Stage 6

Tour day schmalz index here

Here’s some fun from the peloton:

Writing on www.sports1.de, Voigt described the scene this way: “Today the two were riding next to each other and all of a sudden, the Spaniard hits Beneteau full in the face! It was really loud, just like in a boxing match! Beneteau’s helmet and glasses practically flew off his head! He swerved, because of course he hadn’t been expecting anything like that.”

“Behind them everyone was shouting, ‘Hey, are you crazy? If you’re going to fight, go to the side of the road! Leave us out of your problems!’ Beneteau didn’t blink an eye but went directly to the commissaire. I think, that they will throw de la Fuente out of the race.”

How did Voigt keep from falling off of his bike laughing when he saw the slap fight between these two gnats?

Back up everybody, everyone will get a chance to be photographed with Stuey’s v-neck.

This in from the Ice Dancer’s Camp:

Gerolsteiner had its share of problems yesterday, starting with a bus that wouldn’t start. The battery “went on strike”, as Fabian Wegmann put it. And where do cyclists change their clothes when there is no bus or dressing room around? Well, right there, wherever they are. “So we had to change clothes right there on the street. That surprised some of the fans looking on!”, he wrote at www.fabianwegmann.de. “Most of the other riders didn’t make fun of us – they’ve probably all been in that situation before, too.”

So, pros changes in the street just like we do! Next thing you know they’ll be hopping off into the weeds at Central Park to drop a deuce. Of course, officially, that never happens. Some lucky fan might also have grabbed a special souvenir – a sweaty rhinestone-covered Gerolsteiner Blouse!

I get in late to the stage, 86k to go with 4:29 on the group: Magnus and a couple of token Frenchmen. I would love to see big Maggie win, but he is away with two Frenchmen…

I would place the catch at about 10k to go or so.

Another Lance spot. Does it make me a bad person if I don’t care about his fairly obvious, non-enlightening observations? I missed the Lemond “sour grapes” spot today. Let me guess – Hinault was a two-faced jerk to Lemond?

We need the TT tomorrow to eliminate these “Groundhog Day” stages. The peloton is averaging just over 29 mph. Ow!

Yesterday Steegmans thought the 500m to go sign was the 200m to go sign and took off, leaving Robbie in the wind too early. Talk about a pissed pimpernel!

OLN is set to become Versus (VS.). I have been avoiding this topic, as it just seems to annoy me. All I want is to watch some bike racing. I’m willing to put up with quite a bit: Saab words of the day, Bull Riding tie-ins, Bob Roll nude – you get the picture. But what drives me crazy is the non-live OLN coverage of the classics. I think they should just relinquish their hold on the non-Tour races. It’s not like they are really interested anyway. Cyclism indeed.

So, the stage has settled in to the race radio monotony of the current peloton. See what I mean about the race radios? The director’s are watching TV, they do the math and they tell the teams the gaps and then they just roll at the front at a certain speed. Zzzzzzzzz… Ban the radios! I want confusion and chaos! Let’s have a break get away for a change!

Tractor aerial art by the side of the road, Floyd can be heard muttering, “Tractor’s are for the weak.”

Programming question: is there a lot of cross-over between the billiards audience and the cycling audience? No? OK, can we just drop the charade that hyping the 8 ball championships will ever work during the Tour coverage? Otter shooting, yes – billiards – no.

31k to go. 1:30 to the pack, game over for the break.

10k to go, nothing has changed. It might be wet at the finish, which would bode well for the break. 26 seconds – probably not going to happen. Let’s begin the search for crashes. Will Mayo bite it again?

Little bit of moisture out there – ass over teakettle time!

Toto at the front, guns covered.

Let me just get this out of the way: Milram goes to the front to screw up the leadout.

Seems like we will have a crashy finish. Look for Spaniards flying everywhere.

Paul just popped off a Harry Potter reference, someone check his coffee mug.

Toto leading out. Um, Bennati – how do I say this – stinks? Wasted Commesso effort, he pulls over and asks for a stick of butter.

Dicey sprint. The Boner gest leaned on and has to hit the brakes. Thor SMASH! gets squirrelly on the left. Steegmans reads the signs correctly and gets the lead out right today. Happy pimpernel! Wine coolers for everybody tonight!