schmalz’s log week 16

by schmalz

Section head text.

I have not been outdoors in quite a while, and I’m not just talking about riding my bike outdoors (though it has been a while since I’ve done that also, my last outdoor ride was two weeks ago); I am saying that I have been inside almost this entire year to date.

I work at home, so my commute consists of waking, scratching my ass and walking downstairs. Unlike most people who go to work, these activities do not require me to go outside. I also do not need to leave the house for meetings, as those are now mostly conference calls (spoiler alert—sometimes no pants) and shared screens, which also do not require me to be out in the world. In the winter, I essentially become a house cat. Since I defecate indoors, I only leave the house when I am required to.

My plan for pretend bike race training this winter has revolved around riding more longer on my indoor trainer. I do not have the time (ass-scratching is very time consuming) to attend a training camp somewhere warm, so I have deduced that I need to ride longer indoors than I have before. My target duration for trainer sessions has become two hours, which just a year ago would’ve seemed preposterous, but I’ve developed a strategy for these longer trainer sessions.

I’ve died inside. I have become a dead husk of what I once was.

Actually that’s not true, I’ve survived mostly due to DVR, youtube and Netflix. I’ve described the complicated alchemy it takes to plant one’s scratch magnet on a bike saddle for two hours (sometimes I even resort to Bravo—whatever it takes, whatever it takes) before, so I won’t bore you with those details. So far, it has worked. I have been doing two hour trainer sessions and have been racking up the ghost miles on Strava and mapmyride in the process. I anticipate these longer trainer sessions will forever change my pretend bike racing career for the better, and should they not turn out to be the cure to my terminal slowness, I will turn to Bravo to extinguish what’s left of my soul.

In lighter news, I am still organizing the Dubuque Gran Fondo (That "organizing a gran fondo" as a synonym for pooping joke comment never gets old, by the way. Keep doing what you do, dog.) Things have been quiet because it’s winter and the event is still eight months away. I have been working the city permitting process, and there’s reason for optimism (no permit, no fondo, no anything). I have arranged to have the National Mississippi River Museum and Aquarium host the start, finish and large expo/party. This is great because the museum is right on the Mississippi River and we can serve beer and other delights to fondo-ers. We are also in preliminary talks about getting a specialty beer brewed exclusively for the fondo, and this prospect excites me probably more than any other detail so far. I’m leaning towards a shandy, because Iowa in August is like a dog’s mouth, but I am eager to hear your suggestions. (Actually, I’m just being polite, I’ll mostly ignore your suggestions—it’s my fondo, if you want to have your own beer made, start your own fondo.)

And speaking of beer, I neglected to email Roman about this week’s beer suggestion.

 

88 Comments

Lukas Brakepad

Interesting to me that throughout my (short) time racing and riding around NYC, the Issendorf family was virtually revered for its support of local cycling. Lionized. Were there money, there would be a bronze statue of Charlie I. at the Cats Paw finish. Now, we have a rather long and inglorious series of “incidents” which each should have led to major soul searching within the team, and some sort of public discussion led by these local cycling leaders. What have I heard? Almost nothing, outside of a few lines after Bunde (vague recollection – not even sure). Is the Mengoni staff simply stuck with heads in sand, or do they not feel any responsibility to take a lead on this issue? As far as I’m concerned, the failure of leadership here is pretty stark. I don’t race anymore, but still follow the scene. What I see from the sidelines makes me quite sad – the whole NYC cycling scene has a feeling of being post-peak and fading fast. This is in no small part because you can still line up at a race today and see some kid who is obviously using stuff (not by appearance, but by local gossip and reputation, and yes perhaps national origin and connections), and with the appearance of tacit approval by team leaders – or at least inadquate leadership and education in ethical sportsmanship. What say you, Charlie I? Hopefully, more than the NOTHING I have heard to date.
Chris M

Lucas Headbadge

I’m with you on mengoni and charlie i… There are some good people on the team but if you are seeing this pattern continue to play itself out and you aren’t leaving, or if you are joining, you are knowingly throwing your name in with cheaters. It may be “just bike racing” but why would you do that?

I disagree on the idea that the city scene is fading, though. On the contrary, I think there are more people, guys and girls, and of a younger age bracket, who are into racing now than there have been in the last say, 5-10 years.

Froomestrong

If this long history of doping had happened to a pro team heads would roll by now, managers resigning. To put it simply Mengoni is an embarrassment to NY cycling.

Froomestrong

If this long history of doping had happened to a pro team heads would roll by now, managers resigning. To put it simply Mengoni is an embarrassment to NY cycling.

Bridgegate Biker

Given the past with this team. I would hope that race promoters will not invite this team to certain events. I know that would be really tough for the new and clean riders, but that’s what should happen to a team with this an average doper caught every 3 years.

