schmalz’s log week 8

by schmalz

Section head text.

I return to the world of typing about pretend bike racing after a week off—not a week off from pretend bike racing, mind you—just a week off from typing about it. If you’ll indulge me, I will bring you back up to speed on the happenings in my imaginary bike world.

I am now, of course, the Cat 3 Lycra Monarch of the Garden State, and my first few weeks of throne squatting have been quiet, as this is the off season. I am hoping that increased activity in the coming spring will add to the Royal Treasury. I have heard tales of this racing they call "cross" happening in the outer reaches of the kingdom, but this matters not to me, and it sounds very unpleasant to race while cross anyway.

I also paused for a day to observe a day for the giving of thanks, and I gave many thanks. Thankgiving is one of my favorite holidays, as there’s no gifts to purchase, and after observing feelings of gratitude, you delve right into gluttony. This is a wonderful concept, and I strenuously avoid allowing my "bike-polar" leanings ruining it. I do not deny myself anything. I eat pies of all flavors and varieties. I ladle gravy generously. I stuff with stuffing, and I bury myself with cranberries. This is why I ride a bicycle. To develop the metabolism capable of withstanding such self inflicted assaults on my digestive system.

And it’s not like all the food that is served is even that bad for you. In fact, compared to the normal American diet of sawdust and ground newspaper particles, it’s quite healthy. I mean, there’s a good chance that you might ingest come vegetables in the course of a Thanksgiving meal, even if they are covered in marshmallows.

Now would be the time where most people would find a way to humble brag (I call this "doosh-bragging") about how they managed to actually lose weight over the holiday, but I am most assuredly not "most people". I am here to state unequivocally that I did indeed lose weight durng the Thanksgiving trough feeding cycle. Note, that is a direct brag, there’s nothing humble about it. I am awesome.

I managed this feat by grinding my way to madness in my basement perched atop my Lemond trainer (in answer to the inevitable "how do you like that trainer?" questions, here is my pre-reply: I love it, it’s very noisy and it creates a mighty wind). It was here that I managed one of my greatest accomplishments as a pretend bike racer. I made it to the end of Breaking Bad with no spoilers. Again, I will not underplay this achievement. It took massive amounts of willpower and stamina to not find out what happened accidentally, and that was compounded by the fact that I had three season to catch up on. Not to sound conceited, but this is one that could go down in the history books. It would take a complete viewing of Game of Thrones while logged on to Reddit to surpass this triumph.

Roman’s Beer Corner

Since Roman has not delivered any beer to anyone, it is with a sad heart that I suspend any further contests and take delivery of all the unclaimed prizes. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. I didn’t plan things to happen this way. Honest. This week’s beer recommendation is the Good Gourd Imperial Pumpkin Ale from Cigar City Brewing. If you must pumpkin, this is the way to go.

 

 

15 Comments

Leo Nipple

“its very noisy and creates a lot of wind.” You love it because it is your kindred spirit in roller form.

Paul and George

I have spoken to many of you about LG Electronics’ proposal to enlarge its office building at the corner of Rt. 9G and Sage Road, just above the Pallisades Park and what we call River Road. The LG site is in a view shed, visible from the east bank of the Hudson and the GW Bridge, that has been protected for the past 100 years. Until LG persuaded the Englewood Cliffs town fathers to grant them a construction variance and then to change the zoning rules, 35 feet was the maximum height a structure could be built. That’s why the buildings on 9W along the Pallisades Park are so low. Next time you ride across the bridge, look south, and then look north and you’ll see what I mean. The new rules permit a height of 143 feet, well above Pallisides Park’s tree line. While LG has enough property to expand and stay within the old 35 foot limit, the other commercial buildings along that strip don’t. Objections to the new rules are therefore for both aesthetic and safety reasons. You can imagine the additional traffic that would accompany construction of a series of 10+ story buildings along 9W.

Protect the Palisades is a coalition of individuals and organizations in New Jersey, New York and across America, dedicated to preserving the Hudson River Palisades. The coalition’s Steering Committee includes a number of prestigious environmental organizations, including Natural Resources Defense Council and Scenic Hudson, which have challenged the zoning change in court. The supporting list of not-for-profit Coalition Members is long and impressive. I am asking you to sign on as individual Coalition Members. This is not an appeal for money, just your name on a growing list of people who favor protecting this particular, unique scenic and historic resource. The louder the voice in opposition, the greater the chance of it being heard.

9W is the road most of us cycle on more than any other. We are the beneficiaries of the spectacular scenery along our route and we will be the losers if a precedent is set, tall office buildings are constructed on 9W, and there is a substantial increase in traffic. The sign-up is simple. The story is interesting. Here’s the link: http://www.protectthepalisades.org/join.

Thanks.

P.S. Our list is limited. If you are on a team or in a cycling club and think your fellow members and friends would be interested in this issue, please ask them to join the coalition.

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