Yesterday I had my forty-fifth birthday, and in years past this milestone might mean pausing to take stock of my place in life, but I’m at an age now where I realize that death is rushing towards me and I don’t have time for that sort of thing anymore. Taking time to contemplate the mysteries of life is for the young, older people know that there’s no mystery to life—there’s long periods of tedium and toil interspersed with moments of pure joy—and the key is to make those nasty times as pleasant as possible, because they make up almost all of our time on the planet. Make the nasty tolerable, and you’ve won at life, but that’s all the information I’m sharing about the secrets of living here because, as I mentioned before, I really don’t have time for this stuff.
While we’re on the subject of tedium and toil, I’ve also been riding my bike to get faster as of late. Weather conditions have forced me indoors for a fews days this past week, but I’ve endured those minutes on the trainer with a steady drip of moving pictures from my DVR storage device. I also managed to incorporate a few intervals while sitting in front of my DVR, so I guess that means that the true assault on 2014 has begun.
Also involved in my assault on 2014 athletic dominance was my appearance at the CRCA awards bonanza at the Rapha clubhouse. I’m pretty sure that I managed to cough on everyone that was faster than me (there’s nothing in the USAcycling rulebook about germ warfare—go ahead, look it up). Plus, I was able to handle all of the awards that were presented, so prepare to be infected champions! Round one of the 2014 season goes to me!
Roman’s Beer Corner
We have a winner in our limericks for beer contest, the winner is Maxime Supple for this submission:
Battenkill reg opens next week,

But this cold has made me feel weak.

Stressing over numbers.

To train or to slumber?

