Sunday’s mountain battle was an entertaining romp in to the Alps, with Danny Pate trying to squeeze out a win on the hill, and the GC contenders taking swings at one another like underwater prizefighters. It looked as if they were clawing their way up the mountain, and attacking each other whenever the opportunities presented themselves. Menchov looked frisky, VDV was able to hang and Cadel looked vulnerable – but he always does. There were attacks and counter attacks, with no one dominating the moves, and this got me to thinking. 

This year it seems like the performances in the mountains haven’t been super-human (except for some Saunier Duval attacks – where did those guys go?), and that fact allows me to hope just a little that there might be less "chemical enhancement" in the peloton, but this is bike racing, of course. You get worked up and then you find out that they’ve all been taking some form of monkey hemoglobin that there was no test for, so like most cycling fans I take all performances with a grain of salt – and I really hate that. I especially hate it when my football fan friends (who watch 350 pound guys with 30 inch vertical leaps) tell me that I watch a "dirty" sport, I try to combat their jibes with the standard "at least in my sport they kick the dopers out," but that’s never a really satisfying answer, so I usually end up drowning my sorrows in tortilla chips, as I listen to the football announcers gleefully tell me that a player had a cortizone shot during halftime.

But let’s cheer up, shall we? Today should be a murderous stage, with 2 HC climbs and a 23k downhill to the finish line. Hopefully we shall see the GC contenders battling it out again today, but maybe they will be content to extend their rest day and have the race decided on L’Alpe d’Huez (a stage with 3 HC climbs) tomorrow. The top of the leader board is crowded with contenders, and it will be a challenge for Cadel to follow all five of those guys – especially with this teammates getting dropped like pencils in homeroom. Where was Popo yesterday? But now he doesn’t have to defend yellow, so that will give his guys a rest. Menchov, Sastre and Schleck have been aggressive with VDV hanging in there, biding his time for the time trial. Kohl is in unchartered waters here, he may hang in there, he may end up 138th, there’s no way of telling.

85 k to go, and I’m tuning in as they crest the first climb of the day, Schumacher is away. There are other packets of riders spread out in front of the race, none of the contenders are there, unless you include Cunego, you can include him if you want – I choose not to.

Voeckler is away solo in second place to Schumacher, you know you want to see Tommy grimacing his way up the mountain! Just like old times! C’mon Tommy, unzip that jersey and get France foaming!

I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t seem to get myself to like Schumacher. I don’t dislike him, but I’m never excited by the prospect of him winning. He just doesn’t inspire me – he’s like the O’Doul’s of the pro peloton.

68k to go. Now that they are on the descent, VS is showing some of the "greatest hits" as far as climbing crashes go – how can they not include Jan’s ditch trip? It was both slightly frightening and hilarious!

I’ve been seeing a lot of Cadel interviews in this Tour and it’s just obvious that he hates being interviewed. He’s nervous, anxious and pissy when he’s on camera. It seems like he uses a lot of energy getting upset with the media. I can’t say that I would be any different, but after years of being in the Tour spotlight, I’d just memorize some stock interview lines to give the press the "stiff-arm", a la Postal/Discovery. And this just in – CSC is going to have Stuart O’Grady interviewing Cadel after every stage.

Here’s a VDV interview – he says the descent will be important today (which it will be). Cadel has had his bike handling problems in the past, so his collarbone might be itching to pop out of his chest.

In fact, here’s his explanation for Sunday’s cautious ascent (from cyclingnews):

"On the final climb, the road was so wet that I pulled off a bit in the last kilometre, as I was scared of crashing." 

Cadel is so worried about crashing, he will actually climb slowly!

Coyot crashes and he’s hopping on the side of the road like Nancy Kerrigan at a Harding family ho-down.

So how many minutes will Frank Schleck need in hand to keep yellow going into the time trial? He came in 2:14 back on the 29.5k TT on stage 4, the last TT is 52k, so he will need about 60 minutes’ lead I reckon.

51k to go. Phil and Paul still in the hostage booth, they’ve become accustomed to having to drink their own urine.

Today’s stage leaves the home of Michele Ferrero, father of the Tic Tac, and it ends in Jausiers, home of the Dutch Oven, which despite its name, is a French invention.

42k to go, Schumacher starts the climb.

Cunego’s group gets to the climb. Schumacher has 5:15 on "The Little Prince" – can you imagine a less intimidating nick name? Maybe the "cuddly gerbil?" How about the "miffed kitten?"

