Tour Duh France

Prologue

I’m here, I’m queer let’s watch a bike race.

Very happy I spent 30 bucks this morning on something that’s not working.

I think we are all screwed live coverage has been pushed back till noon easstern time for the world cup.

schmalz , I have one thing to say to you and any tt riders out there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEhI7EfGPNc

I like how LA says "I’m going to bite my tounge on that" If you say that into a camera, do you didn’t bite your tounge.

I found a photo of balan before racing.

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071121062327/muppet/images/5/50/Janice-MuppetsTV.png

I feel like a 007 villian is doing the voice over for the intro.

It’s also safe to say they can’t get a job doing anything else.

When I was on slipstream with allen, I like to introduce him like this. "Allen in a doctor, but not the kind that can help you"

Holland is also knows for dams, red lights and smoke.

Did phil just say he’s trying to get his money back?

Maybe it’s lack of motivation.

"speaking of anger" ewww

Nice attempt at humor there paul

Floyds camp’s new theme song    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAFAcpuXbwE

Mr pate is not at the tour this year. He’s consoling himself with mtbing and beer drinking. And getting paid for it. poor bastard.

The world cup is not only ruining the tour, it’s also messing with twitter.

who wants to kiss that guy?

I see body gaurds

I don’t see anyone beeting Tony martin today. Unless Fabs can use his motor bike (I KID, I KID)

Grown men look Jens as if he was a teenage girl. "oh is she great? she’s so smart and outgoing! I bet she’s great to hang out with"

BLOW THE BRIDGE!

Can’t tell if Jens is taking it easy or its just really bad out there.

 yeah, I think the course is fucked

cycling isn’t that funny

Toto and dave mc’ cook. They didn’t like each other that much.Which is funny because I don’t think anyone like the 2 of them. So basically the 2 most unliked guys in the pack really hated each other. And they would meet every year at the philly week races. IToto had a habit of racing with his helmet chin strap, behind his neck.  Mc’cook cracked one day and took toto’s helmet off at tossed it to the side of the road during the race. Toto had to stop in the middle of the race and pick up his helmet. But the next day toto saw dave and they had a little east side story fight on the bike path. But in this east side story, both teams lets them fight because we were sick of both of them.

 Glad I paid 30 bucks so I dont have to watch commericals like the rest of you savages

I love when they run out of shit to say

boom boom pow

Lance is warming up, in his ipod? "wsj  podcast and floyd voicemails"

tony martin still way out front. Gerriant thomas in second. Cav on the road.

levy is in 3rd.

Tyler f put himself in a great position to get yellow.

Millar has a really cool wind trainer.

schmalz man crush is on the road. With a strange skinsuit.

Millar is taking risk on the turns

Dear specialized, we need you to spend cold hard cash to get the bike more aero. But dont worry I’m still going to race with my chain hanging out. Thanks, F schleck

Dave millar, only 3 sec down at the half way check

Love how cav made sure to show everyone he wasnt trying. Cyclist are not actors. Yeah dude we get it, you didn’t try.

Gesink has to be the skinniest robert ever. I don’t know a skinny robert.

Martin stays alive.

Andy has is helmet on while ridding the trainer. That last crash really spooked him.

I should go to vegas. oh wait, no.

man is the boat? no bear in the boat

skinny robert in 37th place

carlos is not going fast.

roman killun is now ridding for liquigas

Set the race on fire? kinda harsh eh paul?

janez looks like he’s going to pass out

monfort? whats a but phore?

I hope schancez dosent fall. He would get dirty. He would be a…

I liked cadel. He seems like he would be the frind that blows up and knifes a drifter. Which is always a blast.

Sammy better not fall either,,,remember that old gag?

the course is drying up.

lance pants is on his way to the start

flecha is taking time off from being a starship trooper to race today

solid ride for cadel, no dog punting for him today

Ablert is off

Fabs is racing to beat the schlecks or as he calls them "the new bosses"

wow, phil "YESSS!!!"

best time for fabs at half way

tony looks like he’s about to cry

fuck these guys are going fast

phil has the vapors

X ray!! I saw him push a button!

thats all the guys in, Fabs rules. Lance is best of all the GC favorites. Which to be honest is a suprise and isn’t all at the same time. Thats right fols, I play both sides of this fence. If you have questions for me twatter my twipper at twitter.com/michael_creed

68 Comments

schmalz

OK, Creed, if you are indeed out there, since you are a time trialer of some reputation, how would you approach this prologue course?

schmalz

That Ballan swipe is just mean, maybe you can send us all a pic of the saddle you use on your TT bike? Isn’t it made from hemp?

schmalz

Have Phil and Paul ever annouced a race you were in Mike? And if so, did they call you “Mark”?

Michael_Creed

I went to the doctors the other day and they took blood. They called back to say I tested positive for a really bad case of the phuckits. Worst case they’ve ever seen.

Jordan Plug

………so your wife and life are imaginary- do u have any desire to make either of them reality?

schmalz

I have no video access here, so you are my only source of information, subsequentially, I have no idea what’s happening.

Michael_Creed

You acting as if there is a difference between the two. Maybe what you consider reality is really your dreams….see the extra periods for effect?……..

schmalz

Look at all the German emotion on Tomy Martin’s face, it goes from “almost non-plussed” to “almost smiling”.

Michael_Creed

Yeah I don’t see millar getting another shot but who knows. JV sounds like a D&D kid missing his dice.

schmalz

Are we allowed to say Gesink looks like a taller Razzy? I hope for comedy’s sake, he TTs like him also.

Michael_Creed

dude cycling is boring. And it dosent help that it seems like they only have 3 cameras

Ethan Stiff

Wow, Slow time for Blandy Schleck. And you thought Voeckler was stomping grapes full of slow. What was Baby Schleck doing?

schmalz

Creed, if you visit a brothel in Amsterdam this weekend they’re giving away free Luxembourgian citizenships.

Eric Faber

Fucking hilarious today!

“Who taped that girl to Martin?”
“Janez Schleck cook-off”
Lux. TT Champ = Frank was hungover.

Schmalz killin’ it today like Christophe Moreau’s will to make top 10 forever!

L. Blankfein

Could be the winning edge for Cat. 4 racers in Central Park as it contains ephedrine and kept Cervelo’s Hemorrhoid stricken Xavier Florencio from starting.

Kylian Bartape

COTD: “Voeckler pedals that TT bike like he’s stomping grapes made of slow.”

Superb!

Raphael Axle

Paul: “Kloden is turning the pedals over at 103 revolutions per minute.”

Phil: “Amazing!”

late catchup

or is Phil downright grumpy today? the weather, the traffic, more about the weather….

Arne Rim

“JV sounds like a D&D kid missing his dice.” made me chuckle hard.

Please continue this commentary during the Tour coverage.

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