), with a long photo opportunity culminating in about 45 minutes of racing on the Champs-Elysées. The overall winner will finish somewhere in the middle of the pack and a sprinter will take the final victory. To the average American, it’s a slightly confusing end to the race, as the final stage of the Tour isn’t like, for instance, the fourth quarter of a football game or the ninth inning of a baseball game—there’s no last minute heroics (unless you’re Greg Lemond), just a long slow roll into Paris and a few hectic laps for the sprinters.
But that’s the way it is. The Tour is unexciting in many ways, the prologue is a dull send off meant to create time gaps between the racers, time trials are nearly unwatchable and Craig Hummer talks a lot; but there are exceptional moments, and that’s why we watch. There will be a hole in my sporting life now that this Tour is ending—no more Andy and Alberto canoodling, no more annoying attacks from Carlos Barredo (during or after the race), no chain slips, no cancer awareness, no elderly jokes and no more SMASHing. It will be hard to carry on without the daily drama emanating from France, but I will soldier on. Meanwhile, there’s a long drawn-out stage to watch before the Tour ends, so let’s get to it, shall we?
Live Race
The VS coverage goes live and the race hasn’t started yet. Alberto and Andy are side by side at the start, they roll off and chat and giggle together. Let me just say how much I am missing Salvatore Commesso today, as he would be battling for Contador’s wheel all day to get some toto TV time.
The race organizers are forcing the Radio Shack to change out of their special jerseys—is Pruhomme trying to catch leukemia?
They take the leader’s jerseys hugging photo, Alberto and Andy give an extra long embrace.
Lance finally changes out of his outlaw black jersey. Voeckler swaps jerseys with someone else. This is the most interesting thing that will happen for two hours.
Did Phil just make an "Alberto slowing down the race" joke? Is that inaccuracy or irony?
Alberto’s taking pictures with the other racers like a shopping mall Easter Bunny.
The race officials are going to stop the race for Radio Shack’s costume change, we now get live pictures of the Shack pinning up, Popo is a terribly slow pinner.
There’s an overhead shot if a roundabout, four riders take the sidewalk and whiz in the grass, if you’ve ever wondered what a helicopter shot of a MS150 ride looked like, now you know.
The entire race has stopped so Lance can get his numbers pinned, we’re lucky he didn’t have to go number two, otherwise he’d need the paper and two hours.
Popo sits back to pace Lance back to RAGBRAI.
In racing news, there’s two intermediate sprints today for Thor SMASH to SMASH.
This coverage is abusively long, time to fast forward to the first intermediate sprint.
But first a nature break, well done HTC, good team coordination.
Here’s an Andy interview, he misses his brother and wants some macaroni and cheese.
Here’s the champagne shot, Berto goes to take a drink, but Lance bursts out of nowhere and swipes his drink.
Andy and Contador do a fake attack together, it’s no Creed and Huff attacking holding hands, but they’re new.
The moto guy hands Alberto a squirt gun, Andy tosses himself to the ground in a jealous tantrum.
Andy has another mechanical, it’s really not an official 2010 Tour stage until Andy breaks his bike.
Ventura talks to Berto and the Radio Shack Berto signal jammer does it’s work—the tape stops.
Here’s the Bert interview again. Between Alberto’s English and Robbie’s obviousness, there’s nothing to be learned there.
They actually put together a recap of Lance’s Tour, really? Was Moreau busy?
Here’s Lance and Frankie, Lance takes off his Blu Blockers and says he isn’t coming back to France as there aren’t any decent delis here. Frankie asks Lance what’s next for him, trying to keep a straight face.
VS shows a canned segment about the "28" jerseys that the Tour disqualified, ASO is so getting cancer.
Um, the Japanese guy with Bbox is having his picture with everybody, just sayin’.
The race is just hitting Paris now and the riders finally pick up the pace.
52k to go, and Astana leads the race into Paris, how soon until the green jersey sprints? Thor’s SMASH in SMASHing distance!
4k to the first sprint. Riblon jumps to maintain his Frenchness. Will Cervelo drag this back for the SMASHing?
45k to go, guess not.
VS comes back from commercial and they list the day’s highlights, which include the fake attack from Berto and Andy.
39k to go, there’s a split of 11 off the front.
33k to go, the break has 17 seconds, the SMASH for green is slipping away!
VS does a review of the "fun" at the Tour and Phil savagely criticises the kerning of a little girl’s "Viva le Tour" sign.
