It’s been another week of Brian’s blunderbuss-ed athletic schedule, made more tiresome by the appearance of Jed Kornbluh, ex-local "racer" and irritant. I aim to maintain my cultivated sense of decorum this week. (And if you’re sending Brian nasty emails, please, keep it up.)

Tuesday October 18

Gatens When the new Breakin’ Brian picture is up is when I begin to receive hate email.

So yesterday was a 1.5 on the rollers. I’m thinking ride for an hour tonight and go back to my class for more abuse at the hands of June Cleaver.

Of course, that’s if you awake from your absinthe induced slumber and decide that I should do different.

schmalz Who’s sending you hate mail?

Gatens There are some things that even I can’t tell my coach.

And it’s not really ‘hate mail’. It’s more like ‘not nice mail that one sends when they’re bored of sitting in their parent’s basement in their pajamas’.

Oh, and I find it amusing regarding the speculation that I’m a figment of your imagination.

In other news, ever see Fight Club?

Kornbluh I’m liking the Breaking Brian pieces. Very entertaining, especially from my desk as I eat a pork sandwich from DiBruno brothers… I’m actualy working up a sweat – might be the extra sharp provolone or perhaps the broccoli rabe and long hots.
 
I start bike commuting in November – 45 miles each way – in preparation for my 2012 goal: Keep Brian Gatens among the Cat 4s by blocking him in every Cat 3/4 race, even if I have to drive to Floyd every Tuesday.
 
Every Batman needs a Joker.

Gatens Like I said, Hate mail. . .

schmalz This will not go well.

Kornbluh Oh, I know, but dammit it WILL make great fodder for the idots who read your web thing.
 
You should see my new commuter – a repurposed CX bike with a generator hub and fenders. I think I’m turning into a retro grouch.

schmalz Yes, yes "retro", right…

Gatens Two men go into Thunderome. Only one comes out. . .

Kornbluh Ugh.
 
IT’s
 
Two men ent-ah, one man leaves.
 
GOSH.

schmalz Ooh, so precise, maybe you’re not the Joker, perhaps you’re "The Stickler"!

Kornbluh Yes, that’s much better.

Gatens Getting back on topic. I’m thinking an hour tonight with 8 if those silly 20/10’s.

schmalz That’s a good plan, you should do about 8-10 hours total this week.

Gatens Got it. Also be running in the morning. I would say about 7 miles. I know it’s silly sorry.

I aspire to be the Cousin Oliver of the peloton. Smallish, extraneous and spine tinglingly annoying.

Gatens I just finished the hour on the bike with eight of those 20/10’s  I’ve been relegated to watching The Walking Dead with captions only as it appears that screaming zombie victims aren’t conducive to sleeping.

You know between the Breaking Bad homage and my incessant plugging of TWD I’m surprised that AMC hasn’t hit us with a development deal.

I want 30% and 10 points up front.

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Thursday, October 20

Gatens Today I’m accessing my inner Olivia Newton John by going to the functional fitness class again.

The good news is that I’m going to a family wedding this weekend. Therefore I’ll be able to complete my funky chicken intervals. Which from what I understand were a huge part of Jan’s success during his heady tour days.

schmalz I expect you to come back with the garter belt AND the bouquet. Don’t let the fact that the people with you at the wedding are family get in the way of your need for accomplishment.

Gatens I was actually going to set up the rollers just outside the church so that I could watch the festivities. It’ll be kind of hard during the sign of peace but I can certainly make the turn up the center aisle with my world renowned handling skills. Holdja Amen!

schlego™ duration Fitness Class?

Friday, October 21

Gatens

From Velominati:

Rule #86
 / Don’t half-wheel.
Never half-wheel your riding partners; it’s terrible form – it is always the other guy who sets the pace. Unless, of course, you are on the rivet, in which case it’s an excellent intimidation technique.22

schmalz It took a random blog to teach you that? Do you even listen to me?

Gatens I listen to you, but ignore you with joy (and a mix of loathing thrown in for good measure).

Keep in mind that knowledge doesn’t necessary mean compliance.

schmalz Maybe you should be doing 50 of those 20/10s.

Gatens I’m riding tomorrow morning on the rollers before my 5K. Is two hours good?

schmalz Two hours is always good, bad for sanity—but good for racing.

Gatens Two hours it is. 

Saturday, October 22

Gatens Into the 2nd hour on the bike. Finished up Season 1 of The Walking Dead and am watching the beginning of Season 2. 

How can AMC not jump on sponsoring a team? Who wouldn’t jump on the chance to be on ‘Bicycling Bad’  or ‘The Riding Dead’?

schmalz My team would be called "Sad Men"—pow! Pun power!

Gatens Call it 1:45 on the rollers steady. Of have done the whole 2:00, but I have a 5K race to go an try and win. 

Oh and I weighed 183.6 lbs. this morning. Down a couple of pounds, but I have a wedding tonight and the franks in a blanket are calling my name. 

schmalz Weddings present a great opportunity for power work. Pick any song that has a tempo of "Celebration" or higher, find a stout relative, place them on your back and do the funky chicken legs. Alternate that movement with the running man motion for the duration of the song. Cool down with "You Look Wonderful Tonight". If the band doesn’t play these songs, lodge a protest.

Gatens My bad. I went 20:46 for 29th place. I’ll try to do worse next time. 

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Sunday, October 23

Gatens The Jump Around/Rob Bass mix satisfied my plyometric work for the week. 

Monday, October 24

Gatens 1 hr. treadmill today

Like a stick in the eye

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