I think if the team and its management aren’t punished or at least take some initiative to step aside for a while, nothing is going to change with these guys. Charlie should consider how he finds his riders because clearly his way of determining if a rider is clean doesn’t work. He should take time to reevaluate everything because his team hs tainted domestic amaeteur cycling too often recently. Yes, there have been others too, but enough is enough. Maybe the entire Mengoni team needs to go take ethics-101 before each season.

Thomas Tubie

the situation sucks. But don’t pin it on Charlie I. Charlie is a super hard worker and a HUGE advocate of cycling in general. And he has made great strides and has done great things to make races happen in and around this area. In my experience, I’m not afraid to say he’s not only a hard worker, but also an HONEST one and certainly someone who has promoted this sport.

hater69

Except it’s not a pro team. There is no staff to monitor these guys 24/7. It’s just Charlie and his dad.

What they could do is at least not welcome Cesar back with open arms like they did with Bunde.

Sascha Swage

I don’t think it’s even Charlie’s team, it’s Mr. I’s team. Charlie is a race promoter, not a team manager.

Luchino Seatmast

Talk about shitting where you eat. Don’t start throwing bases accusations toward Charlie. This is the guy who does more for all of us to race than almost anyone else. My first time meeting him was at a fall race at Bear Mt in the early 90’s. I believe he DNF’d that day. That’s hardly what a doped up rider will do. He has more character and love for cycling than most. I seriously doubt he would have gone down that road.

Duracell Packaging

Would like to see Mengoni based in the DR where everyone is doped up and they would be on a level playing field. They all speak Spanish anyway, so the team would be fine operating there instead of the U.S.

Tegghiaio Downtube

Hey Cesar,

How does it feel knowing you’re a giant pussy every time you take one of those pills? Can’t wait to give you a proper ass whopping you piece of shit…

Brent Compliant

of course they tested. he got nailed @ the Lou Maltese Race where he “took” (stole) 2nd place. He followed that up with a bunch of big-purse 1st and 2nd placings including Freedom Tour, Mengoni Grand Prix etc etc. On testing, he tried ducking out; claiming “me no understand” and “me can’t pee”

Tegghiaio Downtube

I think he raced with a DR license because the results where I know he raced, there is no USAC number, only says GS Mengoni under team

sauce boss

i don’t hate the kid. frankly, i don’t feel much of anything close to the resentment expressed below. clearly, Cesar was looking to become pro. And at the age of 20/21, when (a) cycling has probably been a lifelong expectation for you to succeed in, and (b) you don’t yet lack the autonomous clarity to weigh decisions so heavily influenced by negative situational factors, doping is probably another (albeit less common) retrospective of “i made a lot of mistakes when i was younger.” Cesar is young, and has a promising life that has yet to begin in earnest. The kid made a mistake, and he’ll probably have to live with the backlash, and presumably some sense of regret because of it. Live and learn. We all do.

Tegghiaio Rivnut

Bullsh*t – why do we overprotect? At 14 or 15, maybe 16 that’s a youthful mistake. At 21 you’re a man. Man up. He, more than just about anyone, knew exactly what he his was doing. It’s also interesting the commonalities among the local dopers. The culture and the environment needs to change to break the cycle and this doesn’t happen by making lame excuses.

Tegghiaio Internal Routing

You need to go to pro level races (NRC, NCC, UCI) and beat the pros to become one… last I saw there aren’t any of those races in NYC.

Kobe Tracknut

Won cat 2 Somerville in 2012. Also beat Brad Huff in New Britain that year. Crazy stuff.

I hope the young guy doesn’t get a second chance around here. Too many guys are welcomed back.

Also crazy is how many guys have been busted. I agree with p locknut. That masters cat 3 from Mass that got busted lasted week? Either the random samples are very good at catching the cheaters or cheating is a whole lot more prevalent than I thought. It’s just depressing to think about.

Matteo Locknut

The whole Cesar dynamic was quite interesting. He gets nailed (and he KNEW he was nailed) mid-season on July 21, 2013. It takes…what…7 friggin’ months for it to be “official”? THAT is deplorable. But, notwithstanding that, Cesar doesn’t take part in any of the races to follow. So what’s that about?!? Does he know he would get an INCREASED penalty if he continues to race? Does he get some sort of lienancy during the 7 months? Is he just scared to get verbal abuse from the peloton? I wonder

Benjamin Headbadge

We are pleased to announce the 2014 GS Mengoni USA Cycling Team. Returning riders are Al Barouh, Eugene Boronow and Juan Carlos Polanco. New riders to the team are Everhard Paredes and Tony Hall (both from the Champion System/Stan’s No Tube), Rene Herrera (from Kissena), and Karl Nelson (from the East End Cycling Team).

