Section head text.
This week’s argument is a pretty simple one. It’s about you, dear reader. Do you have any special pre-race rituals you go through? Something you have to do before you race? A lucky pair of socks? A special routine you can’t miss? I have a routine for early morning races that I never miss, I have a bowl of cereal, two coffees and a glass of orange juice. I also have to visit the bathroom twice for something that I’ve come to know as the “double deuce.”
..and I often ride out to JFK airport so I can use the bathrooms there before a park race.
this is absolutely the worst thread ever for this site. a full day and not one substantive or intelligent post. except maybe for CT MAFIA.
Somebody should do something about this site.
Larry Craig should do something about this site.
I thought the Larry Craig / C.H.U.D. post was constructive (and funny)
Larry Craig has got THE BEAT. Tap, tap, tap away!
my post race ritual involves a cold beer or two, and mcdonalds if available before I hit the highway. TS can vouch for me.
There is a tunnel that connects FBF to Branchbrook to the Minneapolis airport. CHUDs use it all the time. FBF is their summer place.
seeing the number of ads that are on the site compared to last year, I think Alex, Andy & Schmalz are able to sell this to advertisers in spite of the scatalogical nature of the postings. In fact it probably says something about their salesmanship that they’re able to sell any ads at all.
http://www.zipfizz.com/products.html
Are you sure that Andy and Schmalz aren’t paying for the ads?
free ad space for gear reviews???
Interesting attempt at written english. Not sure what to make of it at all. The sort of sentence that my 4th grade teacher used to just put a big red question mark next to.
Do any of you guys have a square to spare?
Larry Craig is a CAT1 off-road. You should see him in the mud.
Alll this poop talk took care of my three-day constipation. Man, what a relief.
This just in. in a press conforence just a few minutes ago. Larry Craig said he was mis quote it. he said. qoute (I will not quit..”been gay”) end quote.
Was that “been gay” or Bengay. Maybe he was just trying to relieve some stiffness.
WHHAAAAASSSZZZZZUUUUPPPP!!
Larry Craig is a C.H.U.D. in disguise.
I keep waiting for a C.H.U.D. to pop its head out of the FBF toilet every time I’m in there.
They have to accept us, warts and all. And yes, we are a little poop obsessed. Parenthood forces you to adopt a higher level of comfort with the scatalogical.
Larry Craig is STILL not gay….
We want in. Title sponsor.
What, pray tell, are the dump routines at Floyd? Different time of day, different body chemistry — and much scarier bathroom, too.
Dude, that FBF bathroom is just awful. Unpleasant, yucky, and really truly base. I am fairly certain that Guantanamo prisoners and the like have it better than FBF when it comes to the poo department. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little from just thinking about it.
One-day licenses make excellent tissue paper at Floyd
I phyk my teammates nose before staging…
While I do agree with you, Schmalz started the shit-talk
hahahah ..too funny.
You forgot to list the actual walk to the bathroom and the dump itself. Or do you just suppress the urge and ‘zipp up and roll out’? Im sure you wouldn’t be the only anal retentive in the club.
Do you dump with the eyes open, or is the whole thing done in the dark in an effort to actually remain asleep until tires hit the pavement?
Id love to hear this guys OCD sex routine. “An hour before, I place condom beside bed – arms reach on left side of table. 40 min before, initiate stretching routine. 30 min before, wash the man parts carefully. 10 mins before, visit bathroom to avoid awkward pee trip. 5 min before, two sips of gatorade to avoid bonking while bonking. 1 min before, complement GF’s hair or something. 30 secs before, lick lips and reach over…”
The night before park races, I leave both tires with valves pointing down, pump placed at the front tire. Shoes are left at the foot of a chair by my door, one sock placed in each. Helmet, gloves and glasses are on handlebar. Jersey is draped over saddle, pockets pre-stuffed with keys, wallet, cell phone, spare tube/levers/CO2. Bib and base layer are draped over a chair next to my bed in the order they’re to be put on, already turned right-side in. Drink is mixed and bottle is left in the fridge — lower left.
In the morning I turn off the alarm and get dressed without even my eyes being open. Breakfast is two pieces of toast with a banana and half an egg. Mango juice cocktail.
Usually get the urge to dump while topping off tires. A reliable predictor to how I feel. Zip up jersey, shoes on, roll out.
Man, this stuff makes me feel for the guys behind Velocity as they try to sell the site to potential advertisers — “Yes, Velocity Nation speaks to a small but influential group of highly-motivated professionals with desirable demographics, who come to the web site seeking the latest technology reviews and conversation about…..blumpies.”