The peloton is at 12 minutes, are they going to just roll in today, or will CSC try and get Frank some time? Judging by his descending skills (where he surfed the tree tops) from the Tour de Suisse, I would guess they are going to create a man hammock to get him to the bottom in one piece.

Pozzato is at the front of the peloton, chasing for the his teammate’s white jersey. Seeing Pozzato at the front of the group in this Tour is like seeing a beaver mix concrete.

39k to go, Schumacher has got a shot at a win today if he can get to the summit with a minute or two. The 20-ish strong group of the "miniature monarch"  is at 2:27.

Speaking of miniature, Dumoulin is off the group.

37k to go, it looks like the GC guys are in no mood to contest the stage yet today.

I think it’s time to bring up how much Schumacher looks like "Forest Gump in Vietnam" again.

So far, this stage has less action than a dance at a Baptist bible school.

35k to go, Cunego seems to be yo yo-ing off the back a bit. 

CSC is trimming the fat off the main group, as they need to probably launch Frank on the hill so he can wet his chamois on the descent.

George Hincapie is in the second group behind Schumacher at 1:29, he has a chance at a stage win.

34k to go, Cunego is dropping from the second pack like a new Hall and Oates album.

34k to go, Popo pushing the pace in the second group.

33k to go, Andy setting the pace for Frank, Phil and Paul say VDV has dropped from the GC group. Uh oh.

Kurt-Asle Arvesen goes to the front to screw VDV over. VDV will have to push on the descent. 

The yellow jersey group is down to ten guys. They are knocking guys like the contestants on "Tap Out" on VS! Can they pay me now?

Schumacher has about 30 seconds – how about that box of chocolates? Man, I hate that line!

28k togo, KAA drops off, Andy takes over for CSC, will Frank change into a crash proof bubble on the top of the mountain?

We have no idea how far back VDV is. It’s not looking good. I wonder of he’ s having trouble with the altitude?

Schumacher has 22 seconds, he’s throwing shrimp onto the road to dissuade the chasers. If Toto were here, he’d be asking the fans by the side of the road for lemon and garlic.

VDV is lost on the hill somewhere. he could have fallen off the mountain, he could be off the front, we just don’t know. Well, he probably not off the front…

25k to go, Jens is giving out bottles. He now takes over the pace making at the front, he is mentally composing a string quartet piece, and he’s also working out a Middle East Peace Accord on the team radio as he rides.

24k togo, Schumacher caught and in a group of nine that includes Hincapie – they have about 2 minutes. Maybe if they make it to the finish together this time George can knock Stefan over!

On this descent we will have two shaky descenders – Frank and Cadel – battling it out to see who will hit the ditch first!

John-Lee Augustyn of Barloworld jumps before the summit. Phil and Paul loves themselves some South Africans!

Augustyn gets the top mountain prize, he will almost surely be collected like a limited edition Gangbanger Barbie (what can I say? I have two daughters) on the descent.

Kohl crests the climb and does a great Cadel imitation as he bitches and gesticulates at the moto for water.

Here comes the descent. It’ s just a matter of not falling off the hill for the contenders.

Speaking of, Augustyn slips off the side of the mountain and takes a gravel slide, his bike is sliding back to Italy. He is now bike free. Barloworld will have to buy that bike back from Agritubel later. Finder’s keepers!

Evans looking shaky on the descent.

12k togo, Menchov gets gapped on the descent, by Cadel and Frank Schleck!

Popo, Casar and two others off the front. The winner will probably come out of that group, depending on how George descends.

7k to go, Tour radio reports that VDV is in north eastern Greece, they may be off by a little.

Augustyn still waiting for a bike change. 

5k to go, the lead four have 30 seconds on George’s group.

I have to say I’d like to see Sandy "beware of dog" Casar win here.

3k to go, he’s getting dropped a little.

2k togo, the situation is the same – Popo makes barking noises to psyche out Casar.

Menchov still hasn’t caught back to the leaders.

1.3 k to Popo jumps, Casar reacts – they are flying into the finish!

Arroyo jumps and is caught. Dessel counters and stays away for the win, Casar is second – dogs rejoice!

Was that the strangest stage finish ever? There was no flat lead-in and they had a 90 degree turn right after the line?

George is fifth – not a win today, but he earns valuable upgrade points.

Here come the leaders all together, Menchov loses about 30 seconds.

Still no sign of VDV.

There he is – 2:35 behind the leaders. Ugh!

Augustyn still waiting for a bike change. 

A VDV interview. Seems like he had a crash on the descent? Oy. He’s in 6th, back by 3:15 now.