Stage 2
It seems like stage one’s sprint was a little like a cat 4 ending. Everybody thought they had a chance and they all took a shot. Even Voekeler was up there. Nice quote from De Jongh, “It’s their right to be there, but I don’t think Thomas Voeckler will ever win a bunch sprint.†France disagrees my friend!
More of Lemond’s story about Hinault trying to bone him. Seems like Greg holds a grudge…
Thor signing in SMASH! Poor fellow.
In the stage recap, Thor is fighting The Boner for the sprint bonuses. SMASH!
These guys have no chance in a break in this CB radio era of cycling. As an aside, does anyone else remember when trucking was cool? Smokey and the Bandit, Bj and the Bear, Sheriff Lobo? I remember them all. Seems you couldn’t turn the channel without some goober in a Kenworth solving crimes.
Schmalz finds wounded Thor at finish line, brings him back to his cabin in the woods. In scene 3 he’ll break his ankles.
So it’s my contention that all team directors must talk on the race radio in trucker-speak. You know, “breaker one-nine we got a bear in the air and a break on the road.†Can you imagine Johann Bruyneel spitting out those phrases in his Belgian accent? Can we get a live audio feed of that?
Ugh, I’m watching this stage live without Tivo, so these commercials are killing me. Especially the sailing spots with the STYX songs. I like a little STYX as much as the next guys – and by that I mean a little STYX.
Thor hanging in on the road SMASH! His French director tells him how to be tough, insert French are wimps joke here.
Thor at the doctor’s car. Here’s a quote, “The stitching is not hurting, I just came back to let you know there will be many men hurting after the SMASHING today!â€
Davitamon at the front, splitting the team’s objectives, I guess. It must be hard to choose between two miniature Australians.
Thor takes the bonus sprint over The Boner. SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! Nice run big man! Thor is virtual leader now. “The SMASHING has continued to the front, now I run over competition.â€
The Boner’s been going waaaay too early in the sprints. But he’s been a great lead out, so that’s nice.
The top sign you have tour fever: open sores on your mouth.
Someone has to tell OLN we can’t read the Ks to go numbers – it’s killing me. What’s worse – no info or info you can’t read or Bob Roll acting?
Brochard at the team car, the mullet surfaces!
Today’s secret word is “repetition.†As in endless.
The breakaway guys stumble over the climb sprint. Wegmann wins the third place points and keeps the polka dot jersey. You can feel the apathy!
Sprint coming up. Hmmmm, Should George contest the sprint? Two places left on the road. Boonen gets Thor at the line as they go side by side, UN-SMASH! Thor up by 4 seconds, SMASH! Stuey gets a sister kiss for third place – no green points for you!
Frankie spot at the finish, is he still allowed to talk to George?
20k to go, got to take a leak to be on my game for the finish. And that game is Chutes and Ladders.
Insert standard Floyd Landis resembling Kid Rock reference here.
Two hills before the finish, might disrupt the SMASHING!
Rabos at the front, good finish for Freire – I’m hoping Toto is marking Freire. Still no sight of the “guns.â€
Wegmann and two others roll off the front.
Uh oh, crash. Oh, nobody important – Saunier Duval guys.
Wegmann gets his points and saves the polka dot jersey. Caspar gets popped or maybe crashed, thanks for coming.
Wegmann could stay away, he’s a strong little bugger.
Do the enlarged prostate commercials seem a little um, strange, with all of these guys getting together, riding in convertibles, sharing feelings…?
C’mon Fabian! Those Polka Dots clash with his ice dancing bottom, but no one cares! Fabian looks really caught.
Toto near the front! It’s a Toto cameo! Finally!
Kessler gives himself a Giant wedgie on the descent.
Milram go to the front to screw up the lead out.
Slide out and a big old crash! Kessler could win.
Thor pulls a pedal! UN-SMASH! He’s too mighty for his equipment! He beats other men with one leg!
McEwen wins. Thor finishes third on one leg. He gets yellow, though. That’s a SMASH! right there.
We need a body count now for the crash. Floyd involved.
What, no ‘eating Crow’ jokes?
Trautwiig gets more abuse than he deserves. I’d rather listen to his professional if somewhat uninformed delivery over Bobke’s buffoonery anyday.
I think it would be cool to have someone like Greg LeMond in the commentator’s box, but since he is not a card carrying “Friend of Lance”, that will never happen.
Or Sean Kelly! He was great to listen to on Euro-sport. I dont know why cycling commentary is degrading into this – lets see how funny I can be while I comment on the latest stage results – posture.
Dan, have you downloaded "2006 ProCycling Manager" yet?
No I haven’t – what’s that like?
Thor like finish. Thor hurt arm. Thor make one leg, one arm finish for fun.
Dunno, hoping you would preview it.
Thor quote of the day:
"I feel good for a while and then I don’t feel so good,"
NY Times
Next stage breakaway OLN should play this one…
"Oh mama I’m in fear for life from the long-arm of the law. Hang man is comin’ down from the gallows and I don’t have very long ahhhhh!" Styxx – Renegade
Still trying to think up reasons for them to play "Come Sail away" and "Mr Roboto".
Jean-Marie LeBlanc=Boss Hogg
Lame, I thought it was a LeTour.fr download thing but you have to actually buy it. I thought there could be some laughs testing hypotheticals like an all-Scandinavia squad.
hmmm, the average speeds seem human so far
Schmalz, I’m surprised the "Flowmax" ad hasn’t yet crossed your radar.
So apparently Spring Lounge has no OLN…any other ideas?
boss hog the band or boss hog the character?
Is it bad form / taboo to point out all of Ligett’s mistakes?
"Boonen is nowhere to be found!" -> Boonen finishes second.
"It’s his fourth Tour de France and his first stage win!" -> About Kessler, who subsequently gets passed 200 meters from the line.
"He’s actually pounding his fist in triumph as he’s reclaimed the Yellow Jersey!" About Thor, who was actually pointing at McEwen in a fairly pissed-off manner.
By the way, anyone notice Robbie giving the "cool down" hand gesture right after the stage to someone off camera? Was that Thor coming over for a little retribution?
missed the Robbie hand gesture.
Anyone catch the T-Mo rider during Stg.3 doing a rolling potty break in Boogards backyard? – back to the camera’s front to the roadside folk!
Shame about Valverde. Mayo is looking sharp. F-Rod is out, Robbie’s gotta apply a bit more cloak and dagger to get to the front now.
Horner got beat-up a bit as well but he’s starting stg.4
I hope Stuey can saddle up as well. He didnt look good.
Schmalz, Thor didnt do to bad on the hills but I dont think Robbie will be denied the green.