Naw, naw, naw. Who has checked it while getting a blumpie? THERE”S your dedication.
Who’s checked their HR monitor on the can? Fess up
mr. vet, in what way do boonen and friere figure into your pre-race ritual? maybe we don’t want to know.
deuce jokes. (lame)
Just read the article on Oscar F.
I’m pretty sure if he were Belgium he’d be bigger than Boonan.
My favorite rider hands down. How could you not like a guy that bunnyhopped his a way to a victory last season.
http://www.cyclingnews.com/road/2007/vuelta07/?id=/riders/2007/interviews/oscar_freire_prevuelta07
Poop is cool. Poop is funny. Poop for all!
Attempted redirect of fun conversation about poo to boring Euro pro talk a month after the TdF = lame.
CT Mafia = Tom Luther = 8th at Lou. Tom uses public bathrooms on the highway, but Tom is not gay. I guess. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
CT MAFIA is more dedicated than single dad and stock broker put together.
1. Car driving the wrong way (towards me!)
2. Tractor Trailer Truck on Fire
3. Met a drunk girl on her way home from partying while I was getting changed/ready for Lou Maltese. I went and did the race (got 8th) and went back to her place for breakfast (and other). verdy niiice!
4. Guy getting a BJ in the Prospect parking lot.
I leave my house in CT at 330am. No time for poopie. I usually hit the Mobil station on the Major Deegan. One time, it was chamois time in the skinsuit on the way down… i sat down on the bowl and my skinsuit (around my ankles) was soaked because the bathroom had 2 inches of water (and other) in it. I drove the last 15 minutes in my boxers while the skinsuit was on the roof drying. NASTY!
http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/
looks like most posters are scared shitless….
Dirk = best post of the day. So great.
I think we nickname the next CRCA dork who takes rituals/details/gear too seriously “Diggler”
wide stance
I stand in front of the mirror and so some killer karate moves:
. . . yeah, yeah, yeah . . . You look good, ready.
I’m a star, I’m a rock and roll star.
C’mon . . . c’mon . . . c’mon . . . I’m a star.
I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star.
james joseph mentioned at length in usa cycling recap of track nationals.
http://www.usacycling.org/news/user/story.php?id=3147
And I can’t do it. But if I eat dinner early the night before (and have a good diet) I can have a good bowel movement before the race.
And I have a liquid meal (Metabalol or something like that) with *maybe* a slice of bread or a ripe banana at least an hour before the start.
It’s 4:30am rise for park races, eating right away, walking a little in the apartment to loosen the bowels, then out the door.
damn skippy a flush beats the double deuce!
She went to a few bike races with me after we were married. And then one day before a race she asked when the race started. I said “10am.” And she said “Oh, so at 8:30 you will start going the bathroom every 15 minutes.”
full house? straight flush?
does anyone experience this? Even without coffee, it comes in threes. This ONLY happens before bike races.
I definitely have to go at least two times before a race. Like Schmalz i have about two cups of coffee when i wake up. I wonder if it is a factor or it has to do with pre-race angst. Coffee usually makes it happen anyway but not so frequent…
I think it was Littlefield who told me he gets up like 3 hours before any race (CRCA included) to prepare, eat, crap etc. I found that amazing.
For CRCA races, my alarm goes off at exactly 5:10am for a 6:00am start. I throw the clothes on and am out the door by 5:25pm having peed and gorged down a muffin and banana, and I hit the registration line by 5:40am latest. This leaves me with like 10 min of time to spare pre-race. Poop before CRCA race? No chance! Other races starting after 9am and harder courses give me the nerves and time to double-deuce easily, however. You see the parallel here? Im old enough now that I guess I need to be scared just to take a crap.
http://www.usacycling.org/track/
Oh you boys and your poop humor. Us girls are so above this discussion. Lets talk about fashion!
Can’t a guy take a steamer, throw LA-Gang-Symbol-like hand gestures and slide a $20 bill under the stall without it meaning anything? Jiminy!
Cool pic- The Hanson Brothers!
The foil, coach
I was just tapping my toes to christian rock! Why won’t anyone believe me?
pup
Anon gay sex in an airport restroom
dry heaves. lots and lots of dry heaves.
yum
i know a lot of people who drop the ‘double deuce’ before races. It makes you that much lighter for the climbs but it can be a bummer when 5 guys are staying in the same place..
other than that i inspect my saddle sores….
I p b4 the race.
I eats me lucky charms