Tour day Schmalz Stage 11

Section head text.

Preview Stage 6
Prologue through Stage 2 Stage 7
Stage 3 Stage 8
Stage 4 Stage 9
Stage 5 Stage 10

Stage 11

Today could be a sprinter’s day. Hopefully Thor SMASH is over his cold. Zabel and the Boner are close in the green jersey standings, while everyone else is way behind.

100k to go. They are showing Moreau, as he fell when he tangled with a teammate. Lovely, another thing for him to complain about.

Lots of little attacks right now, we’ll see if Boner’s boy can handle the surges.

Four guys off the front, Gilbert is there, hopefully Phil will have been told that he is Belgian, not French.

Millar trying to bridge, he’s wearing long sleeves as he is having an allergic reaction to sunlight. Vasseur wears long sleeves as he is allergic to taking wind at the front of the race.

Millar still trying to bridge. Boner trying to get his tips frosted.

Gary Player yesterday called for more drug testing in golf, as he knows personally of at least one player that takes steroids. They should also test for Metamucial. Thank you, thank you, try the beef!

An interview with George – who is no longer wearing Oakley Jackets. He has on some stars and stripes abomination on. Someone should tell George that he can say no to ugly crap from sponsors.

Millar catches the break.

I’m looking for quotes from Jens about yesterday’s stage, but I only saw a video interview on Velonews, where he seemed very classy and gracious. He basically said about Vasseur, “If you win, you’re always right.” Not everyone would be so gracious. I imagine that Pereiro would’ve sobbed and called Vasseur a “dirty meanie.”

79k to go. Now that Millar is up there, the break has a better chance of staying away. We also just increased our chances of seeing the latest in metrosexual fashions if Millar make the podium presentation.

I’m still perplexed by VS decision to try and market the Tour like they do with the cage fighting. They do realize there’s Frenchmen involved?

Perhaps, Mr. Announcer voice will make a comeback?

“Sobbing their way through smelly French industrial cities – the Tour on VS.”

72K to go, the break has 7 minutes.

Astana gunning it in the cross wind, trying to make a split. Vino working for Kloden – that’s very hard to type.

OK, this morning I missed the footage of Moreau chasing back after the crash. I was probably pooping or *ugh* working. I had no idea that Moreau had crashed. Astana punching it after he went down was kinda dicky. Does that mean that’ll I’ll give Moreau a break? No, not really. It is Moreau, after all. I am such a reporter!

I’m sure Razzy will do very well in a crosswind. Boogerd goes to the team car to get lead to put in Razzy’s pockets.

Moreau gets caught behind. He’s grinding his way to tenth place!

We’ll see how much damage Astana’s move does. Moreau misting up at the back.

It’s really fun to see the hammer get dropped on a transition day. This would’ve never happened in the Lance era. Today we would’ve just seen Joachim at the front all day.

I must say it’s fun to see Moreau get dumped on a flat stage instead of in the mountains. It adds a little variety.

The Astana pack is gaining on the break. Moreau losing about 2 minutes right now, he will have to call to have the banners for his Tour finishing party changed from 6th to 10th, but his friends had 10th place printed anyway, you know, as a back-up.

It seems very weird that Phi and Paul weren’t discussing how Moreau got jumped while he was at the doctor’s car near the feed zone. This would seen to me like a pretty big detail, but I do sort of zone them out when I’m watching while I work – stupid work, spoiling my fun!

Astana TTT-ing away France’s hopes.

Astana might also be forcing Razzy to burn some matches today – something I’m sure he didn’t want to do before the TT on Saturday. He also doesn’t like Menchov to use the bathroom before he does.

Boner in the front group, as he knows how to ride in a crosswind. So we could have another Boner win, and Quick Step’s second in a row. I know which team will be having Daiquiris tonight!

“Watch Levi Leipheimer carry water bottles for a Spanish guy – the Tour on VS.”

11k to go. Moreau losing about 2 minutes. Can you imagine the interviews on French TV with Moreau after the stage? “Christophe, why do you hate France so?” I almost feel sorry for the guy.

Thor SMASH is in Moreau’s group – no way he gets to SMASH today.

5K to go. In theory, Freddie could win today. I smell a Boner win here. Insert obligatory “that sounds dirty” remark here.

VINO jumps!

Yaaaayyyyy!!! Go Vino go!

Quick Step chases – confirming they have no souls.

2K to go. Attacks and chases now.

Crash, someone just ran into the barriers.

Liquigas leading, Boner caught behind. He might have crashed.

Hunter could win! He does!

Two wins for Barloworld! Hunter can now put down a down payment on a Toyota Corolla.

We now wait for Moreau’s ride of shame as he crosses the line. France kicks herself again, an annual tradition.

So, it’s really not a ride of shame, but a kick to the groin from Astana. It means only one thing – Vino’s back, baby! He will attack on downhills, in the wind, uphill, at the sign in, on the podium, at the hotel, in the village while you get your faux hawk, in the potty, while you talk to your girl, while you talk to your guy, whenever he can!