25k to go, Tony Martin is in the break, riding caboose, the break has 24 seconds. Sky is chasing for the Hoag.
21k to go, Help Tow Cav has come to the front, the break has 23 seconds.
19k to go, will Ciolek help lead out Thor SMASH again? There could be a herring bouquet in it for him.
14k the break has 18 seconds, Tony Martin and a Lampre are hanging on the break.
12k to go, Knees attacks the break, he gets pulled back, the break is as doomed as the Mel Gibson one man show at the Apollo.
10k to go, now the fun starts. Grabsch starts pulling, chewing up the road. Hee hee.
8k to go, past the Norwegian corner, where hopes for a SMASH spring eternal. That may be the Paris stage equivalent of the tunnel of halitosis on the mountain stages.
7.4k to go, the break is 20 seconds ahead, will they crumble like a marzipan chainring?
6k to go, the break is caught like a muskie in a five gallon bucket—that’s for my peeps in Guttenburg.
The race is together like a pack of stacked cats.
5k to go, HTC on the front, getting swarmed.
3.2k to go, I do enjoy me that side shot. Cav looks calm.
2.9k to go Sky at the front in a burst of desperate optimism.
2.3k to go, Barredo launches a nuisance attack, which will work if everyone in the pack is suddenly struck blind.
I don’t see Thor SMASH near the front. Phew, there he is!
1k to go, they are coming up to the Renshaw Corner.
Garmin moves up on the right, just to get squeezed out again like last year?
Cervelo in the lead at the corner. Thor SMASH is in the Cav seat! He leaps to SMASH but the Hamster Man is too fast! Cav wins, Petacchi ahead of Thor SMASH no green for Thor SMASH, pending ongoing investigations of course.
Contador wins the Tour, but more importantly Radio Shack wins the team prize!
does that count? oh, and that other one…no, that was due to change in road conditions. oh, but there was one in PA that was cancelled.
This is the first time I can remember anyone paying attention to the team competition. How lame is it that LA and the Hog have to try to manufacture some kind of drama around that? It’s like Virenque and Jalabert going for the Polka Dot jersey after realizing they would never win Yellow.
the only thing worse than a idot fanboy is a permahater. so, so tedious. cant wait until you crawl back under your rocks.
did you see how close barredo came to sprinting full-on into the plastic barriers jutting out into the road? he had to dive left 5 seconds into his attack. that could have been very ugly.
First time in tour history that the Team prize has taken more importance than the Maillot Jeune… Goodbye Mr Armstrong, enjoy Prison!!
the contempt for armstrong amongst amateur racers is weird considering every single other rider doped. even the man crush fav jens.
If the biggest attraction over the next five years is the kissy-face relationship between Andy and Alberto, then this will get boring very quickly. They both are incredibly talented cyclists, but who the heck is that fond of his biggest competitor? Lance and Jan never hugged it out, or did commercials together. Things would have been much more exciting had Andy continued the whole “anger in my stomach” thing and shoved a pump in Berto’s front wheel, Dave Stoller style. I guess without Frank there to play Dennis Quaid for Andy, he would have had to rely on Jens to pedal in on his circus bike to come to defend him, maybe swinging a bowling ball around.
agreed with 2:26 p.m. post. that will get old REAL fast. i know it’s not part of the “tradition” but whatever – andy schleck should have launched a solo attack as soon as they waved the flag at Longjumeau. and it’s not even about whether contador should have waited or not on the tourmalet. who gives a rat’s arse about that.
t’s about the fact that he was LOSING BY ONLY 39 SECONDS so why just roll in? at least go down fighting.
I am soooo looking forward to team competition in 2011!
Odds on bet that the 2011 Tour’s decisive stage will finish on top of a climb to be known from that day forward as “Brokeback Mountain” or, as they say en Francais “Brokeback Mountain” – some things don’t translate…
Well put!!! Best comment I’ve read on here.
Well, for one, I don’t have to see Jens’ smarmy face representing an ideal athlete advertising beer during my afternoon commute.
Yes, sure, Jens turned down any ad offers. So, it’s the popularity that inspires the hate?
That is the “Andy” we’re referring to, yes?
I know one of the sole purposes of this website is to bring about the destruction of LA, the darklord of cycling. But am I the only one who is worried about the potential destruction of American cycling? IF Landis succeeds in bringing Lance down, it will also bring down Hincapie, Zabriskie, Leipheimer and others.
