Bicycle Races Are Coming Your Way

• O’ Bacon, Where art thou?

  2/15/2009

  One of my new year’s resolutions was to make sure I blog more- you’d think i wouldn’t have a problem talking about myself for hours on end (ask any of my friends). But considering that my first blog of 2009 comes to you in mid February speaks volumes about how good i am at keeping resolutions…

  I hadn’t really taken the time to reflect on the end of 2008. To say the least, it was a blast. Somehow we banded together and put on an awesome race that made NYCX’ers proud. not even DFLing and getting hypothermia could quell the awesome time i had putting that race on.

  And here we are, firmly entrenched in 2009. I have to admit, I’m pumped. We put together an awesome new team full of awesome guys that know how to race well and have fun, We’re training with a dreamy Finnish coach who happens to be this year’s National Masters CX Champ, our kits are fabulous, and there’s tons of awesome races to get ready for!

  I’ve also been dealing with the double-sided sword that is fame. ever since i was featured on the back page of a certain cycling publication this month…

  

  Don’t worry- being a fat kid in grammar school more than prepared my for the amount of anonymous hate and mockery this photo is going to get me. And while you people may THINK its fun to get accosted by attractive females every time i leave the G-damn house, it actually gets kind of old… wait, no it doesn’t…

  Now i know what you’re dying to ask: How is the most famous mediocre cat 4 in the country going to train for a grueling season of “holja line” park races as well as hilly out of town races that he’ll probably get dropped on?

  Aside from a few rocky-style training montages, I’ve been hitting the trainer and the gym quite a bit when it’s been below freezing. as riding the trainer is a miserable, lonely affair, I’ve been inviting friends over for “trainer dates,” also known as “indoor trainer gang bangs.” Everyone’s favorite cat 3 sandbagger Colin Prensky joined me a few times, which i guess mean’s we’re going steady (he likes to spoon afterward)

  

  Also, after suffering through 10 months of a baconless existence last year, I’ve decided that i will ESPECIALLY eat bacon this year! i just found out that bacon has Omega 6’s in it- those are twice as good as omega 3’s right?! they should invent more things that are delicious AND good for you.

  

  The next few weeks are going to be full of training, and my first big race, the Rouge Roubaix, is only 21 days away. I did this 100 mile bastard of a race last year. Think Battenkill x 2, with rougher roads and shorter, steeper climbs, and then put the entire thing on in the middle of deliverance country in Louisiana and Mississippi. you get the idea. It’s an insanely epic race that’s laughably early in the season. It’s also one of the best races I’ve competed in. Last year i came in 20th, including a flat tire and a pee break (i have the bladder of a 4 year old). This year, I’m racing with a vengeance. Roubaix tires have been purchased, and I have no qualms about going boom-boom or wee-wee in my bibs this time (bike shorts are pretty much just spandex diapers anyway, right?)

  

  in order to get ready for the upcoming season, and to get out of the city, I’m flying out to Tucson, AZ to take part in our coach’s training camp. i’ll be out there riding for 5 days, up and down Mount Lemmon, crying and whining about how much i hate hills. hopefully this will transform my racing form from mediocre to a little better than mediocre. we’re staying in a huge mansion in Tucson that Roger rented, complete with pool, hot tub, and sauna. Bonus- Apparently this house has also been used to film some movies that I’ve probably already seen on redtube, so you know it’s got character! I’m just going to have to check the room with a blacklight before i go to sleep…

  

  Tomorrow morning I’m celebrating president’s day by making my way to Westwood Velo at the buttcrack of dawn to have a fitting session and Lactate Balance point test with Roger. Then it’ll be TOC time. Just you wait and see- Big George is going to win a stage this week, and then dedicate it to me, his biggest fanboy (stalker).

  photo by Ken Conley- kwc.org
  

  

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