41 Comments

Thor Will Indeed Smash (So it seems)

From Cyclingnews.com:

One rider who won’t be going for the win today is Tom Boonen (Quick.Step). The green jersey won’t start today’s stage as a result of injuries sustained in a crash on the descent from Courchevel yesterday. That means Thor Hushovd is the new leader of the green jersey competition.

sixpence

What he said: “If you try to win, you might lose. If you don’t try to win you will lose for sure.

Mini-Thor

Only two Norwegians in the Tour, and both of them now has a stage win.
I knew Arvesen was on form when he won the National Champs one week before the Tour. Only 8 of 148 riders finished the race. Halfway, with most of the field already dropped, KAA was asked how he was feeling, and he said he didn’t know because he hadn’t tested his legs yet.
Keep SMASHING!

Anonymous

Riccardo Ricco!! Dirtbag and Doper!!
Who’s next? How long before one of Vaughter’s boys get’s popped?

Plus ca change, plus ce la mem chose.

Justin

Wonder if OLN will still claim Bryneel is the best DS "bar none" now ?

19mph av. speed as well – adds credence to the theory that this is the cleanest Tour since…….pre-War years ?

Baldwin

Panic and paralyzed chaos and no decisive moves until the switchbacks with less than 10k to go. Boogerd suffered the most of anybody, and his recovery is guaranteed because of the calcium deposits in his teeth. Leipheimer made a funny face at the finish line, as if he were recalculating his endorsement value out loud.

Anonymous

post puerto – about half the field had a bad day. 10+ mins back: cunego, razzy, VDV, 20+ mins back: hincapie, salvodelli, moncoutie, pereiro, garzelli, martinez, 30 + mins back – chavanel, gonchar, 40+ mins back: popo, rujano, briskie, chechu, horner

did they all eat the same bad fish?

lee3

They all slept with the ac blasting the night before!

Boy…the Hincapie campaign sure did go down the pooper pretty quick. This is what happens to a guy that rides the wheel of a climber all day on the toughest mtn stage in the 05′ tour and then snatches the victory with a clean conscience – all of a sudden he’s a climber …yea right!
Levi will have to have a few more days of days like this to get back in this thing. I wont scratch’em off the list just yet. There’s still a little fight in the dog.

lee3

Big brewhaahaa stirring up over race radios. I for one am all for keeping them for all team members. Riders still react to breaks forming without radio assistance. The instincts are still there. I’d rather see radios as opposed to 4 to 5 team cars trying to get to the front to help thier respected riders with ill regard to spectator or rider safety. Hey I think we’ve got ourselves an NYVC poll on our hands.

schmalz

I would dispose of the radios altogether, but I think the one radio per team is a good compromise. This talk of safety is a load of bunk to a great degree, the DSs come barging up in their cars anyway. Did we forget the Davitamon DS knocking Basque spectators out of the way with his car last year?

The problem is the radios make for boring racing that takes the initiative away from the racers. It kills breakaways. Plus, the directors conspire together via cellphone. Everyone knows the racers are supposed to offer the cash!

lee3

The blackboard moto gives time splits so how does it kill break-aways? The field can still time the catch in the same way without radios. Knowing who’s in the break would be no secret either. What about crashes or flat tire needs? Things would be much smoother in that regard with free flowing info. If one has a strong team or if all the teams are strong, radios dont hinder performance and shouldnt be a big deal. DS types can still control the races and strike deals radios or not, no?

dr fuentes

two things: if floyd wins it will be the greatest achievement in any sport. a hip replacement due in two weeks and a team so bad I may be offered a contract. merckx was at 4:45 but not involved when needed, the entire rest of the team was over 26 minutes back. that’s championship material.

finally the hincapie bullshit can be put to rest. look, he never won shit when he was a sprinter. as a routier he won a semi-classic. somehow he is supposed to be a tour rider without having won any stage race (3 days of de panne does not count). I cannot believe boonen hasn’t laughed out loud when people ask him if he wants to morph himself like hincapie. great rider, no doubt, but lets be real about it – his achievements rank him in about the 30th percentile of pro racers in history, being generous. I like him and hope he wins some big races, but he is not a tour winner and never looked like one at any time.

schmalz

Lee3 – check for gas leaks in your room. In a breakaway situation every moment is precious. The time it takes for Race radio to get the split to the chalk guy and then to the riders could be minutes. Time for the break to get away or stay away. Also, guys lose track of each other all the time – there’s 180 or so guys in the race, radios just keep the un-vigilant in the race when they should be getting dropped.

The problem is that DSs get their calculators out and gently murmur to the riders exactly how many KPH it’ll take to catch the break, when it should be the rider’s duty to do this. Plus, the agreements to chase together are made by the directors now. Who do you want controlling the race? The racers or the tubby fellow in the team car? I want intelligence and race savvy to be a part of a Tour winner’s make up, instead of the ability to say "ok" to race director’s orders.

