Ronde van Horseshit Alley

Finally a first peak at the “Central Park Racer” game being developed by Nyvelocity.com and Evolutionary Software.

Finally, a way for NYC riders to settle the score without having to do one base mile. The techno weenies at NYVC in cooperation with Evolutionary Software and Computrainer LLC are about to unveil a way for a PackPhil to out-sprint Ricky Lowe and out-power Ken Harris without leaving the comfort of his couch. And when you win here you get podium girls! The developers actually reused the flag girls from some car racing game, with a few tweaks (don’t worry, Mom, it’s still PG 13)

After a two week delay, the developer let us have a good look at the game and allowed us a spin with a raw but playable alpha version. We were even able to get out of the ES offices with a couple screen shots under our coats to share with you.

Some detail about features and game play:

It will be available on this site and some other shareware sites for an estimated $30 download by late May or early June. And we apologize to all of those NY photographers, designers and hippie flag-burners; it only runs on good old Windows.

The game will allow you to choose one of seven local teams as well as the rider–by name in many cases. If you choose a sprinter, you will have less endurance but more speed and if you play a TTer, then you will have greater endurance but no sprint. Some riders are more equally balanced but each begins with the same amount of energy. I tested this by playing Schmalz, and virtual Schmalz is actually quite strong and as a bonus cannot speak, but maybe in the next version of the game? Naturally, you begin game play as a Cat 5 racer and advance to more difficult levels until you are a Pro.

The game starts with the firing of the gun, and the players take off, cheered on by roaring fans. (Admittedly, the crowd was a bit of dramatic license but I swore I saw a CGI Jim Boyd in there cheering me on.) Drafting helps to save energy but watch out for pot holes which will cost you energy and, eventually, to crash. Over the line penalties are only enforced when one of eight marshals is on the screen but watch out: if you take another rider down, one of his teammates will try and take revenge.

We know everyone is going to make bad jokes in the comment boxes, believe me Schmalz, Andy and I have been making them for the past five months. When it’s finally released all (okay most) of the jokes will stop.

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