Tour day schmalz stage 14

Section head text.

Stage 14

Tour day schmalz index here

Well, Phonak gave the jersey away to ex-teammate Pereiro. Sending the message, “We’re timid little kitties – toy with us.”

Breakaway day today, can I get a little Flecha? Any Flecha? Freire owes him.

Alpe d’ Heuz spot. I space on it. 21 turns – really hard. There you go.

I love Pereiro – he’s always good for an opinion. I remember his complaining about George sitting in and sprinting last year on stage 16, and then the next day he did the same thing. He wasn’t trying to sit in on the sprint yesterday or anything.

We’re in live. TOTO IS IN THE BREAK! THE GUNS ARE OUT! YEEEESSS!

Toto gets the max climbers points. Someone will be treating himself to a new earring!

Break has 4 minutes or so, will there be enough guys to drag Commesso to the line? Notice how Toto turns his sleeves in to show the guns – skillz.

Watch carefully how Toto works just enough to convince the others he’s working, he’s a master!

Cat 2 climb coming up. This is where Toto will shine. Toto gets a speed bottle. He’s a master I tell you.

This break is a true rogue’s gallery. Kessler is the best in the break I think. But he’s never had to contend with Toto before. 1K until Toto starts asking guys to pull through.

Verbrugghe is up there also, he can pull when he has to.

Caisse d’Epargne chasing but c’mon, seriously…

Flecha getting bottles, almost to hard to see him without Commesso. Like a mime without white gloves.

Commesso is down by 47 minutes on the GC, how can that be?

As much as I love the gun show, I have to fast forward to 40K to go. Toto radios for ham.

Kessler doing 30% of the work, Commesso doing 24% – nice – reel them in Toto…

1K to the top – Commesso dropping a little, if he wants to complete that set of earrings, he’ll need some climb cash at the top.

Descent time. Commesso will shine here…

Commesso skips a pull; he turns to Kessler and asks for a push.

Caisse d’Epargne chasing with the same passion Michael Jackson showed when he made out with Lisa Marie Presley.

Floyd interview, “My team stinks, I’ll wait for the mountains.”

Crash in the break, that looks awful for Kessler. Canada grabs his collarbone, Verbrugghe over the guardrail also. Looks like a gravel patch did it.

Verbrugghe in the weeds, with photogs snapping away – um, a little help here?

Commesso survives. 3:30-ish to the break – Toto loses his tow.

Kessler back on the bike with gravel stuck in his helmet vents. Feces in his shorts.

Commesso is screwed; it usually takes at least four guys to tow him to the line.

Fedrigo now doing most of the work. I would expect Commesso to start gesturing at 15K to go. Verbrugghe is out.

2K to go :58, they may still get it. Toto pulling on the downhills.

Toto gets the green points, he needs a pinky ring, too.

16K to go, the break looks absolutely awful. Commesso radios for Flecha to come up.

Kessler limping in.

Fedrigo chats with Commesso, “Quit grabbing my pocket.”

Here’s the hill. Commesso pedaling like a heavy set man doing the hustle at a wedding reception.

Classic Commesso shots – they show his win over Vino when he did a track stand to keep from pulling through. I am in heaven!

Boogerd at the front, he has a delicious bass for us!

Just Commesso and Fedrigo now, this is getting good.

Crash in the peloton. No big deal.

Razzy jumping behind.

10K to go, I can almost not stand it! I need to see a Commesso track stand! I gotta have more track stand!

Commesso climbing like he’s taking a sobriety test.

Boogerd jumping, dropping Uncle Rico.

45 seconds – I predict Toto will play cat and mouse and they get caught.

Nobody drops down a hill like Toto.

Graphic shows Toto doing most of the work – it that thing broken?

4K to go – don’t look back Toto! Disco pulling. If George gets 20 seconds at the finish he’ll move to 22nd!

3K to go, c’mon Toto! It looks bad.

Commesso talking to Fedrigo, saying he has some nice earrings to sell, if he’s interested. 2k to go.

14 seconds! Disco still chasing. Can George still sprint?

Toto sitting in – that’s right, play it cagey, Salvatore…

1K to go, Toto jumps and turns around. “I pulled for 20 meters, you’re turn!”

Toto on the front, the world has gone mad!

200 meters! JUMP TOTO! JUMP! NOOOOOOOOOO! Fedrigo gets it! Toto second! He’s was out-Commesso-ed! He’ll have to drown his sorrows in cheese tonight. VDV almost got then at the end. UGH!

18 Comments

lee3

I actually believe that Vino’s moves were team calculated. I think that it was T-mobile’s intention to shoot Vino up the road to set-up a three on one. When no one chased on his first attack Jan and Klodi simply turned up the juice to further force the selection. Vino, however, over played his hand when he bridged up after the big descent. He should have went into tempo with Klodi and Jan instead of attacking a descent recovered yellow jersey! Vino’s already won a stage, why is he not riding for the better team capt. who seems to be getting stronger everyday? Tomorrow Jan will attack hard and Guerini will be the surprise domestique.

gob

From cyclingnews.com

Commesso, who has been without a win since his victory in the Trofeo Matteotti in July 2002, was in tears at the finish, telling Italian television he over-geared himself in the sprint. But from his reaction, it was clear that desperation also got the better of him on this day.

"This wasn’t because of Fedrigo," said the 31 year-old when asked about the gesture of banging his fists against the bars. "It was just because of myself. I haven’t won any race for two years."

"Everyday I work for the others," continued Commesso, "and for the one time that it is my day, I’m only able to lose. What can I do to win? Kill my opponents?

Bill

Relive the Schmalz
Tour Rebroadcast Viewing Tonight!
Caffe Buon Gusto at 1009 Second Ave (Btw
53/54th St.) from 8:00 on.

Glen

Finally…our favorite wheelsucker in a break with guns a blazing, but where was Flecha? I’m guessing he started the break, but went back to the pack when he saw his chubby shadow. 6 more weeks of summer??? Brilliant commentary Schmaltz. Keep the laughs coming.

Ray Alba

4 AM. Hmm. Maybe I have a little Pro-tour blood in me after all. Or rather – Pro Suck. Thanks for the heads up.

Kalidurga

gotten that restraining order against you yet?

Love this: “Soler jumps, he rides his bike like he

Royale with Cheese

What was Soler thinking when he offered that water to Razzy/ My guess is “Hey I’m taking the chicken down today and you’ll need all the water I care to give you”. Don’t piss of “BIG BIRD”. More apropos don’t you think?

If looks could kill Valverde’s look should of destroyed that cameraman, driver and motorbike. Wow he was pissed!

Can’t wait for tomorrow!

evilwatersprite

In honor of everyone’s favorite TdF band’s reappearance, I think a song title contest is in order.

I’ll go first:
‘Inna-Godda-Da-Vino’

Comments are closed.