As far as crashes and flats go, if it’s the race leader, wouldn’t his guys be around him anyway? If it’s a support rider, it’s not like they would get any help anyway.

The radios are choking the initiative out of races and racers – period. Jacky Durand practically fumes when he hears about them. Do you remember him? Was he not one of the more entertaining members of the peloton? He wouldn’t stand a chance today.

lee3

Ok so you give one guy from each team a wire as you’ve suggested that you could live with. The tour still has the live video tap within the every team car upon which vital info is being shared by all. Do they ban this as well? Info that could be sent to the lone holder of the rider with a wire. You mind as well give’em all wires. If you dont have the legs you dont have the legs. Lone breakaways still happen. Having the instinct to know which stage lends itself to that condition has nothing to do with radios and there are certain conditions that make moves stick. Look at all of the successful lone breaks within the last 5 years and see what they have in common. There is a common factor.
These guys do a lot more thinking than you give them credit for. The directors definitely make the deals on working together and such but a lot of that deal striking goes down on the road with the racers as well ie friendships or favors from past races or whatever. There will come a day when GPS will make its way onto every bike (that new garmin) showing the time and position of the yellow jersey or any rider relevant to anothers position on GC just a button push away!

schmalz

GPS on every bike! Let’s make the entre thing into just a quasi-team TT! Maybe even little screens that show where everybody is on the course for every rider. So they can go faster or slower accordingly. No chances for any sneak attacks or anything.

Zzzzzzzz…. Without the chaos of not knowing who is away and by how much, these races will be dead boring, with no one taking chances.

I would say in the last 5 years the amount of lone breaks are waaaaaay down. Especially in the first week – where they have practically disappeared. Think of the classic stages of the past: Ciapucchi’s attack that nearly stole the race, even Pantani’s swipe at Armstrong. Those were not radio inspired. For the record I am also against the DH, I would like quarterbacks to call their own plays, and Van Halen should be forced to perform with David Lee Roth, I don’t care how big a dick he is…

adm

Schmaltz – – your writing is the only thing entertaining about this year’s race. Don’t stop. Please.

K King - VB

Love this quote after stage 11

Gert Steegmans (Davitamon, 160th at 44’20)

"I’m completely f***ed up. Even the speed of the bus was almost too fast for me."

Faber

Now playing on cable at the Luchon Days Inn – "The Last Days of Disco"

What are the chances Lance shows up to help cheer on the team in the Alps – Zero unless he pulls a Steinbrenner and yanks Johan.

Lastly – Where can I go to get a bitchin’ dead hip?

Baldwin

Boonen was complaining about the length and severity of the stages, saying that it makes doping an attractive remedy. And Voeckler said something like "I would have finished in the lead group instead of 33 minutes back if I hadn’t attacked like a complete glory-hog on the first Col and just stayed in the wheels. But it felt good to relive my two-years gone glory in the Pyrenees." I think he might have the same performance incentives in his endorsement contract as Leipheimer.

Chris M

I heard conflicting reports on where Moreau was when Astana jumped. At one point I heard he was “visiting the medical car” and at another point they said he had returned to the field, but was clearly on the back. I didnt see any actual footage of him returning to the field, but he was clearly riding with a back group when the split ocurred, or at least immediately after. Not sure, but sounds like they certainly jumped with him on back. I gather they jumped when he was nearly through the cars, likely with a nicely timed radio call from the Astana team car to point out that fact…VERY smart racing, to take advantage of the crosswind at such a perfect time, but also a great case against radios for the purists. Frankly not sure where I stand on this…

Captain Ed

Maybe Vino felt they beat up on him a bit after his crash and subsequent injuries, time to exact a pound of flesh and put some time on a rival. Not sure how smart it was, I’m thinking that maybe Kloden should be saving it for the time trial where he has a real opportunity to crush Razzy.

Anonymous

I was in Italy this past week riding around. Met a owner of a local bike shop who was a local pro/champion.

I was asking him of his opinion about various riders and the doping matters…as I went down the list of suspects and idol riders, I asked him “How about Tom Boonen, what do you think?”…He smiled, proceeded to gesture pumping a gloor pump, shook his head and said “ah, (he is a)POMPA!”(like he pumps dope-in)…From now on, I am going to call him “Pompa” not “Boner”

Anonymous

Astana jumped as they turned and the wind changed. That is when to do it. That Moreau was at the back probably had little to do with the timing. Once they realized they dropped him, then continue on. But, make no mistake, Vino is doping.

Anonymous

No schmalz snark about the “Bob Roll as a young bike-throwing punk” footage? That was awesome!

schmalz

Might’ve missed that – was it on the “Enhanced coverage”? I don’t watch the enhanced coverage

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