tour day cali-schmalz stage 1

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Well, the first 9 minutes of my TIVO recording was devoted to the last 2:51 of Gonzaga beating Pepperdine by 10 points. That’s 9 less minutes for the ToC. In the ESPN2 food chain, college basketball trumps bike racing, but I could’ve told you that already. No one fills out brackets in an office pool for the Tour de France. Not like it’s been hard to pick the winners the last 7 years anyway. Even Joyce from accounts receivable could do that.

Seems like they’re playing their full musical intro, if they show the whole hour I’ll miss the end.

What sort of video landscapes will replace the French sunflower fields in California? Beaches? Strip malls?

Levi interview, “I won the Tour of Germany, you know. You may have never heard of me, but I’m good”

This presentation brought to you by Amgen, ADT and AEG, as our fundraisers never even had to get out of the “a”s in the telephone book – we’re that good.

At some point in every US cycling broadcast there’s the moment you realize how much explanation of basic cycling the producers of the program think you need. I’m not optimistic; this being an American broadcast, but it is on at 2am!! Who else but cycling addicts will be tuning in?

Jackson Stewart and a CA guy, Marino, are off the front, this desperate breakaway brought to you by Alcoa.

They have 3 minutes and are both pedaling by two lonely fellows up on top of a local hill, I hope they’re not snipers.

@##=#<4,r>@##=#OK, the Sierra Kodak bikes fade from red to yellow to lime green. If that isn’t fade abuse, I don’t know what is.

A roadside spectator has brought one of those green hands from the Tour, just to make the Euros feel at home by whacking them in the head with it.

Leaders pedaling…

I wonder if I’ll get the last 9 minutes of this race? TIVO can be a harsh mistress, and will cut the recording right off. Maybe I can guess the finish – um, a sprint. Won, of course, by Giberto Simoni.

We’ve seen a lot of the leaders. Do they only have one motorcycle?

Jackson is going to have to explain to Marino the concept of “finishing circuit” “No, it’s not over when we get to the finishing town – we have to do 13 laps.”

Still no shots of the peloton, maybe they have stripped nude in protest?

Haselbacher is here. Insert butt hanging out comment here.

OK, I guess the angel is Specialized’s answer to the Didi, the portly German devil – no one can replace a German with a borderline personality in my heart.

The riders have put their clothes back on and Moos is jumping.

Two Discos are off, and I can’t believe that I’ve come this far without mentioning Eki’s mullet – it rocks hard – so hard that it make me think he lost a bet.

McCartney and another Disco are off. McCartney is from Iowa, as am I, so I am required by state law to support him. GO JASON.

Baby Jaja is at the front in a now four-man group, ending the break. Iowa weeps into her cheese dip.

Voigt gets to the front because that’s what he does.

Break is caught and Gerolsteiner is at the front in their outfits for the long program.

Clif just made us sit through a painful, painful spot about air with two guys saying “stoked” a lot, and then showing a bunch of grass. Please, do not under any circumstances make Paul Sherwin act!

Colavita is at the front. Look ma! I’m on the deuce!

The camera operator with the seizure is back.

Gerolsteiner at the the front pretty permanently. A couple of Phonaks for Hunter. Justin England’s HR is at 181, but that’s because he’s on TV.

Yeah, that 1k kite isn’t official for two more laps. Just be patient.

I had to get off of the floor from the vertigo caused by the moto camera.

I hate to complain, but I’ve seen better camera work in grade school film festivals.

It’s going to be a race to see if my TIVO caught the end of the race.

Now, it’s really 1k. Not like those other 13 times we went under the kite.

A half kilo to go and the TIVO runs out, let me join every other TIVO owner and say, “AHHHHHHHH!” together.

“Daddy why are you yelling at the TV?”

I will now scour the ToC website for the finish.

Wow, Haedo wins that one by a mile! Let me now go into a “sour grapes” tirade. It’s very anticlimactic to not have a helicopter overhead for the last kilo of a sprint stage. The head on shots don’t give a sense of the distance or speed, and they don’t show the jostling for position. I know, I know, as a US cyclist I’m supposed to be a cheerleader for all things cycling, but throw me a bone. Put a camera up overhead somehow. Hijack the traffic copter or something!

11 Comments

schmalz

I know I usually try to accomodate for that, but I figured it was tape delayed, and remember the first rule of schmalz – I’m an idiot.

Chris M

Yeah, my DVR just caught it as well. I was somewhat surprised actually. It seemed to record a minute or two past the hour. I have my very own DVR angel! I agree on the helo thing though – amazingly bad camera work, and it did seem they only have one camera on the moto, which had to slip back when the field caught up in order to get a few shots of the Discovery move etc. What a shame! Oh well. What do they think – that CA has any money to support the race? Whatever…

Rick

I have to defend the camara man, (I am one), you can’t zoom in while on a moto, no one could hold that steady. Usually moto shots are close up so that’s not a problem. They should have had more fixed cameras, and a helo would have been even better.

schmalz

I understand the camera zoom conundrum, the difference is that Euro stage races don’t usually have a tight finishing circuit. US races have to give spectators a “bang for the buck” by having the race pass many times at the finish.

Andy

It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. They cover it badly, people think it’s boring, network execs don’t think it’s worthwhile, so they cover it badly again. It would’ve been nice to see how Haedo played off all the work of the big teams, but instead you see a little blur appear out of nowhere, and that’s it. If I weren’t a fan I’d think it was stupid.

lee3

For all of the blowbag hype that the sponsers put into this you would think that they had a little budget for research of broadcast quality cycling events. For instance, the moto-camera guy without a steady cam? I can do a running sprint caring this thing and you swear I used a dolly! The website is, I must say, nice to look at and very clear, but half of the bells and whistles dont work. no live audio, video, and the ticker is a bit dodgy. I dont get it. Eveything seems so last minute. I dont bother with ESPN because I know that my patience will be pushed – hard! ÃŒ can only pray that some sort of DVD will come out. I had to constantly go back and forth from the tracker screen to the homepage screen to get the updates to post. It was good to read that Creed opened up for the KoM. Does anybody have a radio source broadcasting Sherwin and Roll simulcast audio?

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