Newbie argument

by schmalz

Share the wisdom

Now that a fresh racing season is here, we have some new faces in the pack of usual pre-morning public space circling suspects. We ask you to play wise sage to these new charges. What would be your best advice to a new racer?

 

85 Comments

Anonymous

Team OUCH to Battenkill
Team OUCH presented by Maxxis will race in the 2009 Tour of the Battenkill, April 18-19, 2009 in Cambridge, New York. The team will send a strong roster for the two-day battle, hoping to come out with overall victory.

The preliminary team roster includes recent Vuelta a Mexico Sprint Champion Karl Menzies of Tasmania, five-time US Cyclocross Champion Tim Johnson and 2008 Tour of Taiwan Champion John Murphy of Jacksonville, FL.

Anonymous

And be suspicious of any team that you hook up with that talks about tactics and strategy for a race. You’ll not see any strategic racing until you hit Pro/1/2 stuff and even then the strategy is dubious at best until you’re riding national calendar stuff. Your best bet is to get out and hammer off the front every chance you get. That way you become the strategy for the race and people begin to respect your riding. Aggressive is easier than passive or something like that.

Plus if you’re really serious expect your social life to go downhill radically fast and abandon all hopes of forming normal adult relationships with the opposite sex (or same sex if that is your gig).

Anonymous

do you want people to respect you for your riding or do you want to win? “getting out and hammer off the front every chance you get” is not the way to win races. bad advice.

i agree with part two of your comment though. if you want to win you have to make certain sacrifices. a social life being one of them. if you don’t already have a girlfriend, finding one after you become obsessed with this sport will be hard.

Anonymous

Always, always, ALWAYS wear underwear underneath your bib shorts. Preferably boxers. Not wearing underwear says “Im a Fred.”

Anonymous

Make sure to send NY Velocity your monthly dues check of $499.99 insuring positive coverage and message board deletions

Anonymous

Get up early and do one long ride during the week- 3hrs
Do a couple short rides and gym workouts during the week – 3hrs
Race and ride long on the weekend – 5hrs
Take two days off, and get in one long out of town mini-camp each spring

Find a girlfriend with her own hobbies – priceless

Keep your social life, your girlfriend, and your sanity
Don’t get sick. Don’t overtrain
Focus more on tactics and less on fitness

Anonymous

Sprinting is an essential skill and one you can learn. Most races end in sprints. Unless you were an Olympic rower or cross-country star before you got into bike racing, you are never going to ride away from the field solo, and your breakaways will usually be caught. So practice sprinting and get comfortable positioning yourself in the pack to give yourself the best chance. Without learning to sprint you will not get very far in bike racing.

Anonymous

i see the same people again and again taking shits right before races. what’s wrong with you? not enough fiber and coffee at home?

Anonymous

15:33 CET
The break rides over a railroad bridge. Vande Velde uses the little rise to test his legs and accelerates off the front. Nice move!

15:34 CET
VdV gets a good 50m quickly and Roche goes after him.

15:35 CET 155.5km/18km to go
Vande Velde’s attack was very strong. Roche puts it in the big ring and tries to time trial back to the Garmin rider, but the gap is about 80m

watch a lot of race DVDs…
DO NOT RACE WITH NYVC…whatever you do!!!
ha,
just kidding!
Find a team that you like, and they like you!
Plan a training and race calendar together, car pool, circle jerk, share skinsuits…

Anonymous

Be civil to everyone, make new friends, enjoy every minute, savor the good ones, learn from the bad ones, try out of town races, get dropped, race CP, race PP, get out to Floyd, (and ride out to Floyd with friends), hit the track, practice your handling skills, be nice to Alan, be nice to Charlie, support your local bike shop, befriend a mechanic, but learn basic repair, clean your equipment, give a few bucks to the CRCA juniors if you can swing it, don’t spend too much time on message boards, read Joe Friel, take a slow long ride to Nyack on a weekday, do more climbing than River Road repeats, borrow a TT bike and see if you like it (you may not), borrow a cross bike and see if you love it (you definitely will), watch the Tour in a bar, ride in 10 degrees, ride in 100 degrees, respect your elders (listen to anyone who’s been doing it a long time), use the Manhattan Bridge, try two races in one day, or four in a weekend (but not too often), save money to ride in France, or Italy, or Switzerland, read Paul Kimmage and Tim Krabbe, ask all riders on the side of the road if they need help, keep your kit clean, eat at home as much as possible, change a stranger’s tire at least once a season, and when you hit the deck (and you will) get right back up as soon as you can.

Anonymous

contador lost all his time gain on the downhill….he only weighs 123 pounds. leaves dropped from trees fell faster.

