Friday, December 12, 2008

 

So far this winter’s training has been bereft of any sort of enormous revelations. Granted, winter training is a monotonous grind that ends only when the first race begins, but I was hoping for some sort of radical change in myself. I have discovered the wonders of schmalz-bata, which is really just a hybrid of plyometrics and Tabata training, but hybrids can be compelling stuff, a Prius is a hybrid—as is the mullet—it’s a hybrid of a party in the back and all business up front. 

 

I went outside for a ride today, and I’m writing this journal entry after the fact, and for the life of me, I can’t remember this ride. I’m sure I just went up to my sprint spot and did my sprint workout, but any recollection of the details of that experience are gone. I fear I may have done this workout in my sleep, and I just have the Power Tap file to prove it. I hope that while I was getting ready to sleep sprint through my workout, I remembered to wear clothes. A quick search through the Ridgewood police report for “lewd”, “indecent” and “lightning fast with nearly indelible tan lines (even in winter)” should help put this case to rest.

 

Oh, the sprints were as follows: 1027, 1028, 1081, 1064, 1063. I blame my nudeness for not breaking the 1100 mark—dangling bits and body hair are not very aero.

 

 

Saturday, December 13, 2008 155

 

There’s no time this weekend to wedge a ride into the hectic holiday schedule, so I did a quick schmalz-bata workout in the basement before the rest of the family awoke. Tonight will be dedicated to ingesting intoxicants, small party foods and subjecting a crowd un-used to my “wisdom” to my special brand of blather. No one is really prepared for my musings about Rankin Bass productions or my obsession with Henley shirts (why?! Really, why!?) and needless to say, I will not bring up my compulsion to spend great amounts of time outdoors in my man tights – I wouldn’t want to seem like a freak, after all…

 

Monday, December 15, 2008

 

Today I took advantage of the unusually warm weather and hit the road for a quick ride. I had a limited window of opportunity, so an hour would have to do. I just went out and rode wildly like a mad person. That’s really all there was to it. Nothing happened, there was a little left over mud on the bike trails. Not earth-shaking news, but I felt that I had to get out the door because another patch of December rain is coming along. And then I will be shoved back into my basement to make mental battle with the rollers once again. I have only the second half of the Big Lebowski to use to ward off the dark roller voices in my head. Does that paragraph sound too motivational to you? I’m thinking of getting one of those headset microphones and hitting the inspirational speaking circuit.

 

 

 Tuesday, December 16, 2008

 

It was a soggy day today. It wasn’t raining at ride time; but it looked threatening out there, and at times like these, I’m reminded of what my grandfather said, “There’s nothing funny about a wet ass”, of course he was speaking in regards to ice fishing and the hypothermia threats from sitting in water—but the lesson stands nonetheless. I opted for rollers, as I didn’t want a wet, hypothermic ass and I didn’t really want to soil my clean bike.

 

I had 34 minutes of Lebowski left to help ease my pain, after that I had to resort to midday NFL network programming, mostly shows developed to keep Steve Sabol in a job by keeping his old NFL Films footage busy. Today’s fare was “10 Most Elusive Runners of the NFL”. And not one mention of Elroy “Crazylegs” Hirsch! Madness! And if you think I didn’t just do a youtube search for Crazylegs footage you are sorely mistaken, and I also came up with nothing.

 

I did a regulation workout of 20/10s, they will be lower than the ones I did outside last week, I’m sure, as rollers drain your strength—it’s a proven scientific fact.

 

Tonight I also did some schmalz-bata. I might be feeling that tomorrow.

 

 

 Wednesday, December 17, 2008

 

Today I woke up with that special soreness you only get from a gym-type workout. Grated, in my case it was from jumping up and down in my basement, but it created the same sort of muscle soreness I’d get from lifting weights. And since I am a nutcase cyclist, I get a special feeling of satisfaction from that soreness. It indicates that I’m accomplishing something; it means that I’m working hard. Only in the world of cycling (and maybe in the greater athletic world also, I couldn’t tell you—I really only race bikes) does pain equal a smug sense of accomplishment. I could barely walk this morning, but I was an ecstatic near invalid. That paragraph alone should qualify me for a state-sponsored mental heath program, but these are lean financial times and I imagine the state of New jersey has bigger fish to fry.

 

I started out my roller ride with some effort due to my smug soreness, but I eventually got into the groove. I loaded up a “Top Gear” playlist on youtube and spun away. I do admit to being a bit of a “petrol head”, but I admire cars from a distance only. The family wagon gets driven about 4 times a week as it is, so there’s no need to search for a replacement anytime soon. I do take special pleasure in the fact that they regularly savage in a British manner the cars that the Big Three poop out.

 

 

 Thursday, December 18, 2008

 

The first winter storm of the training season is pending right now, so I took my opportunity to get outside while the weather was still agreeable. I did some kinda hard intervals 2 sets of 20 minutes, and I did all right. The first interval passed at 255 watts, and the second (after a stop to repair a flat – my first training flat since last winter) went by at 252 watts—not too shabby, I weighed in this morning at 154, and I expect the forthcoming indoor stand on the rollers to sweat away extra body juices once more, resulting in a weight loss in a process much akin to drying beef into jerkey. Schmalz jerkey! Place your orders now.