When did we become such geeks?
Roman really liked this one, so if you wrote this limerick, please email me using the contact link in the navigation bar, and I will arrange for a visit from Fair Lawn’s foremost beer fanatic.
And because he is a glutton for punishment, Roman has agreed to do another week’s contest, the challenge this time is to create a word story or poem about the virtues of cycling in 20 words or less, you can tell Roman came up with this concept as it contains the term "virtue" and not the terms "poop" or "digestion" as an entry concocted by someone else might.
This week’s beer choice is also the prize for this week’s contest, the Goose Island Bourbon County Brand Coffee Stout, which goes on sale on Black Friday. Roman will, of course be delivering a 2012 vintage from his private collection to the winner of this week’s contest, because apparently some people keep beer in their house without drinking it immediately.
Do people in NYC know that there are other non descript clothing brands beside Rapha? Just curious.
All of the captchas are outdated. “Levi, Dave Z, (Lance, Ryder, Tommy, Christian, Ekimov) George too?: *”
I rock the Primal Wear kit. And I like it.
Rapha has replaced Assos as the ultimate Fredware
I love the reference to “Rapha gear wearing riders,” as if it automatically commands a certain level of respect.
Round-Faced Rapha-Wearing White Male of European Descent to WS United.
“Put a stripe on it” is the new “put a bird on it”.
LA gives up Verbruggen, McQuaid.
The other day I got a iJ.bonKa.6 at a massage parlor. While my butt hurt a little, it was still worth every penny.
@6:13 pm: No, no, no. I like Assos.
To your comment about “scream obscenities at Rapha gear wearing riders”, I am afraid I have no idea what you are talking about.
I talk a lot when I am riding(“On your left”, type of stuff) mostly out of desire to protect myself, people that I ride with, and others around me. However, I don’t usually scream obscenities without any reason or unless provoked(and that rarely happens, unless you are a cab drivers trying to squeeze me off the road)
I have hardly ridden outside in the last 3 weeks, and I don’t recall yelling obscenities to anyone. If you think that was absolutely me, then I am sure I had my own good reasons(Again, I don’t recall)
I do recall telling a rider to “slow the f%#k down!” type of words, as an inconsiderate rider came barreling down at 25 mph on a crowded bike path(weekend day filled with kids, runners and walkers), but again, it is more out of respect for others.
May be you can explain how it happened?
Thanks.
Etsu
Cycling to me
An honor it be
Slow, fast or nuts
Fred, dude or putz
Rolling 2 wheels sets you free
is this beer Black Xantus level of quality? How do I get my hands on some?
Thank god. What else would we talk about?
I can say having drank some early test batches this beer is the shit.
Which beer you are talking about mate?
What beer you are talking about mate?
There once was a horny young fellow,
Who was diddling his own Pinarello.
He made such a racket,
Reaming his stiff bottom bracket.
God, it was better than being in yellow.
I used to be king
Now I try to limit my loss
They want me to sing
While I just want my salad tossed
Naked, laying on my back.
Feet behind my head,
lifting my balls,
while applying ointment to saddle sores.
Gross. Thanks for sharing….not.
Choads — Whiners, weaklings, or riders who complained or couldn’t hack it. A term used specifically by Armstrong. For example: American cyclist Bobby Julich was deemed to be a “grade-A choad.â€
There was a young cad named DA,
Who needed to suck dope just to play.
He was busted by Dieter,
Exposed as a cheater.
From cycling, he has since run away.
I needed Ferrari’s needle to hack it on the road
I called McQuaid’s number so I could whine
I cried to Oprah to avoid any fine
But don’t you dare call me a choad
NYC racing cyclists lack rhythm –
their iambs, no bounce – but go with ’em
to the shitter out at Floyd,
and try T, greenie, ‘roid,
win the Lou Maltese, then off to prison.
Instructions are hard
Don’t be a ‘tard
20 and done
On why cycling is fun.
To the round flat fat face Asian muppet on FGX squad…next time you scream obscenities at Rapha gear wearing riders think about:
1. What does it say about you?
2. What does it say about your team?
3. How would your sponsors feel that they support you, a massive taintwipe?
So, Bro you gotta act more Cat3 pro…
Not sure what the FGX guy said, but your racist post is really heinous. It makes “Rapha gear wearing riders” look really bad and does far more damage to your own rep than some fleeting incident on the road that no one else witnessed does to FGX. Congrats
new low even for this comments section. pissy slap fight between sissy cyclists? what is this, jets and sharks? over what colors you were wearing?
Whether you are correct or not is immaterial. This site has no place for racial remarks.
WTF Etsu, didn’t you see he was wearing Rapha? Shit, his socks cost more than your wheels, show some respect.
I hope the OP was the bike path speeder. What a nut job.
Cycling’s odd virtue?
spewing emails like dog doo.
Immature venting;
Perhaps violence preventing?
Etsu your response was was unneeded as everyone knows it wasn’t you. OP is a piece of shit racist. I hope he mistook you for me and I wish I punched him in the kidney. At least I now know to look for understated sporting elegance of Rapha before I bitch the next Fred out.
Dan, take the original post down already.
Rapha Fan,
You seemed to have missed the irony of your post. You are dispensing advice about the optics of yelling profanity at another cyclist, while showing no self awareness whatsoever and that you are racist and petty. Next time send an email to someone on the team and tell them of the uncool behavior.
Sadly, now I’m left wondering which one of the Rapha guys is a racist.
If Etsu wants it removed, I’l remove it. Right now the score seems to be Etsu 1, Rapha fan 0.
Rapha Fan to Team Anger Management p/b Dr. Phil.
I was savoring the last savory kipper on my morning tray and admiring a spot of tea whilst reading on my lappy-laptop when —
“Crikey!” I cried (or rather, croaked, having had a rummy late evening with Spinny-Whorebanger at the club) one second before my valet ducked his blasted head in the door-jamb.
“You rang, sir?”
“It says here that some Rapha chap in New York is imperious to his staff again. Jeeves?”
“Sir? Would you like another pot of Oolong or shall I bring in a restorative of bull-shot and egg-yolk in a tulip snifter.”
“Er, No, Jeeves, but by Jove these Rapha chaps can be quite imperious at times to their own servants. Why, it says here…”
“Sir, I have read the morning comments section. You will find it was merely an unfortunate spat between a Rapha chap and another bicycling chap.”
I studied the man. “Do you mean to say, Jeeves, that these muppet chaps…?”
“Shall I send your Rapha jabot back to the cleaners, Sir? There is a fleck of snot still visible on the collar.”
Unflappable servants can interrupt you unflappably in the most disarming ways. I should remind myself of the ‘iron hand in the velvet glove’ again, as old gin soaked cross-eyed Spinny-W. had remonstrated me at the club only six hours earlier. But I relented.
“Right. Carry on Jeeves.”
“Indubitably, Sir.”
Blasted help is hard to find these days, what?
Not necessarily a crca team rapha guy, just pointing out.
Most likely not, because skinny childish hipsters who can’t sprint for shit aren’t racists…they’re dandyish idiots.
I think that’s more than 20 words.
Who is running the Spring Series for 2014… or is it going defunct?
I hope it isn’t going away. I love it!
can we all please agree that prejudice of ANY sort is not welcome on these pages, and that the warm embrace of our tolerance extends to those who might choose to spend $300 a riding ascot?
Rapha wearing fixie cyclists drink Goose Island Bourbon County Brand Coffee Stout.
Goose Island is way too ghetto for anything Rapha.
Ralpha riders relax to locally-sourced, gently-flayed hops and malt that are brewed in bespoke-cut Yorkshire stone squares before transfer to wooden casks taken from Andalucian sherry producers.
Do they snack on, you know, jamon especial?
jamon it jamon it, jamonandonandonit
Smallie at his best feeding off the bottom of the ny city cycling cesspool! # of clicks is king to this cyber whore!
AVD says he will be doing spring series 2014
They have at least on x-Adler..
They have at least on x-Adler..