Who is left?
VDV? He’s getting up there and only has a couple years left anyway?
Farrar? OK, but he will always be in Cav’s shadow.
If you think it would have no effect on amateur cycling guess again. Multiple local races were already cancelled this year due to low registration, difficulty with funding, etc. What happens when potential sponsors are even more reluctant to fork over money for this sport?
…need to find a new pastime. Just think, without him, Schmalz would have to comment on the china pattern that Andy and Berto are picking for the winter challet they are sharing.
it would be a sad commentary on the sport in the US if its future is dependent on any one person. Kind of like the World Cup, when people cheer on the USA but don’t really care about the sport.
Fortunately seems to be that on the local level there is more interest than ever. 1/2/3 races often fill up and Cat 5 races sell out months in advance, they certainly didn’t when I was a 5 and Lance was still winning every year. If there are some regional races that are struggling the really bad economy might also have something to do with that.
Of course the bad economy has a lot to do with several local races being cancelled as well many larger ones (Tour of Georgia).
But it’s not going to get better if Lance gets nailed. We are going to have fewer races to choose from. It’s not that there aren’t enough amateurs to fill the races (especially cat 4 fields). The demand is there, but the supply is dwindling.
And it’s not about one personality supporting cycling, it’s the reputation of our sport. And everybody seems to keep forgetting that Landis is accusing Lance AND a host of others including former local racer Hincapie.
No one ever said it was about American Cycling. Its about what is obviously wrong and has been no matter from what country. Those who truly follow know why the Omerta must come down, no matter how much awearness it brings to cancer or the lack of afterwards as long as we don’t end up seeing riders with needle track marks up an down their arms & legs, and phama’s aren’t the reason a particular rider wins the next Tour. So who cares if a bunch of American cyclists get busted? Its happened to France, Italy, Spain and guess what, they still have cycling programs and maybe the best races on the planet. If the American cycling scene can’t handle getting rid of dopers then it has no place to exist in the first place, so good riddance. Its not like the American pros are raking in the dough over here, anyone wanting to make it must go to Europe no question about it.
For those on the Lance love boat, its not all about him no matter how much you think it is. He’s just the latest problem.
LA does not own the future of US cycling. Unless he starts walking on water, no one figure can lay claim to the creation or undoing of a culture or movement. Jim Fixx died of a heart attack and the running world did not end.
I’ve always had my doubts about the “Lance Factor”, bike racing is hard and I think the last thing amateurs think about at the start line is Lance Armstrong. I think the reason for the popularity if the sport in New York has more to do with the promoters putting on quality races within the city or a short drive, and I think racers stay in the sport because of friendships they make on the road–and they like looking at pictures of themselves–a lot.
we all know Lance was labeled a “responder” by his cancer docs due to the amazing reaction the cancer meds had on his disease. That being said, I believe the old “everyone else was taking it” line is true but hollow…that is if certain athletes “respond” better to dope, how is that an even playing field…Floyd might be an example of this as he is clearly shit without the dope.
I applaud the LA cancer foundation work…I do not applaud enriching himself to the tune of over $100 million by using testosterone, epo and blood transfusions. Secondly when he raises the cancer shield to fend off the doping inquiries, I find it repressible and ghoulish.
“Multiple local races were already cancelled this year due to low registration, difficulty with funding, etc”
Which ones?
We know doping is, and has been, a problem in cycling and other sports. But it’s been worse since epo and blood doping, because they work so well.
I think Lance is mainly the symbol of the problem and suitably arrogant to allow an investigation and prosecution.
But the real problem has been the leadership of the UCI, particularly VerDRUGgen, but also to a lesser extent McQuaid, for ignoring, or worse, the problem.
VerDRUGgen was the leader of the UCI and it’s predecessor the FICP, for more than 25 years, and he consistently denied, obstructed, and attacked any suggestion of the problem. (Funny, how like Lance that was…) I think Lance should roll over on him and point just how corrupt he was. That would let the riders off the hook (sort of), and get the UCI out of the anti-doping business, and give VerDRUGgen the legacy he deserves.
Also seems to like sending unsolicited, drunken emails to Floyd calling him a “nuisance”, prompting a very funny exchange
Floyd a nuisance and LA an unsolicited donor of ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS (that we know of) to the UCI?
Uh, this smells.