Every Calorie Counts from DessertBuzz.com :The first in a series of articles about what riders eat.

Despite advances in nutrition and splashy product endorsements from Cycling stars, riders are remarkably independent and stubborn about what they will eat on a ride. The roots of this stubbornness are often hard to trace.Some guys won’t leave the house without two full bottles of a specific flavor of their favorite powdered energy drink and a baggie with an additional serving for hour 4. While others, like Greg LeMond back in the day, will pretty much stop and eat whatever calories they can get their hands on, whether it be some Suzi-Q’s (460 cals) from 7-Eleven or a NYC hotdog (250 cals w/bun) like my teammate sometimes eats on the way out to Nyack.

Which rider are you? Do you roll with a chicken leg wrapped in aluminum foil? How about stuffing a roast beef sandwich with bread soaked in brandy like some 70’s Belgian dude from “Sunday in Hell”? Are you a “natural food” person and insist on eating only “real” foods like bananas and orange slices? Or have you drunk the chemical industry Kool-aid? You only head out with measured servings of crystallized electrolytes and carb replacements drinks? Maybe you’re that guy who confounds everyone at Orchards by only bringing one small half-filled standard bottle on a 90 degree day, inexplicably shelling everyone and calling into question everything they have read.Lets take a closer look at some of the most common ride foods:

Banana: A classic choice

Cost: $0.35 or 4 for a $1.00 at street-side fruit stands throughout NYC

Ways to save money during recession: Haggle mercilessly with poor immigrant fruit stand guy to get 5 for a dollar.

Calories: about 100, protein: 1g, fat: trace, carbs: about 27gPro’s: Tastes pretty good, all natural, contains 500mg of potassium, flinging a banana peel into the woods from the far side of the paceline is satisfying. Maybe because the motion is similar to the way bidons in the Tour are discarded prior to the field sprint.

Cons: All natural except for the pesticides and unknown effects of genetically modified banana plants. Throwing peels on the road is littering even if you’re Mario fucking Cippolini.

Someone who uses this food to ride probably listens to: Grateful Dead, Tribe Called Quest

Three scoops of Hammer Sustained Energy : If you can overlook the fact that it was pioneered and designed by Triathletes, it’s an excellent choice supported by science.

Cost: $1.66 or $50 for 30 servings

Ways to save money during recession: Purchase expired product on Ebay–$35.00 for 30 servings, wheat bugs and their larvae provide extra protein.

Calories: 343, Protein: 10g, Fat: 1g, Carbs: 73g

Pro’s easy to consume in cold–you can’t open a Cliff Bar with lobster claw mittens on, and you’ll crack a tooth biting into a Power Bar at 25 degrees–a sophisticated mix of Protein, carbs, electrolytes and vitamins that will keep you riding strong all day.

Cons: Like cheap vodka you have to cut it with something, otherwise it tastes like the powder at the bottom of a near-empty box of Cheerios. Uttering the name of the product makes you sound like a muscle head from Venice Beach circa 1985. Someone who uses this food reads Wired magazine and/or listens to Kraftwerk.

Fig Newtons: Not sure why they became so popular for cycling but in the 80’s everybody used them. A sleeve of fig bars in your jersey basically says “I am riding far today Mother F_er!”

Cost: $1.99-3.69 for a box of 30.

Ways to save money during recession: Buy house brand “fig cookie bars” from CVS or Duane Reade

Calories: 55 (1 cookie) , Protein: 0.5g, Fat: 1g, Carbs: 11g

Pro’s Tastes pretty good, soft and easy to eat, great source of carbs and compact calories (a sleeve is almost 1000 calories)

Cons: Dry, better have lots of water, did I mention they’re mad dry? Also they contain trans fat (see below) Someone who uses this food Hikes and may be part of a food co-op. Interesting Fig Newton fact: They used to contain lard and still contain trans fat, making this ride food as deadly as carrying a Black Mamba in your jersey. If a food contains less than .49 grams of trans fat per serving the food can advertise “O grams of trans fat”.

Enervit Energy Bar You don’t see too many in the New York City area rocking these bars. Maybe it’s the price, maybe it’s because it sounds like a Physical Therapy modality or maybe, just maybe, its a little too Euro even for us? Are we afraid it will taste like Wheatabix?

Cost: $60.00 for a box of 30 bars.Ways to save money during recession: Travel to Zelbio, Italy and pick up some on the cheap from the headquarters. Calories: 120 (1bar) , Protein: 2.0g, Fat: 3g, Carbs: 21g

Pro’s Tastes like good muesli, easy to eat, great source of carbs, if you wear some obscure Italian club jersey, fake a good accent and pull a few of these out on a ride, riders may assume you are pro.

Cons: Only 120 cals, not such a good value, they have pictures of wheat on the packaging which is not very appetizing when you are on hour # 5 dehydrated and bonking.

Someone who uses this food may read The New Yorker and listen to Radiohead and Billy Bragg.

More knowledge: The Enervit Enervitene “Cheerpack“  At almost $5 a pouch is one of the most pro things you can have in your jersey besides a race radio and a testosterone patch for your balls. It’s only 120 Cals and a Toga employee once described it as “nasty as all hell but people say it works if you can keep it down” – It has got an odd, valve-like nozzle similar to a sterile blood pouch and instead of illustrations of wheat on the packing it got a much more motivating “blurred bike racer”.

What have you eaten or seen other riders eat on a ride? Submit your answers below. Two lucky posters will win gift baskets from World of Grains which are delicious whole grain cookies perfect for riding. Posts will be chosen for creativity and humor (points off for anyone who says “the competition” or “I’m a cannibal”)