Today is a day that could lose someone the Tour. The route heads up to the coast along the English Channel, and that means there could be some crosswinds. This is good if you have a team full of classics motors like the Schlecks do, but if you say, have a bunch of climbers and Spaniards, like Saxo Bank, today might be tense for you.

Also telling yesterday was the absence of any teammates near Contador at the finish. Saxo is allegedly built for climbing at this Tour, but his closest teammate was Richie Porte who was 25 seconds behind in 46th place. It looks like Alberto better open the bidding for a little "help" from other teams in the mountains right away.

I tune in with 138k to go, and there’s four guys away. Today’s finish isn’t uphill, but there’s some hills before the end, which favors Gilbert, Farrar and Thor SMASH. Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of everyone being surprised that a man of Thor’s SMASH size can get up a hill—he’s not one of the McGuire Twins (if you get that reference—you are old—and a big fan of the 1977 Guinness Book of World Records). He’s shown us in the past that he can do very well on hilly finishes, so let’s stop the "look at that big man go" stuff.

135k to go, Garvelo at the front, Zabriskie chewing a carrot.

I must say that I’m enjoying the annual "Cav losing his mind until he wins a stage" drama this year. I expect the podium presentation after his first win this year to be equal parts Sally Fields at the Oscars and a pre-teen that just met Justin Bieber.

Today’s stage also has a nice launching pad hill before the finish, so it could be a day for a desperate breakaway to work. I’m looking at you, Tommy Voeckler.

The four riders away are Valentin, Turgot, Gutierrez and Delaplace which makes the break three-quarters French.

128k to go, Stuey and Thor SMASH are having a chat. "Why are you to having Fabian to make take your blanket every night?"

That sentence above could have actually come from Fab’s Twitter account, if you don’t subscribe, DO IT NOW!

95k to go, here comes the sprint. Turgot wins it, Europcar gets caviar tonight!

The real sprint will happen in 5:30. Wiggo flatted and is chasing on, riding a Madison with his teammate and the team car.

Um, NBC, today I’ve seen more "buffering" than stage today…

It looks like Gilbert is going for it. Boner edges Cav towards the ditch, Cav bitches and loses three places—how about complaining after the sprint is done?

Oof big old crash, Gesink and Janez are down. Janez is really down. Hopefully he missed the guardrail. He’s sitting up and awake, but he may think he’s in Slovenia.

87k to go, Bert has crashed also. He’s up and seems calm, he gives his bike a toss and gets a new one.

Janez looks to be out of the race, bumping Radio Shack’s average age up to 72.

Bert is chasing back on, if they hit the crosswinds soon, it could be bad for Bert. Paging Fabian Cancellara—payback’s a bitch Berto.

76k to go, Contador’s back in the race, had the wind been blowing, things could’ve been very bad. I guess only Lance gets to drop Bert in the wind.

75k to go, Sorensen crashes, that moto driver must really hate those spectators at the side of the road! Sorensen misses the mom/child split.

74k to go, Horner’s at the back. P&P think it’s Garvelo doing it, but Horner’s usually too smart for that. Is it a mechanical?

There’s a replay of Sorensen’s crash—was that Watson’s moto? Was that his dooshy white helmet? Did Sorensen say something bad about Lance? Did Watson throw an "omerta elbow"?

71k to go, Popo is falling back, introducing Andreas Kloden, your new Radio Shack overlord!

The Shack is spread over France like stinky cheese on a croissant.

Paul just announced that Kern has been dropped from the race, the Tour’s spacing to not be the same. I lament the end of opportunities for typography-based humor.

66k to go, there’s no crosswind shape to the pack yet, and the break’s gap is dropping like the charges against Casey Anthony—seriously, Florida?

64k to go, natural break time! Jens urinates on a ditch that turns into a fountain of youth.

Soooo much buffering. The gaps serves as pauses to the race, so I will see the finish of this stage just before stage 15.

Has Radio Shack’s Tour been saved by the whizz break?

Gadret stops for a wheel, Roche attacks. Forcing the TV coverage to follow him up to the pack, the upside is that he stopped in the "whizz zone", he passes about 6 guys watering the countryside. Yes, I am delighted. Yes, I am 42 years old, why do you ask?

Another crash, just a little ditch digger. Quick Step does a team time trial to the pavement, Boner down! The Boner’s up, yeah I’m giggling.

The NBC feed looks like it’s showing the video from a camera that’s been smeared with butter. The Ks to go are but a white smear, so I may not be entirely accurate bout distances, but I will be spot on about every urine break.

54k to go, still no sign of the wind. I figure we have about 10k until the wind kicks up. You will be able to tell the wind has picked up by Contador’s tears.

Dear God, this NBC feed has more pauses than Phil Ligget’s urine flow!

Oof, Boner looking like he’s in a lot of pain.

48k to go, still no wind to speak of. The gap at 21 seconds, Gutierrez points back at the pack, as if to say, "Can you guys stop being so French right now? I’m tired."

44k to go, here comes the sprint to the wind. Garvelo and Leopard at the front. Still no crosswind.

37k to go, Quick Step offers Engels to Boner.

34k to go, I still think we’ll see a Voeckler move on the last hill or so.

32k to go, there he goes Voeckler—he hits the weeds to get away!

It’s Roy and Voeckler—there’s no way those guys give up.

28k to go, Roy and Voeckler have 35 seconds and the hopes of France on their side.

There’s still no echelon in the pack.

24k to go, and we have a race on our hands. Go Tommy go!

20k to go, the people along the route are going nuts. It’s a downhill before the finish, so they have a chance.

18k to go, there’s a Euskaltel caught in the barriers. Geez, they have to untangle him!

17k to go, France is cheering softly to herself, she doesn’t want to jinx it.

16k to go, HTC hits the front, but this isn’t really a Cav finish.

13k to go, Garvelo at the front, this is delightful! Thank you bikes.

11k to go, the crosswind really didn’t show up yet today. France perched on the edge of her fainting couch now.

Boner racing to be able to continue to race in excruciating pain for the next few weeks.

10.8k to go, the break has 35 seconds, France tells her sister to stop drying her hair, she’s trying to watch the bike race.

The race is really stretched out now, if the crosswind comes, everyone’s one Spaniard away from a plummet down the GC.

There’s the 10k kite, P&P really should mention whether this is the last hill here.

Garvelo hits the front—go Tommy! Was Robin Williams a fan of bikes around when Voeckler was born? Because he bears a striking resemblance…

7k to go, we’re getting a lot of "Voeckler face" footage right now. They are at 15 seconds. France is holding in her morning’s espresso.

5k to go, who says the French love to surrender?

4k to go, c’mon Voeckler!

3.4k to go, here’s the last little hill. This could help the break. Voeckler attacks! C’mon Tommy!

2k to go, Voeckler dangling and he’s caught—he just missed getting to the descent. Thanks Tommy!

Feels like SMASH time.

1k to go, it will be a fast finish, it won’t be easy to close gaps, Tony Martin goes. Thor SMASH fifth wheel.

The Hoag goes early. Thor SMASHes up to his wheel. Gilbert closes the gap, but Cav comes around! On an incline!!

Podium tears to follow shortly.