Yesterday’s stage was like a Modern English concert—hours of mundane action culminating in one interesting moment. The "I Melt with You’ moment came when Mark Renshaw knocked three times (yeah that’s a Tony Orlando and Dawn reference) with his head on Julian Dean before doing his best imitation of a piece of French Road Furniture in front of Tyler Farrar. This bit of Antipodean head banging will now supersede Robbie McEwen’s "Night at the Roxbury" moment with Stuey O’Grady as the most notable bit of Southern hemisphere sprint rough housing.

Renshaw was kicked out of the race for his part in the fracas and Mark Cavendish now loses the best leadout man in the peloton (is there anyone willing to take more abuse in a sprint than Renshaw?) and more importantly, he also loses his roommate. It looks like Renshaw will be replaced by Serge, the gassy HTC mechanic. Bad times for Cav.

But enough conjecture, let’s hear about the incident from Renshaw himself (via cycling news):

"I can’t be out of the Tour de France if Barredo and Costa only got a fine a few days ago."

"I’m extremely disappointed," he continued. "I’m extremely harshly done by the decision of the jury. I’ve never had anything against me in the past. I’ve never done anything wrong. The process of this decision is abnormal. There’s no possibility of appeal to this decision."

Renshaw said that his actions look worse on television than they actually were.

"Julian (Dean) moved off his line by more than one metre. Then I had only two options: to be left in the barriers or to push him back with my head. I had started my sprint."

Renshaw has a good point about Barredo and Costa’s fight, but the only thing jeopardized in their dust up was their masculinity; if Renshaw had taken Dean down there would’ve been a mass pile up, and another Petacchi win of course.

Live Race

106k to go, and there’s a 18 man break that contains Thor SMASH and Vino! Of course Vino is working for Alberto, because he would never attack for personal glory—that’s not like Vino at all… Ryder is up there also, the break’s at about two minutes and Ryder is sitting 12th at 5:42, so I can’t imagine the break getting much more time than that.

Also in the group is Kloden, another wonderful teammate. And let me just say that if Thor SMASHes his way to green, it will be because he’s been willing to go on the offensive on stages like this—have you ever seen Cav or Petacchi in a long break for green? No? Hmmmm…

Earlier Bole (Petacchi’s teammate) swiped away the intermediate sprint from Thor SMASH, denying Thor SMASH the green jersey, and denying him a place in my heart forever.

Also in the group is Kiryienka’s and his mini-mullet, current leader in the competition for the most Euro hair jersey.

72k to go, this should go without saying, but "Go Ryder!"

64.9k to go, Saxo is working at the front, creating a human Fisher Price school bus to take Andy Schleck to the finish.

Today’s stage has a lot of rolling hills in it, with an uphill finish at the end, which bodes well for Ryder and portends doom for SMASHing.

58.3k to go, Vino at the front of the break on the descent, doing teammate things, of course…

Paul mentions that donkeys in this region have a cross on their back because they carried Jesus to the cross (which is incredibly wrong, the story is that the cross is because the donkey carried Mary to Bethlehem—but who’s counting?), but the real reason for the crosses is because Jens once dropped a bottle into a nearby field and the donkey’s partook of the grass nurtured by the water. 

52.0k to go, it’s 1k to the green SMASH sprint, Thor SMASH has Bole on his tail. Charteau is on the front, and Creed’s right—he has a big old head. Thor SMASHes the sprint, and gives a fist pump that cracks the asphalt on the spot where he sprints—look for that crack to knock over at least 4 Euskaltel riders later in the stage.

50k to go, Kloden accelerates, knocking Kern and Thor SMASH out of the break, Thor SMASH looks at the camera and gives a thumbs up, the concussion of that motion knocks the camera moto over to the other side of the road.

Vino attacks in an attempt to raise the GDP of Kazakhstan, Ryder joins him with Kloden and Kiryienka’s hair. This race just got very interesting.

Paul wonders out loud whether Alberto can trust Vino—in Vino veritas?

The gap to the field would put Ryder in third overall, which probably won’t last as every team with a guy ahead of Ryder in GC will come to help Saxo Bank pull him back at the end of the stage. Go Ryder!

45.3k togo, riding in the break, Kloden and Vino must be having flashbacks of when they used to attack each other when they were teammates on Telekom together. Good times.

44.8k to go, Casar is trying to get the remains of the break to work by making Moreau gestures at them.

Thor SMASH is reabsorbed by the peloton, prompting 3 Euskaltels to shriek and throw themselves to the asphalt.

43.8k to go, the break of four has 35 seconds over the break and almost 4 minutes on the peloton moving Ryder into a virtual podium spot, this prompts Canada to wake up, pass gas and turn on the TV.

35.5k to go, if the race stopped right now, it would suck because we still have a lot of stages to go.

28k to go, here’s what Paul knows about Ryder: he’s Canadian and he’s raced mountain bikes before.

25k to go, the break has 3 minutes, there’s a long descent before the finishing climb. Vino’s at 6:31, can he leapfrog Contador today? Vino power! Is this the most weaselly break of all time?

Kiryienka flying the Belamullet on the descent, when the wind whistles through his helmet vents and his tickles his hair, it plays a Scorpions song. 

 20k to go, now the race starts, Ryder motioning for the team car, JV moves up and gives him a pocket square and a soda.

Paul says that the race radio is reporting that Farrar has abandoned. Crap!

 17k to go, Cav at the back of the group, the green jersey points go 25 deep on the finish, not that he cares right now. The break is at about 2 minutes—no yellow for Vino!

15k to go, the remains of the break is at 18 seconds, it could all come together. Awaiting the inevitable Vino attack. 

Will Andy attack Berto on the uphill finish? It’s not like he’s going to get any bonus seconds on the sprints. Bjarne radios Andy and tells him that there’s a bouncy hut at the top of the finishing climb.

Paul mentions that he and Phil drove up the climb today, there’s no chance that the left turn blinker wasn’t on the whole time is there?

10.8k to go, we’re getting to the climb. Go Ryder!

9.7k to go, this is going to be a great finish. Canada is on the edge of its beanbag.  

6.5k to go, Cadel has moved up in the pack, reminding me that he’s a bike racer now. The break only has 56 seconds.

The finishing climb is short and steep, like Vino’s forehead. 

5k to go, Andy tosses his silly string and prepares for the climb.

The break gets to the climb, this is going to be great. Go Ryder!

4.4k to go, Ryder looks like he’s in difficulty. Dammit! Kloden explodes.

Just Vino and the Belamullet now at the front.

Petcchi goes to the front, to pace Cunego, who has a great shot today, along with Cadel.

An AG2r guy jumps off the pack, fooling no one.

This climb is steeper than Bob Rolls’ learning curve.

3.2k to go, Cadel’s up at the front! 

Vino attacks Kiryienka, um, yay?

2.6k to go, Wiggo dying. There’s the roadside bottle! Lance instinctively tells it that it will finish 8th.

Kloden is hanging on, Ryder absorbed like blotter acid at a Dead show.

2.2k to go. Berto attacks! He gaps Andy! I’m sure Vino will sit up and wait for Berto…

Berto catches Vino, will Vino attack him?