Luca Ferrule

Not one of you jealous cunts would turn down the chance to join the team if you were fast enough to get on.

Hot Tube

“Marte’s two-year period of ineligibility began on August 26, 2013, the date he accepted a provisional suspension.” He had to stop racing a month later, but I suspect he knew what everyone else instantly knew and probably did the right thing by not racing. i would hope…

Rayan Chainline

Sounds like he kept racing until the road season ended, then accepted the “provisional suspension” knowing if he managed to successfully appeal the positive, the provisional suspension would not cause him to miss any races and if he failed to overturn the positive, it would get the clock ticking on his two years.

Hot Tube

really? It’s not hard to name a number of long running Cat 1/2 teams that have a good reputation. Mengoni has had multiple dopers over the years. I would call that pretty pathetic and it sort of taints a lot of their wins they’ve had. It certainly casts a shadow over the clean/talented riders that have come through that team, such as Myerson, KBH and the rest.

But to entertain your challenge here are a few off the cuff 1/2 teams that have been around for some time without doping issues and provide great rider support: CCB, ECV, CCNS, BikeReg/NCC, Litespeed-BMW, KBS, Stans, Champ-sys 2013, Cal-Giant-Berry Farms (U23) and I could go on.

Matteo Locknut

Luca Ferrule and hater69 – you guys are quite a couple (of bonheads). The bar has been set quite low by the team in question. Based on their apparent standards (or better yet, lack thereof) currently shining through in flying colors, the statement “name them” is an easy task. Just about every local team out there exceeds their “support”.

Froomestrong

I was about to say that he should man up and make an apology to the local racing scene. Then it occurred to me that he’s not sorry, not at all. If anything, like the others he’s only sorry he got caught.

Mengoni related doping cases.
2013(Marte-Mengoni),
2010(Quintero-former rider for Mengoni),
2007(Bunde-Mengoni).

WTF

Giulio del Friuli

Hater69 – please grab ears and pull head from your ass which smells really good because you know it.

NOBODY further than 100 miles from here can tell you much about GS Mengoni. Holy shit – what a goldfish you are. Mengoni is a local club that has produced modest results. End.

Pedro

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Arthur Tank

Haha I think that qualifies as an oxymoron. Equivalent to “an exceptional C+ student”. His crossresults are equivalent to weekend warrior B race pack-fill.

Matteo Rubber Hood

I was watching the promo for nelson and someone said that he was the fastest from 0 to 50. you can’t hit 50 on a track. get off the pipe man.

Matteo Seatpost

He cheated. He got caught. He’ll do his time. It’s just a hobby. If you get so worked up over this, you should find a different hobby. Go out, ride your bike and have some fun. The bad thing is that now our hobby is getting more expensive to catch the guys who can’t play fair.

Kylian Brakepad

Gabriel Helmet – you got 2 out of 3 answers correct.

Surviving 5 laps of a 30 lap crit does not a PRO make.

Francesco Butyl

I googled it. From the description, it looks like this is something you take with something else. It lets you exercise longer, but exercising longer only helps if you are going to get a benefit from the longer exercise. Sounds like it works similar to testosterone.
So he might have been microdosing on EPO and wasn’t careful with the Modafinil dosing. Hopefully lots of other riders will see this and reconsider doping.

The most interesting Cat 3 in NJ

“I may not always leave the house in winter, but when I do I shovel my driveway”.

Eli

Those miles on Strava don’t count, I don’t care what algorithm you used to get there.

Once you’ve been inside for 2 weeks, the average speed of your “previous ride” is no longer relevant.

Total strava milage seems to be: x – 12 months, apparently.

Tawanna

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Hot Tube

I hope he at least makes a public apology of some sort now that it’s official. At least DA was able to do that.

Quinten Biopace

Modafinil has been shown to prolong exercise time to exhaustion while performing at 85% of VO2max and also reduces the perception of effort required to maintain this threshold.[68] Modafinil was added to the World Anti-Doping Agency “Prohibited List” in 2004 as a prohibited stimulant

wheelsucker

A quick google shows that 30 tablets of Modafinil cost way more than 2nd place at Maltese earns. Guess it is for the pure joy of winning.

Froomestrong

I wonder if his 3rd place at the Vuelta de Indepence la National was tainted?

Levi, Dave Z, George, Cesar Too?: Yes

Provenzano Locknut

What are the odds? Last two metro NY surprise drug tests turn up three positives out of six tested – two in Gran Fondo in 2012 and one in Maltese in 2013. Combine with that all the NY area guys who have tested positive in the past few years and it seems there is a disturbing percent of riders juicing…still.

Matteo Locknut

Well it’s about time. Marte Jr and Marte pops were both very quick to voice their opinion and take a hard-nosed position. Kind of funny how this karma thing works its magic.

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