Anonymous

Do an out of town race asap. It’s great experience and puts your training in perspective. Just doing CP on weekends does not make you a road racer.
Go for it! Push the pace, lead a break. Don’t be afraid of blowing up…better to burn out than fade away…

Anonymous

0) Ask questions
1) Don’t get too obsessive about your training in terms of numbers(power/HR)…ride, ride, ride. Have a plan, but don’t go crazy
2) Try different races – CP, PP, TT, FBF, our of town races
3) Ride with good(more experienced riders) – there are a lot of shitty Cat 3 riders there – choose your master wisely –
4) Don’t change, if you are friendly. Wearing a “team” kit and a matching bike does not make you any better than a NYCC or another rider wearing generic items. Be friendly, you will make more friends.
5) Don’t give up your other passion and relationships….remember you have a day job.
6) If you get dropped, if you crash…it hurts, get back on again and keep riding
7) If you are going to commit, make no excuses, rain/cold/hot/windy days….that’s what makes bike racing and training fun
8) Pick up books/DVD about racing in Europe…respect the tradition, they are not always fair/right/efficient…That’s not what it’s all about.
9)Take all of teh above with a grain of salt…just enjoy the sport.

Anonymous

Be like CJ. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, if at all, and has more fun with this sport than anyone I have every seen in my lifetime of being around bike racing. Some may call it self-promotion but he’s showing the pretentious Douchey McDouchebags that there is more to cycling than posting tremendous cock length on this message board. All you haters may now suck my balls.

Anonymous

poops at the park pre-race rule. its like a new, forbidden and exciting endeavor. take prospect park – it’s 5:45am, long line at the men’s room. what do you do? utilize the old racer’s creed: “all bathroom are unisex before 6am” – hit the ladies room. plant your a55 on the nice, cold metal toilet rim – you true prospect park veterans know the feel – can you say refreshing? hell, half the time im not even there to race. dropping the kids off at the pool is exciting enough. free, too.

Anonymous

I once did my bid-nis right in the bushes left of the S/F, 2min befo the start of race, with the transverse bus traffic in full view! Hope they didnt see my muddy projections, I figured its the Rambles, right? Alot worse stuff goes on there I’m told (judging by the spent condoms everywhere)

Anonymous

uh yeah nothing better than racing for 2 hours with a brown chamois. no thank you. i’ll do my business at home. plan ahead.

Anonymous

I’ll chamois drop before I use that Floyd potty. That thing is more toxic than Chernobyl. Charlie should give a Cannondale frame to anyone who uses it

Anonymous

aarrggh! the floyd potty … got raped by the flies in there last summer. horrific. i tried to pull up the bibs real quick and a bunch of them got caught under the kit, were biting the $hit out of me all race

Anonymous

uh, that government toilet paper in CP and PP is doing nothing to clean your ass. never mind the toiler paper they put porta-potties, if any.

at home, i use something called a shower to make sure my butthole is nice and fresh during a race.

Anonymous

When in CP or PP, I just steal someone’s water bottle at registration and have my own makeshift bidet for the rest room. Check your lids, I replace the bottle when I’m finished.

-Dirty “Metro” Sanchez

Anonymous

I gotta admit the only thing about bike racing that makes me sad is that sad bathroom line of guys in cleats waiting to take dumps in one stinky stall. It’s like, We all know why we are here, and HURRY UP IN THERE.

Anonymous

In mentioning the relentless and blood thirsty mosquitos at FBF, it should also be mentioned that all newbie racers should try a FBF race. It is the best race series in the city IMO. Not only is the ride out there a hyper stressful adventure (if you don’t own a car), yet the course terrain, the high weeds in the infield mid summer, the hurricane force wind at times and the overall community feel of all of the riders who love that race (and show up almost every week) is truly a memorable experience.

Anonymous

is going in to pee before the race and seeing you fools in the rambles stalls without any doors wiping your shitty buttholes

Anonymous

Lesson to Newbie

When it doubt talk about shit.

You’ll always fit in.

These are the same guys that get all serious about lost results (craigslist?) and shit, so hopefully you’re seeing their lighter side.

Anonymous

don’t overspend on bikes/parts. It won’t make you any faster.

make sure your bike fits you. A $1000 bike that fits will make you faster than a $6000 bike that doesn’t.

Anonymous

be sure to read the google ads at the right. they’ll help you in finding the right products and resources for maximizing your cycling experience, such as:

“Maltese Puppies for Sale. Adorable Toy & Teacup Maltese Puppies For Sale in New York City
http://www.NYCpuppy.com“

Anonymous

It’s kind of a bummer that Andy’s interview with Allen Lim is mentioned in the CycleOps mass email they sent today but then they link to the wrong website and also get the name wrong (nycityvelo).

Anonymous

They must have fixed it b/c I’m looking at the full story and the link looks correct. It’s definitely wrong on the email though.

Anonymous

The crapper at floyd ranks second to the nastiest one I’ve ever used which was located in Jakarta.

Anonymous

The first time you feel the urge……..go. The next 4 times…….hold it. The 6th time………. empty out and head to the line.

Anonymous

Sadly, 19:08 – no. No joke – that is a completely cromulent Craigslist posting. I must say, it looks like the boys over at the good ol’ CRC of A really stepped up the winter training this year – they’re eating our lunch so far, and the season is only one race in!

Anonymous

“Missing: Manila envelope containing cycling race results. Envelope has “CRCA RESULTS” written on it in bold permanent marker. The envelope has a circular “USA CYCLING” sticker along with a black and white “Put The Fun Between Your Legs” sticker (see image below).”

Dude. That is so fake.

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