Yesterday’s stage was the beginning of the non-crash related shake ups of the GC for this Tour. Cadel Evans and Alberto Contador showed that they are feeling confident and were able to attack and descend (I can’t believe I’m typing that about Cadel) and gain time on the Schlecks and Ivan Basso. And since I have little or no life, I decided to review the video of the last 15k of the stage to see what went down. Because this is so far the most interesting thing that has happened at the Tour.

Basically, with 15k to go. Alberto started things off, he was brought back by Fabian Cancellara (!) with the Schlecks, Cadel and Voeckler in tow. Andy put in a baby attack and went to the front and made a whiney "c’mon guys, rotate!" hand motion. No one did. The pack catches them.

Alberto’s teammate Hernandez (note Alberto has teammates around him now) goes to the front and puts in an effort, Andy is still right there. There’s a few go nowhere attacks (Tom Danielson), and eventually Alberto tires of this and attacks—this time with Voeckler attached to him like they’re slow dancing at the junior prom.

Andy makes it up to them, Cadel has to close the gap himself, and he brings Frank and Sanchez with him. Bert wags his elbow at Voeckler, Voeckler reminds him that he’s not insane.

11.4k to go, Cadel finally makes it to Alberto, who is looking good—Andy and Voeckler are not. Sanchez sneaks up to Bert and Cadel. The three of them get about 250 meters.

10.8k to go, Cadel goes to the front and starts pulling, give a hopeful elbow to Contador, who is not interested. Behind, it’s Frank doing all the chase work, Andy is at the back of the group of about ten riders, whimpering I assume.

9k to go, Cadel still working diligently, when Contador jumps him from behind. Cadel shuts down the move and probably queries, "wtf?" Cadel and Alberto sort out their differences and work together for the rest of the climb, Sanchez sitting in, praying…

Meanwhile Frank is doing all of the chase work with Andy and Voeckler sitting in. Andy is at the back of the chase.

They hit the summit, Cadel eventually gaps Alberto on the drop, but Contador and Sanchez Spanish their way back to only lose about five seconds at the end. At about 5k to go, you can see the exact moment when Andy loses his nerve. Voeckler is descending like a mad man at the front and splitting the race apart, and had the race not had the flat stretch at the end, Voeckler would’ve put time into Frank also.

Plainly put, Voeckler’s descending pace scared Andy, and he got gapped and lost 1:09. Here’s what Andy had to say about the stage (via cyclingnews):

"I’m really disappointed. Is this what people really want to see?" he asked.

"I think the parcours was badly chosen today. We don’t want to see riders crashing, riders taking risks. Everyone has got a family at home. A finish like this should not be allowed.
"I didn’t feel super when he attacked and I did a bad downhill. Someone in front of me slid out on the first corner and so I had to clip out of the pedal. There was a gap of 150 metres and I couldn’t close it to the bottom."

In a year where Wouter Weylandt died in a race, rider safety is a big concern, but I would disagree that the parcours was exceptionally dangerous (can it, Beloki). Plus the Tour organizers, unlike an NFL cornerback, cannot make it rain. That was just weather. If you want to win the Tour, you have to be able to handle weather and going downhill. They don’t offer an option to go down the hills on a chairlift. Voeckler was being very crafty when he decided to use his descending skills advantage to take time out of the Schlecks.

Today’s stage should be another interesting one, with the Sestriere and it’s big old descent near the middle of the stage, and with the final ascent leading to a (gasp!) twisty downhill finish. Schelck’s beware!

I tune in and unfortunately miss all the early attacks to set up the break. There’s a group of 10-15 away, with Chavanel, Casar (do he and Roy take turns getting into desperate breakaways?) and Boasson Hagen there.

97k to go, Casar takes the sprint for the intermediate points, eliminating the need for FDJ to ebay their used bib shorts this year.

93k to go, with Casar and Chavanel in the break, it seems like the French are racing every stage like it’s Bastille Day. I loves me some Chav.

It’s hard to believe that Boass Hoag is back in the break again today. When will the Norwegian domination of this Tour end?

85k to go, they are on the Cat 3 climb, but not much is going on.

