I went back and checked the news for this time, but couldn’t figure out who this was about. Maybe Basso finally confessed?

A lot of the lines were takeoffs of direct quotes, but I can’t find the original quotes.

Some people think Cipo took HGH, and his forehead and jaw got bigger over the course of his career.

"I took a vow of sleevelessness" is one of my favorite Toto lines, along with "I have a naturally elevated hamatocrit".