After a mostly lackluster season where I lost some ground to the (newly anointed) Evil Anthony Accardi, I decided that I’d have to add a ‘prong’ to my winter training regimen. Prong #1 is the usual base mileage, while prong #2 involved inviting Accardi to disgusting lunches hoping my tape worm and I could double team him into chubby slowness. The WMD in this offensive is the peculiarly delicious Momofuku Ssam. 

The ssam, basically an asian burrito, had a rapid ascension in my consciousness from ‘something I’ve never heard of’ to ‘my favorite food in the world’. Momofuku’s version contains sticky rice, hoisin, edamame, kimchi, and fatty pork belly. In short, it’s a culinary tour of Asia wrapped in a flour pancake. Lucky for us, it’s fairly simple to replicate. With just a little effort it’s possible to make a burrito that’s 99% as delicious as the original. Almost everything is available at the Korean Grocery Han Ah Reum at 25 W 32nd St. 

Start by braising some meat. Braising is slow cooking in an acidic bath, where the acid slowly breaks down the connective tissue and leaves soft, tender meat. I don’t even know where to buy some fatty pork belly, but beef ribs or stew beef are almost as decadent. Don’t use a choice cut, since the finer cuts lack connective tissue and only toughen with braising. 

Sear the meat on all sides, making sure not to crowd the pan. Once the meat is seared add the braising liquid, scraping down the pan to incorporate the browning remnants. The liquid can be almost whatever you want, as long as there’s an acidic component. Wine or beer contribute the acid, chicken or veal stock add flavor and thickness, and the rest is a free for all. In keeping with the asian theme I’ll throw in soy sauce, hoisin, korean hot sauce, black bean sauce, oyster sauce, fish sauce, or tomato paste. You can even add fruit preserves for sweetness. Bring the liquid to a boil and cover, transfer to a 350 oven and let cook for 4 or 5 hours.

The meat only needs to be half immersed. This braise contains white wine, chicken stock, soy sauce, hoisin sauce, and peach preserves.

Four hours later. Skim off the fat and save the braising liquid.

Ingredient #2 is sticky rice. Usually labeled ‘Sweet Rice’, I’ve only found this rice in Chinatown groceries. Fortunately you can find cooked portions at Han Ah Reum. If you choose to make the rice yourself, simply cook for 20 minutes with a 2 to 1 liquid to rice ratio. To further slow Accardi I stir in the remains of the braising liquid once the rice is done. With the shredded meat, shiitakes and chestnuts, this rice could be a meal in itself.

Once you have the meat and the rice prepared you’re pretty much done. Warm a flour tortilla and stuff with whatever grabs your fancy. Edamame, kimchi, sesame bean sprouts, sesame spinach, japanese pickles, seaweed salad…let your imagination run wild. Rough chop anything stringy, like spinach. If you have guests let them custom tailor their own burrito. The conflagration of the gelatinous Chinese fattiness of the meat and rice, the crisp Japanese austerity of the edamame and pickles, and the spicy Korean bite of the kimchi can easily be described as ‘heady’ without seeming overly pompous. What I’m saying is, it’s really yummy.

All set to roll, with rice, meat, kimchi, pickles, bean sprouts, spinach, and edamame.

I’m happy to report that not only was I able to get Accardi to down two large ssams in one sitting, he was sufficiently taken with the dish to make it himself. He added duck to the mix and got his wife to spontaneously renew their wedding vows. Now if I can get him into some bacon wrapped canadian bacon I should be able to knock 30 more seconds off our time gap.