‘Les Deux Patrons’ have a tete a tete.

“Explain this to me again. You make comments about the race online? What are these things you call ‘wisecracks’?”

Stage 19

July 22, One wake up last night so not so bad, I don’t remember it being this easy – this can’t last.

They renamed the last climb the race went over yesterday the “Côte de Laurent Jalabert”, after Jalabert, obviously. I guess when you win a stage on Bastille Day they go a little nuts. On a related note, the French named a little dip after Richard Virenque.

Moreau is upset that CA is talking to Vino. I guess they don’t appreciate his string of 10th place finishes. He is also at the plucky age of 34. Quoteth Moreau, “The arrival of Vinokourov would be an ejector seat for me,” he stated, rather bluntly. Um, Christophe, five…four…three…two…

“Black Monday” (the day after the Tour) is coming soon; I cannot face the possibility of not having a forum to revel in the glory that is Salvatore Commesso or to be able to type THOR WILL SMASH!

Looks like anyone who missed out on a breakaway win will be putting it all out there today; look for Commesso to be riding with an arm inside of Flecha’s shorts.

I had to go back to the tape yesterday after the observant Andy S. alerted me to the fact that Toto Commesso was at the front of the group in the roll off yesterday for the jersey holders. So it was Lance, Razzy, Thor – THOR WILL SMASH!, Popo, and Mr. Excitement Himself – complete with sleeveless jersey. Leblanc had to be lashed to his seat inside of his Peugeot to keep from strangling Salvatore.

Moreau is so incensed at CA’s rumored talks to Vino that he takes the intermediate KOM points on an inconsequential hill. Take that!

Four of the usual suspects off the front, don’t expect them to stay away: Guerini (no cameras, please), Casar, Pereiro, and Pellizotti bridges. Bawm-chicka bawm bawm!

There’s a group chasing the break that includes Flecha and guess who; I’ll give you one guess… Yes! It’s Commesso, the sleeveless wonder! He’s monitoring the back of the break for everyone. Thanks, Salvatore!

Flecha’s on his radio trying to get the interpretation for “pilot fish” in Italian, he’s already translated “get off my ass!”

Commesso is trying to bridge to the riders at the front, if he makes it, their fate is sealed.

Flecha is at the front of the chase group now. I can’t think of anything that would make him happier than running down his chubby shadow.

Flecha still chasing, I cannot take my eyes off the TV right now.

As Commesso gets caught, Flecha is dropping back off the pace. Toto looks through the members of the pack desperately looking for his favorite position (inside Flecha’s colon).

Flecha curses God for not being at the front when Commesso was caught.

Flecha begins bargaining with the devil to catch back onto the chase group, but all the chubby German can offer is a small push up the hill.

Interview with Chris Horner where he details how he has to sell plasma every day to be able to afford being at the Tour.

Where is Flecha?? Has he been caught? Damn you French TV!!

Eurosport.com reports that Flecha has caught back on!

Weening is in the chase also. Whee! I get to type Wheening again! Wheening! Wheening! Wheening!

Now that they are reunited Flecha and Commesso fall into their old roles. If I were to use a medical term to describe their relationship it would be “proctology.”

The pack isn’t chasing, so we could have a Toto vs. Flecha battle today, I am tingling with excitement!

Does it make me a bad person if I never want to hear why people “Livestrong” ever again?

Nothing is happening now except Cadel Evans tumbling down the GC. I don’t think Davitamon could chase their own tails right now.

Commesso does a minor attack (he just had lunch), I don’t see Flecha anywhere.

Let’s not forget that Pellizotti (Bawm-chicka bawm bawm) is at the front, and Sal and Flecha are in the chase together. It’s the Tour “perfect storm” for a smart ass like me. I would only need Thor to get involved. THOR WILL SMASH! And my computer could write this itself.

Commesso is at the front chasing while Flecha sits in. In other news the sun just revolved around the earth.

If this race stay the way it is, I would have to call this my “Queen stage” of the Tour.

Flecha is marking Commesso, he radios the team car to find out how to say, “How you like me now, tubby?” in Italian.

In perhaps one of the most ironic moments in Tour history, Paul says that Commesso is trying to drop “passengers” from the break who refuse to work.

Grabsch pulls off the pace line like a drunken gibbon.

I cannot wait until we get the desperate Commesso, “pull through, take me to the finish” hand gesture.

Toto jumps off the front… ahh, there it is.

Paul can’t understand why Commesso can’t get away, I think it’s because everyone despises him – just a guess.

Commesso insists on jumping the chase instead of putting in a coordinated effort. I imagine him getting a “Private Pyle”-type soap in the sock treatment at the hotel tonight.

Paul laments that poor Salvatore has been caught again! What! Paul, he’s a clown! Have you not been watching?!

Commesso is free and Paul congratulates him, ugh! I pray Flecha is planning an attack.

Just so we clear here, Commesso isn’t trying to bridge the gap; he is trying to draw someone out so they can get suckered into working for the line.

Oops, quick camera pan as Bertolini whips out his junk for a little “on-road weight loss.”

C’mon Pellizotti (Bawm-chicka bawm bawm), win this race, I want that porn perm on the podium!

Pereiro’s move has dropped Moreau a place in the GC. His perma-tenth is in jeopardy!

Guerini jumps at about 1k because he’s a climber, and it works! The French guy I understand, but the rest should hang their heads in shame.

Let’s see how the “heroic” Salvatore Commesso finishes. He jumps and stays away for fifth; I’m a little surprised he doesn’t raise his arms in triumph. Poor Salvatore!

One thing is for sure, there was no way anyone in that break was going to let Commesso have a chance at the win. Flecha must be ecstatic.

Thor can’t get by Robbie, but gains a point on Stuey. THOR WILL SMASH!