Checking in with The Voices

With the end of spring racing fast approaching, a review of some key races and early season moments makes sense. Successes, failures, and the would-have could-haves. To that end, I arranged a brief interview with The Voices.

Hungry: Thanks for agreeing to meet me here for this. It’s good to speak with you off the bike.

The Voices: You know this is not an original idea for a column, right? Anyway, successes? What successes? I don’t remember any successes.

Hungry: Well, we had the two 4th places in Prospect Park at the Spring Series.

The Voices: OK, so 4th place will get you listed on the team website, but it’s no success in my book. I don’t care how many fatties you outsprinted. I want podiums, mister. I’d rather talk about what happened at Battenkill.

Hungry: Sure let’s talk about that. I had the finish all planned out. Attack at the village line sign, about 1k to go. But those two guys were off the front, I was a bit boxed in and couldn’t get free. And YOU let me down. You should have been yelling at those bastards to get out of the way. We should have been up there bumping and pushing them aside. I had the legs to do it. Where were you?

@##=#<2,L>@##=#The Voices: You’re the mouth, I’m just the brain. If you want to play it safe and easy sitting in the draft, that’s not my problem. You still made gas money.

Hungry: Now who’s settling. Remember last year when I thought I finally had you on my side?

The Voices: I am on your side, but don’t expect me to let you make excuses. Gosh, isn’t it a beautiful day? Look at the colors in the woods. Smell the fresh air. I wonder if there are any morels in there. What kind of bird is…

Hungry: HEY!!

The Voices: Sorry, you know I can’t help distracting you from the task at hand.

Hungry: Let’s quickly hear your take on some other races. CRCA A field.

The Voices: Ooooh. A field. Big shot. Ken Harris kicking your ass now along with everyone else. In a break for half a lap in the points race? No one cares, sucker.

Hungry: Palmer

The Voices: Little climber boy gets away at the top of the “hill” for another short-lived break, yeah? Finds a lucky line in the sand to the finish for gas money again? Who cares? How’s the “diet” coming? You’re eating ice cream right now, aren’t you?

Hungry: Damn, busted! But it’s practically fat free, except for all the chocolate chips. Sturbridge

The Voices: You’ve got to stop following Westwood like some dumb groupie. Be smart. Train hard, race easy. Those guys think there’s glory in flaming out to no end. TT’s suck. I don’t give a hoot about your new Easton pursuit bars.

Hungry: But…but…sigh. Turkey Hill

The Voices: Now that was a race with the big boys. To bad you chickened out and sat at the back with the varicose vein crowd for the whole race. Who cares if you crash out some dumb jock neo-pro who gets paid to race? You ended up sprinting back on after every corner. That’s 48 sprints in one race. CAN YOU GET ANY DUMBER?? Then you gave up when you got popped with Bobby Lea the last time up the wall.

Hungry: I thought it was a respectable point to get dropped.

@##=#<3,R>@##=#The Voices: I know what you thought. Quitter!

Hungry: US 40k TT.

The Voices: Do you ever wonder how the leaves seem to come out all at once? Like, one day they’re not there, and the next day it’s green everywhere? Gosh it’s windy. Do you think the animals notice that the leaves suddenly appear? I’m getting hungry. What’s for…

Hungry: Bear Mountain

The Voices: See Sturbridge above. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. Train hard, race easy. Can we stop now?

Hungry: OK, but can we first make a deal? Be on my side at Syracuse. We’ll go out for dinner afterwards. Maybe I’ll get us a steak.

The Voices: You mean the race with only 10 people signed up?

Hungry: Umm. Right. Sounds good, no?

The Voices: OK, for some fatty meat and butter on my potato, I’ll do it.

Hungry: Done. But there’s a climb, so it’s beans and salad for the next two weeks.

The Voices: Jerk! Tomorrow morning for repeats up the mountain? Think you can handle three?

Hungry: It’s a date.

Giant Lima Beans

These are not the chewy green limas from the school cafeteria or the TV dinner. Get a bag of Goya giant limas or track down some dried butter beans and you’ll see how creamy, nutty and sweet beans should be.

1 pound giant lima beans or butter beans

2 cloves garlic, sliced

1 dried small hot chile (optional)

1 bay leaf

1 spring fresh thyme

1 tablespoon black peppercorns

1/4 or 1/2 lemon, juice and rind

Put the ingredients above in a large pot and cover with water plus an inch or two. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cover. Add small amounts of water when necessary. Taste from time to time to see how soft they are. This will take 30 minutes or more.

1 onion, diced

1 stalk celery, diced

Add the onion and celery at the beginning and it will form a “sauce”. Wait until the beans are nearly done and the onion and celery will retain their form and some individual flavor.

1/2 red bell pepper, seeded, ribs removed and cut into match sticks.

Salt to taste

Parsley for garnish

Olive oil for garnish

A touch more fresh lemon juice

When the beans are nearly all soft and creamy but still holding their shape, add the pepper and salt to taste. Cook for a few minutes more. Serve hot or cold, garnished with parsley and olive oil.