81k to go, Roche, Hoogerland and a Quick Step rider jump from the pack. Hoogie time!

73k to go, here comes the descent, Andy asks for Fabs to spoon him down the hill.

The break has 6:32, most of that time will evaporate like the buckets of sweat on Bert Grabsch’s crack by the end of the day.

71k to go, Europcar is at the front on the descent, Andy radios back for his blankie.

Roche, Hoogie and de Weert have about a minute on the pack.

68k to go, every time they show the back of the pack, we get a shot of Thor’s SMASH backside.

The NBC internet video WHICH I PAID FOR, is intolerably bad, so I have to watch on live TV on VS. I am forced to watch commercials with Levi in them, is this worse than being forced to do gymnastics into a barbed wire fence?

65k to go, if Bert wants to win this year, he’s going to have to attack today (and tomorrow)—and shake Cadel at some point.

Roche, Hoogie and de Weert are making their way to the break, that will be fun.

Wow, they SHOVE ads into the VS coverage.

83k to go, Perez attacks at the front, not one reacts because he’s RUBEN PEREZ.

Perez gets the mountain points and begins the descent. They show the Garvelo team car and JV tells Johan if Roche gets to the break they will chase. The big take away there is that JV TALKS TO JOHAN! Johan radios back and gives JV directions that will send his team car off the edge of Sestriere.

Here comes the descent! It will be tough but I will be looking for poop stains on the back of Andy’s black shorts.

We go to the Garvelo car, JV screaming as the team car does a "Thelma and Louise".

The Levi commercials make me miss the DR Chipper.

42k to go, where’s the Andy Schleck "fraidy cam"? Time to sober up French TV!

Dear God, does the Map My Ride spot show Levi emailing Allen Lim? Is that going to be admissible in court?

They show Phil and Paul’s commentary closet, it’s painted bright yellow to help prevent thought of suicide coloring their commentary.

Hoogie dropped on the descent, dammit! Phil says the computer has said Hoogie has rejoined, Phil says he’s not sure he believes that, because he’s never heard of a thing call a "computer".

Wow, you can compete against Levi in a Map My Ride challenge, I challenge him to a game of basketball.

Perez has about 2:22, he could, in theory pull this off. I could in theory grow another nipple.

Phil names the wrong Roche, DRINK!

117k to go, SHOW THE RACE VS! Bob Roll’s "anaylsis" is not worth "throwing" to!

15k to go, and now we start the race.

Perez begins the climb, his demise…

Wow, VS, just showed a set of commercials and then shot to the race for 30 seconds before going back to commercial WHILE THEY HIT THE CLIMB! I have run out of middle fingers to express myself here.

Chavanel has attacked but I wouldn’t know, because VS IS A PIECE OF EXCREMENT!!

11k to go, Chav gets to Perez and drops him, swoon!

The Hoag attacks Chav, holy crap!

Liquigas hits the front, remember them?

Chav jumps again to catch the Hoag and end the Norwegian dominance.

9.6k to go, Bert needs to think about jumping soon.

This road isn’t so much as "road" as it is a "paved path". And that path leads Andy to Fraidy Town.

Bert goes! Andy covers, Voeckler makes it also. CHECK YOUR CHAIN ANDY!

Bert’s attack is brought back. Andy moves to the front, and Bert counters. They stay together. Frank moves up, it’s a Schleck sandwich! Um, and Bert’s the meat…

Hivert hits the soft dirt. A gnome has a hold of his wheel and won’t let go.

The Hoag is dropping well.

With the backlighting you can only just make out the fear in Andy’s face.

Hivert parks it in someone’s driveway, time to shut it down fella.

2k to go, Voeckler goes to the front to gain time, Sanchez joins him, good times! Bert is at the front chasing behind. Bert has a gap to the racers behind.

The Hoag wins it! Go Norway!

We need an Andy poop check here.

Voeckler hits the same driveway as Hivert! That guy is never going to wash that driveway.

Conti and teammate Sanchez working well together. Gaining time.

There’s no way Andy doesn’t "park it" right?

Bert is taking time wherever he can, I expect a sign in table attack tomorrow.

The Schlecks catch Berto and Sanchez, out descend Voeckler, cat voted president of dog town.